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“Your job will be to supervise Heaven’s new data processing center.
We’re building the largest computing facility in creation. Half a million computers connected by a multi-segment fiber optic network, all running into a back-end server network with a thousand CPUs on a gigabit channel. Fully fault tolerant. Fully distributed processing. The works.”
Bill can barely contain his excitement. “Wow! What a great job! This is really Heaven!”
“We’re just finishing construction, and we’ll be starting operations soon. Would you like to go see the center now?” Abraham asks.
“You bet!” says Bill.
Abraham and Bill catch the shuttle bus and go to Heaven’s new data processing center. It is a truly huge facility, a hundred times bigger than the Astrodome. Workmen are crawling all over the place, getting the miles of fiber optic cables properly installed. But the center is dominated by the computers. Half a million computers, arranged neatly row-by-row, half a million ....
.... Macintoshes .... .... all running Claris software! Not a PC in sight! Not a single byte of Microsoft code!
The thought of spending the rest of eternity using products that he had spent his whole life working to destroy was too much for Bill.
“What about PCs???” he exclaimed. “What about Windows??? What about Excel??? What about Word???”
“You’re forgetting something,” said Abraham.
“What’s that?” asked Bill plaintively.
“This is Heaven,” explained Abraham. “We need a computer system that’s heavenly to use. If you want to build a data processing center based on PCs running Windows, then go to Hell!”
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