MY DAILY ATTITUDE

>> > > > My Daily Attitude
>> > > >
>> > > > I can please only one person per day.
>> > > > Today is not your day.
>> > > > Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
>> > > >
>> > > > I don't have an attitude problem.
>> > > > You have a perception problem.
>> > > >
>> > > > I love deadlines.
>> > > > I especially like the whooshing sound
>> > > > they make when they go flying by.
>> > > >
>> > > > Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
>> > > >
>> > > > If swimming is so good for your figure,
>> > > > how do you explain whales?
>> > > >
>> > > > Am I getting smart with you?
>> > > > How would you know?
>> > > >
>> > > > The more you run over a cat,
>> > > > the flatter it gets.
>> > > >
>> > > > I'm not just a gardener.
>> > > > I'm a plant manager.
>> > > >
>> > > > My reality check bounced.
>> > > >
>> > > > On the keyboard of life,
>> > > > Always keep one finger on the escape key.
>> > > >
>> > > > I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
>> > > >
>> > > > You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding
>> > > > through chunky peanut butter.
>> > > >
>> > > > I don't suffer from stress.
>> > > > I'm a carrier.
>> > > >
>> > > > I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
>> > > >
>> > > > I'd explain it to you,
>> > > > but your brain would explode.
>> > > >
>> > > > Tell me what you need,
>> > > > and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
>> > > >
>> > > > Eagles may soar, but weasels don't
>> > > > get sucked into jet engines.