~~~  Take my course, and watch your money grow!  ~~~

    A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a
7-11),
 put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change.  When the clerk
 opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
 in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.  The man took the
 cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
 total amount of cash he got from the drawer?  Fifteen dollars.


                     ~~~  I demand a refund!  ~~~

    A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a
 bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was
 substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be
 arrested immediately.


                    ~~~  A Good, Honest Crook!  ~~~

    A bank robber was arrested the day after the robbery at a motel near
 the state line only twenty or thirty miles away.  Why did he stop so
 close to the scene of the crime?  He explained he was on parole and
 couldn't cross the state line without permission from his parole
 officer.

                 ~~~  Ahead: A *Serious* hangover!  ~~~

    Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided
 that he'd just throw a cinderblock thru a liquor store window, grab
some
 booze, and run.  So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
 head at the window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
 thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  The liquor store window
was
 made of Plexi-Glass.  (PLUS, The whole event was caught on videotape.)


              ~~~  I know you are, but what am I?  ~~~

    As a female shopper exited a Ney York convenience store, a man
 grabbed her purse and ran.  The clerk called 911 immediately and the
 woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. 
 Within minutes, police had apprehended the perpetrator.  They put him
in
 their cruiser and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken
out
 of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.  To which he
 replied, "Yes Officer... that's her.  That's the lady I stole the purse
 from."