IGNORANCE

Ned was a strong follower of Bob. He was kind of a dork, but a nice guy. Ned lived in the town of Redwood Falls. One day, when Ned was out walking in the park, Bob appeared before him.

"Go to the city of Morgan. They do not believe in me, so you must teach them," Commanded Bob.

"Yes, my lord," answered Ned.

But Ned was scared, he had never before left Redwood Falls for any reason. So, he stole a canoe, and Ned and his friend, Fernando, set sail up stream to get away. Bob saw this and it pissed him off, so he sent a giant fart to blow them out of the water. Ned and Fernando were thrown from the canoe and into the murky, stench ridden river. Fernando instantly drown because he couldn't swim. Ned began to tread water to stay alive. Suddenly, a giant mutant carp burst from the water and swallowed Ned. When Ned finally opened his eyes, he was sitting inside of the carp's stomach, half buried in shit. The stench of mayonnaise in the air.

"Oh great!" said Ned "What did I do to deserve this?"

Just then he remembered Bob's command. Ned began to pray, "Bob, forgive me for I have betrayed you, but I was scared. Please save me from this mutant carp."

Slowly, Ned fell asleep, exhausted. When he awoke, he was lying on the bank of Redwood Lake.

Bob stood before Ned and said, "Follow my command, because if you don't, I will not save you again. You are just lucky that I'm a nice guy."

Ned started his journey to Morgan. After walking for half the day, he reached the city limits.

He began to preach to the Morganites, but they laughed at him. Ned continued his preaching to those that would listen. The ruler of Morgan didn't like this man teaching about a different religion, so he sent his royal guards, led by Sir Jarvis, to kill Ned. Ned was teaching in a small house in the middle of town, when the royal guards burst into the house.

"You're coming with us, false preacher. You teach lies to our people, for this you must die," said Sir Jarvis as he pulled a sword from his belt.

He was just about to kill Ned when suddenly, Sir Jarvis was changed into a loaf of banana bread. The rest of the royal guards saw this and they ran away and hid.

"Ned, take the believers out of this town. For I shall destroy it and rebuild it for those that believe. All non-believers within this town shall be condemned to Smell," rang a voice from the clouds.

Ned lead the small group of new Bobtists out of the city of Morgan. Once they were out of the city limits, the buildings and all within the city limits crumbled into croutons. Birds of all kinds flocked to Morgan and devoured the pile of croutons. Suddenly, Bob materialized above the town, and with a wave of his hand, a new town appeared. The faithful Bobtists of Morgan, then returned to their homes, and Ned remained in Morgan to teach them in the ways of Bob.

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