HYPOCHONDRIA

Once there was a mighty man named Simpson. Bob promised him powerful flatulence, and in exchange he promised never to shave his butt hair. His only desire was to marry the daughter of a rival king, Flanders. Flanders did not want this to happen because Simpson had a reputation for being a slob.

When the kingdom was attacked by a giant possum, many people planned to slay it.

"I shall slay the mighty possum!" yelled Simpson.

"Bullshit!" yelled Flanders "You couldn't handle a possum even with your mighty buttocks of doom."

Simpson went off to mope, and came across the sister of his would be bride. Her name was Mylanta.

"I am Mylanta, and for some odd reason, I think that you're kinda cute. Of course, I'm cock-eyed and half blind."

"Oooh! Just my kind of woman!" said Simpson "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a butt barber!" replied Mylanta.

"Hmmm... something tells me I should be worried, but I can't remember why?"

Simpson and Mylanta rode a chariot to the possum's den.

The possum sat upon a rock, but Simpson wasn't frightened. he bared his mighty buttocks and let out a massive fart that blew the possum to smithereens.

"I love smithereens!" said Simpson as he stuffed a handful of possum smithereens in his mouth.

In return, for slaying the possum, Simpson demanded marriage to Flanders' daughter, Shmoogy. Mylanta became insanely Jealous and decided to get revenge on Simpson.

The night before the wedding, Simpson challenged the people of Flanders' Kingdom, Wilmar, to understand a stupid joke he told.

"Why did the chicken cross the road with a banana peel on his head?"

"We don't know, Simpson. Why?" they asked.

"Hee, hee, hee. It heard blondes have more fun! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, ho, doh!"

"Duh, I don't get it!" said the Wilmarian. Every other Wilmarian agreed.

"If any of you can explain what the joke means by tomorrow, before my wedding, I'll give each of you a jelly doughnut. If you can't, each of you must give me a jelly doughnut," said Simpson.

"It's a wager," they agreed. After Simpson and Shmoogy left the room, everyone approached Mylanta.

"Get the answer from your sister, Shmoogy," they said.

"Gotcha," she said.

But Simpson refused to tell anyone, even his wife. Shmoogy got pissed off and told Flanders to enslave Simpson. Twenty people tried to capture Simpson, but Simpson bared his mighty buttocks and blew them away.

Mylanta coaxes Simpson into her quarters with a jar of mayonnaise. He ate the mayonnaise and fell asleep. While he slept, Mylanta shaved his mighty ass. When Simpson awoke, a wimpy guard named Bix was there standing. Simpson bared his ass and aimed it at Bix.

"How does it feel to be staring down the barrel of this awesome killing machine, peasant?" said Simpson.

"Go ahead Simpson, you... pansy," said Bix. Simpson squeezed and squeezed, but all he could manage were a few squeekers. Bix beat him up and brought him to the slave pit. There, King Flanders mooned him.

"How does it feel to stare at my ass, slave?"

"Actually, it's kind of arousing," said Simpson, "But what you didn't count on was my fast growing butt hair, I already have five o'clock shadow."

Simpson bared his ass and squeezed. The slave pit started to collapse around him. He went and stood between the pillars. He farted one final fart, causing the slave pit to topple, killing all inside, including him, and this is an extremely long sentence.

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