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Below are answers / essay statements taken from exam papers relevant to Science classes. They are real.
"When you breath, you inspire.
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a
"When you smell an oderless gas,
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
"Three kinds of blood vessels are
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first
"The moon is a planet just like the earth,
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and
"The body consists of three parts- the brainium,
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines,
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is,
"Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will
"Equator: A managerie lion running around
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out
"To remove dust from the eye,
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady,
"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days.
"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
When you do not breath, you expire."
flame in a test tube"
it is probably carbon monoxide"
it is not found in a free state"
Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
inspiration, and then expectoration."
only it is even deader."
does it to the cow instead of the bull."
down on them and makes them perspire."
more than it can hold."
so they look like umbrellas."
the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium
contains the brain, the borax contains the heart
and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the
bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
against insects."
part of Indiana."
have been taken out and the outsides have been
taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
something to hitch meat to."
eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no
water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I
forget where the sun joins in this fight."
the more extinct it is."
have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that
is a large misconception."
the Earth through Africa."
if the blood is affirmative or negative."
pull the eye down over the nose."
the body until the heart stops."
move up and down to make artifical perspiration."
rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head
between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
If he has not recovered, then kill it."
the patient is dead."
it drops in your throat."
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