Date: Sun Apr 11 10:50:14 1999
From: carlos@THERIVER.COM ("Carlos A. Alvarez")
Subject: More harassment today

I had another police "contact" today, with Border Patrol.

I came out of the Walmart on Valencia and I-10 this afternoon. As I walk through the parking lot, I'm nearly run over by a BP truck, which pulls behind a small car that has just parked. The BP driver jumps out and accosts the citizen with, "Do you have some ID?!" The citizen is expectantly apprehensive and fearful, and starts to fumble for his wallet and retrieve ID.

At this point I'm right next to them, and interject, "You should ask him if he has any lawful authority to demand your ID, such as a suspicion that you have committed a crime." I should mention that I'm still in a rank mood from Friday, and to show it, I am wearing my "FUCK THE POLICE" t-shirt. It also features the universal red circle/line with a cute little pig in it.

I can see the BP cop's blood pressure rise and face redden. "Are you interfering with me doing my job here?!" he bellows. "No, but it looks to me like you're harassing a citizen and I'm just telling him he should demand his rights and ascertain if you have any authority to detain him."

"Are you a lawyer?" I reply that I'm not, and ask if he would suddenly start obeying the law if he thought he was going to get caught by someone who knows what it is. This DID NOT go over well. He walked up and got right into my face, pointed, and loudly demanded my ID. "Why? Do you suspect ME of committing a crime now? Did I commit felonious failure to cower at the sight of a plastic badge?"

"You're going to show me some ID right now so I can determine who you are!"

"So you are telling me I'm not free to leave if I want to right now?"

"No, I'm telling you to show me some ID so I can determine who you are!"

"So I am free to walk away right now?"

"No!"

"Then is this is a contact, a stop, or an arrest?"

"Stop answering with questions and tell me your name!"

"Are you asking me, or demanding it, and if you are demanding it, under what specific law am I required to provide it?"

"You are required to identify yourself upon the lawful order of a peace officer."

"Ok then, Carlos Alvarez." At this point I get a very suspicious up-and-down glance. At this point he also notices I am armed, but that part doesn't seem to phase him that much. He asks if I am carrying a gun. I tell him, "You just looked at it, didn't you?"

"Are you going to stop answering questions with questions?"

"Are you going to stop asking stupid questions and questions you don't have the authority to ask?" Again, he is visibly frustrated and rather pissed off. A crowd has gathered and is looking on. I'm glad to have the witnesses at this point. The guy they originally wanted to detain timidly asks if he can go now. And BP gruffly says "Yeah." The second BP guy is now standing about ten feet away, out of the truck but right next to it. I'm next to my car with the BP driver, a few feet away from their truck.

"What's your phone number, Mr. Alvarez?"

"Sorry guy, I'm straight, but maybe one of these people here is more your type. Why don't you ask around for their phone numbers?" The guy's face visibly reddens, I swear I smell smoke, but that could be the Taco Bell next door. He takes a deep breath and walks over to his partner. I open my trunk and start to put my purchase in it, when I overhear the partner make a quiet suggestion. "Just run his plate and see what comes back on it."

I quickly get my electric screwdriver out of the toolbag in the trunk, and remove the two screws holding the plate to the car. I'm tossing it into the trunk and locking it as the cop returns.

"You think you're a really quick and funny guy, don't you Mr. Alvarez?"

"Well, I had thought of trying out for comedy night at the police lodge, and a word from you would really help."

"You know it is a crime to drive without a license plate on your car?"

"No, it is merely a civil infraction with a $42 fine, and it is a state problem, not federal, so I guess you have no jurisdiction over the matter, and on top of that, I'm on private property, aren't I?"

"For the last time, are you going to show me some ID?"

"And for the last time, tell me your authority for demanding it, and why I am being detained here, or I am just going to leave right now."

Blank stare. Still red-faced. The partner, surprisingly, is still uninvolved and standing by the truck. Some people have left, other new ones are staring. I notice that most of them are speaking in Spanish. One comments that I don't look Mexican. It feels like a LONG time that we just have a stare-off. I'm sure I'm visibly shaken, but I still have managed not to cower appropriately. After a while I look over at the crowd and answer that I'm not Mexican, but that he was originally here to harass someone because he looked Mexican. Of course, I say this in Spanish. I can't tell if the BP guy understands me or not.

"If you try to leave here we'll notify the local police that you are driving illegally, without a plate." Wow, this is my cue to exit stage left. All he can threaten me with is to call a real cop on a "no license plate" civil infraction. I'm kind of amazed. It seems almost anti-climactic and actually makes me more nervous, but I get in my car and start it, without saying a word. BP cop is now standing behind my car taking notes. This goes on for a while, probably less time than I think, but it feels like a long time. I back up a little, he doesn't move. I continue to SLOWLY back up until I'm about a foot from him. My car is tiny and turns sharply, so I go forward and turn into the large handicapped space next to me. I'm able to turn my car in two moves and drive away, with him still standing there. Before I do, I stop to put the top down and give the BP cop a smile and a wave. I quickly hit a few back roads, then stop to put the plate back on.

After I catch a breath and cool down, I realize all my mistakes. For one, I completely failed to take any documentation. No names, badge numbers, or truck numbers. For another, I should have also asked for witness names and contact info. Especially the guy originally detained. I also should have been more direct and more in his face, so I guess I was cowering in his badgedness to some extent. I note that I'm not as brave in the face of authority as when I was a teenager. I'll have to work on that.