DAMNED WIVES

These three men are going through CIA training, trying to become
secret 
>agents. They finally get through all their written and physical tests 
>when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who takes them to a 
>small room with a one way mirror in it looking into another room. 
>They bring the first guy's wife into that room and leave her there.   The 
>instructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to the first man 
>and says "Go kill your wife of five years."  The trainee takes the 
>weapon, goes into the next room but comes back out 1 minute later and 
>says "I can't do it."  The instructor replies, "Then you fail out - get 
>out." 
>They then bring the second guy's wife into the room and leave her there. 
> The instructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to the 
>second man and says "Go kill your wife of ten years."  The trainee takes 
>the weapon , goes into the next room but comes back out 3 minutes later 
>and says "I can't do it."  The instructor replies, "Then you fail out - 
>get out." 
>Finally, they bring the third guy's wife into the room and leave her 
>there.  The instructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to 
>the third man and says "Go kill your wife of fifteen years."  The trainee 
>takes the weapon, goes into the next room where there is silence for 1 
>minute.  Suddenly, there are two gunshot sounds followed by a huge 
>commotion in the room.  The third man came out finally, sweating 
>profusely, and says, "Good job, asshole!  You gave me blanks - I had to 
>choke the bitch!" 

A man goes to Frederick's of Hollywood.  He wants to buy his wife the 
most sheer lingerie he can find.  The woman behind the counter goes 
and gets an outfit. 

"This is $200," she says. 

"I want one more sheer," he says. 

"This one is $350." 

"I want it even more sheer than that." 

"This one is the most sheer that we have. It's $500." 

"I'll take it!" 

The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying "Go put this

on and come down to model it for me." 

His wife goes upstairs opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so 
see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or 
not." 

So his wife comes down wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose. "So,

how do you like it?" she asks. 

"Boy, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the darn thing."