Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
No-one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware
that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and
(
geocities.com/siliconvalley/peaks) (
geocities.com/siliconvalley)