http://www.stoupak.com/Letters2/EN_90627.TXT ---------------------------------------------------- Yuriy Stupak, 27jun99, English text follows ---------------------------------------------------- Life in BUTter : smooth BUT slowly. New World makes me a lazy guy. I used to live here reacting on extreme things with me for more than one year. My life looks boring now: not enough reasons for struggling-to-survive. A big tail of problems, BUT... My life is in BUTter - it goes smooth BUT a bit SLOWLY. Of course all my former Russian roommates from IPEX will drive their families on thier cars in July - and in July I'll study motobiking... moreover I don't have anybody near to repeat me that "it can be dangerous". All the old continues with a small improvement - and everything looks like "life is improving, BUT...". ---------------------------------------------------- So I decide to classify my problems (see list below) and choose from them something to struggle through. * Camel has one (or two) humps - * Because life is way with BUMPs. "U verblyuda dva gorba / potomu chto zhizn`=bor`ba" The chosen one is my $3800 Patelco loan for my family visit in 1998. I'd like to pay it off completely NOW. What does it mean for me? For 2 next weeks I should live with $100 available on my credit card and $200 available on the ATM one. I also should think about July 31 when my rent is expired and I'd like to rent another apartment - with another deposit and all... :-( That's the most serious problem I can get now )-: Others "current... BUT(-)problem... BUT(+)" follows: ---------------------------------------------------- 1. MYSELF (the state of SUBJECTIVE stuff that's me). 1.1. MIND: My mind is more reflective than before, BUT(-) It looks like a TRASH CAN OF THINKING anyway :-( it's more THINKING TRASH than THINKING RUSH )-: BUT(+) I try to control flows of thoughts, BUT(-) I can't stop thinking in Russian and other negative ones, BUT(+) I keep a heap of paper notes to help my mind, BUT(-) I don't start to move notes on CD(IME), BUT... 1.2. LANGUAGE: I work in an English-speaking company and have a roommate from London (Philip), BUT(-) I sit "face-to-screen" at work and return home late, BUT(+) I try to use more English for any cost, BUT(-) I'm thinking in Russian TOO MUCH, BUT(+) I read ENGLISH only, BUT(-) I don't watch American TV enough, BUT(+) We watch movies (Thanks, Jacqui), BUT... 1.3. COMMUNICATIONS: I have friendly communications with a lot of English and Russian speakers, BUT(-) since my school, high school, university, 1st job... I used to be scattered from all my previous friends in every relocation or any other move of my life BUT(+) I make my own efforts to be in touch with, BUT(-) I haven't send enough Email and made phone calls to my former collegues, BUT(+) I've updated my AddrBook, bought Cell Phone and write this one, BUT... 1.4. FITNESS: I suspect that I'm in a lot better physical shape than I should be according my feeling and life, BUT(-) I haven't attended 24-hours-Fitness for months and I get used to "life is a pain" idea, BUT(+) I'm developing capability to {re}act without dependence on my mood and be healthy filling sick, BUT(-) I don't understand for what-the-Hell-sake I need all of it and how I'm supposed to use it, BUT... 1.5. PROGRAMMING: I have a programmer's job in C++, SQL, HTML..., BUT(-) the same languages I used early and I made only improvements with smaa-aa-aal steps, BUT(+) I have SUN and PC in network at work and PC with Internet at home, BUT(-) I HAVEN'T improved all my OS-s, hardware and programming tools since previous year, BUT(+) I see a chance to start it in JULY, BUT... ---------------------------------------------------- 2. SOCIAL RELATIONS (with others = INTER-SUBJECTIVE). 2.1. JOB: I started to discuss my "merged credit report" deployment with customer support, BUT(-) It would be the MAILed credit report only - my HTML output should be PRINTed, BUT(+) I hope to keep it in Intranet at least and try some Postscript and all, BUT(-) I'm doing "REPORTs" again - and it SUCKS, BUT(+) Another Russians live on making reports and reports sucks only if there are no deployment, BUT... 2.2. USA-STATUS: I'm making another transfer of my H-1B visa - from sponsor IPEX to QSpace I work, BUT(-) I prepared my own papers during February, BUT(+) They send my paper to attorney who is the same person I've got both of my previous H-1B approvements, BUT(-) It is after 6 months in IPEX that allowed me to file GREEN CARD in IPEX, BUT(+) IPEX took my papers for GREEN CARD and returned me for use them in QSpace, BUT(-) I haven't discussed it properly in QSpace and they haven't got yet any experience with H-1B/GREEN CARD approvements... 2.3. MONEY: I've got some advance from IPEX - extra $100 per week, BUT(-) the total is less than I expected transferring to IPEX, BUT(+) more than I started in IPEX with. BUT(-) I'm going to pay more taxes as "Single-1" does - until my family approves itself in USA like an existing one, BUT(+) QSpace is going to increase my salary, BUT(-) this advance looks too decent now, BUT(+) I've started to pay my last $4000+$1500 loans, BUT(-) I can be in "housing search" : my apartments rent expired July 31, BUT... 2.4. FAMILY: It looks like a total disaster: they just don't want to live HERE with me..., BUT(+) My Ioulia's finished school with "5" only, got silver medal and it looks she really strive for passing the entering exams, BUT(-) I transfer them monthly less than in Metabyte and don't have money for thier trips "abroad" in this year, BUT(+) I'm going to transfer money without breaks plus reimburse Ioulia education expenses in addition, BUT(-) I can't influence on Ioulia progress and AFAIK she never used to reflect BUT(+) My parents are alive and want to live enough for my visiting them, BUT(-) I haven't got the new Russian foreign passport yet to fly back, BUT... ---------------------------------------------------- 3. In the world of objects (with OBJECTIVE THINGS). 3.1. HOUSING: I've found that I like to live in 2-bedroom place with a roommate and the sharing of expenses pays off, BUT(-) My roommate is going to find something more closed to his job and I decided to leave this appartment with him, BUT(+) I discussed sharing of appartment with a couple of potential roommates and this house has a couple of empty appartments that give some chanses for short extension (month-to-month, not by year or half), BUT(-) It SUCKS to live WITHOUT DISHWASHER - I'm almost done, BUT... 3.2. DRIVING: I'm without car for a year at least, BUT(+) I've proved that I can drive (rented car for weekend and drove 300 miles between Santa-Crus and Napa), BUT(-) I'm tired of riding my bike for all the other time, BUT(+) My biking makes my to pass test for MOTORCYCLE PERMIT, BUT(-) Motobikes cost here, BUT(+) I'm going to study biking on courses in JULY, BUT(-) I had problems with car insurance and haven't started to manage them, BUT... 3.3. STORED INFORMATION: I have some books and a set of computing-audio-video toys, BUT(-) I don't: (a)make enough pictures, (b)listen records, (c)use video and audio cassetes and CD, BUT(+) I've got a sell phone, I'm trying to use audio and make pictures again, BUT... 3.4. LIVE SHOWS: I haven't visited theaters, museums and exhibitions for months, BUT(+) my life and peaple around me is a SHO-O-OW itself (more cute than in my BOLSHOI-THEATER-visiting times or any other interesting times in my life), BUT(-) I haven't any trips for more than "a light day time", BUT... 3.5. BROWN. 3.5.1. EATING: I quit overeating and overdrinking - also I can eat sometimes a lot, BUT(-) Now I don't refuse to drink (as I did in first 9 months of 1998) and I don't spend money for the better food, BUT... 3.5.2. DRESS: I change my shirt every day again, BUT(-) I don't have enough dress, BUT(+) I really need 5-7 shirts and similar triffles and I have more than dozen, BUT(-) It sucks to iron them, BUT... 3.5.3. REST: (-) I don't have enough rest, BUT(?) I suspect that all the peaple around me (or dealing with me) don't have a rest also, BUT... 3.5.4. PERSONAL LIFE: My personal life is frozen and it can be FOR GOOD, BUT(+) Since I've lost fear of death... it looks like a trifle problem for me... ----------------------------------------------------