HOW
TO INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE A SARDAR
You should be sure the
person is Sardar when he:
- puts
lipstick on the fore-head because he wants to makeup his
mind.
gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
sends a fax with a postage stamp on
it.
tries to drown a fish in waters.
- thinks
socialism means partying.
- trips
over a cordless phone.
- takes a
ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
- At the
bottom of the application where it says "Sign
Here" he puts"scorpio."
- studies
for a blood test and fails.
- sells
the car for gas money.
- misses
the 44 route bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
- drives
to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport
left", he turns around and goes home.
- gets
locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
SARDAR'S
BMW
BMW cars
were having back mounted engines earlier.
Sardar Hari Singh Purchased
a new BMW and was driving back to home very
happily. On the way the car broke down.Sardarji came out of the
car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. He
immediately began to sweat.By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by
that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating,
trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what
was the matter.
Hari Singh:
"The BMW people made me fool. They have
given me the Car without the engine."
Gani Singh:
"Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You
can take that."
TO
LOOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji
that if he ran 8 kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34
kilos.
At the end of 300
days,Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.
What's the
problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from
home."
SPARE
BOMB
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani
Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the
parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the
front seat of their car and set off.
Hari Singh:"What
happens if the bombs blast off now".
Gani Singh:"Don't
worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"
COUNT
THE CHICKEN
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani
Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh
carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
Gani Singh:"Hey
Bhai,what's in the bag?"
Hari Singh:"Chickens"
Gani Singh:"If
I guess how many, can I have one?"
Hari Singh:"You
can have both of them."
Gani Singh:"OK,
Five?"
ANOTHER
COUNT!
Our Sardar is walking down
the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover
yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me,
but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and
yelling '86, 86, 86'?"
The man says, "Well, I
can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let
you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his
curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay."
The man lifts the manhole
cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole
cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87,
87,87".
EMPLOYMENT
Our sardarji was filling up
an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns
titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he
came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what
to be filled there. After much thought he wrote :Yes
FORM
TROUBLE ..
Our sard ultimately gets a
job in Bombay. He marries,and within a year has a child. He goes
to the local muncipal office and takes the form for the Birth
Certificate of his child. He sits under "Gateway of
India" and starts to read the form. While filling it,he asks
for help from a couple who are on vacation. After some time,he
leaves the place.
The next day the couple
leave Bombay for Delhi. There they go to "India Gate"
and sees our sard filling the same form again.They ask him "Arrey
sardarji, aap yahi form vaapas kau baar rahain hai?"
Our sard replies "Arrey
kay batauji, form kai neechai leka hai 'Fill in Capital'.
"
HEIGHT OF REVENGE
Talking about those days
when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend
sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same. Every
time he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep
with a sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem
remains persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and
catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind not to shed any
blood, yet take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts
singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete
so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
falling in to deep sleep in his hands.
HE goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
DOUBLE
DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh
landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker
bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunately Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the
rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He
saw Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with
both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What
the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my
ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've
got a *driver.*"
SARD
THIEF
Banta Singh was
shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By
midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open.
A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh
found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him!
"When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch
him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished
packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went
to the police station and reported the matter.
Police
Inspector:"What did you do to the thief?"
Banta
Singh:"I tied his hands; you come and collect
him".
Police
Inspector:"I hope you tied his legs too".
Banta Singh
felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the
legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said,
"Inspector Saab, the thief, he will still be there".
Police
Inspector:"How do you know"?
Banta Singh:"Well,
that fellow is also a Sardarji".
TEA
PARTY
Our Sard once, gets a invitation for Tea from
Queen Elizabeth. Their he sits along with the Queen and Prince
Charles chitchatting. Soon the waiters bring the Tea. Elizabeth
keeps her cup in upright position, Charles keeps it in the
downward position. Our sard gets confused seeing this and keeps
his cup in a diagonal position. The people around get shocked.
The head waiter gathers some courage and asks our sard,
Headwaiter: "Sir,why have you kept
your cup in such a unconventional position."
Sard: "Why have they kept theirs in
such position?"
Headwaiter:"Sir, the Queen wants
Tea hence she has kept her cup in a upright position. And the
Prince does not want Tea, hence he has kept his cup in a downward
direction."
Sard: " ooh! Well then my tea cup
position indicates,' Mangtah hai thou dal warna baad mai jaah'!"
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