so I was going to see my honey,
in oil city,
(she shore is pretty)
ay!

Cat Farm
Cat Farm
Cat-

I took the wrong turn(gall durn)
I came on this big sign(what’d it say?)
It said one word or maybe two I don’t know for sure
Ay!

Cat Farm
Cat Farm
Cat-

[unknown instrument solo]

Well I stopped the the car(nyyeee)
there was this old man by the sign[cackling]
He was old and he had this beard and
I went up to the old man
and the old man said

and the old man said
and the old man said
and the old man said

Welcome to the Cat Farm

Find A Saw

well I’ve got some wood in big long pieces
got splinters in my soul
well I’d really like to build a boat
to sail the Hell away
Cause I live in a place that ain’t no fun
don’t get to loot or pilliage none

(harmonica solo)
I can’t build a boat with wood so large
whatever shall I do
Find a saw
we’ll find a saw

Are You Mad, Mr. Hooper?
 

(Matt Noonan 1,2,3 repeated throughout)
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
I left the lights on
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
removed the left segment of your brain
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
replaced your shoes with exact replicas
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
crushed your dreams

[duet bugle & unknown instrument]
Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper[static]
Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper(Voice of Judge Doon: “I wasn’t working for a toon”)
Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper(“maroon told us the rabbit became quite agitated”)
Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper(“is that true?”)
Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Hooper(“my luitenant from the smell of him I’d say...”)
[duet: bugle & unknown instrument]
broke your legs and Blackened your eye
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
made you embarassed...[too garbled]
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
ate Your Last Macaroon
Are you mad Mr. Hooper?
crushed your dreams

Spider (Get It Off Me)

oooh spider
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
I will not get the spider off of you
get the spider off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no no
Now Let me Tell you all something!

[round]
Spider,Spider, Spider, a- bow-bow-bow
Spider, get off me
Spider,  Oh, Whoa-oh
Get it off of me.[Angelo Laughing.  voice of eddie Valient “get this st
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
uh-uh
get it off me
that spider?
get it off me
no
I’m not going to get THAT spider off you!
get it off me
uh-uh-uh
wouf
i will not get the spider off you
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
get it off me
no
oh okay here you go
thanks

Del Griffith Suite #1
(sound clips)

Death By Being Fat

ladies and gentlemen of the Jury although my client did not die
of natural causes I must conscede that neither was he murdered.
He died by being fat
dangerously overweight,
hyper-obese chubby,
portly,
stout,
amply proportioned,
a lard ass,
fat,
death by being fat

you’re dead, you’re dead, You’re dead cause you’re too fat
you’re dead, you’re dead, You’re dead cause you’re too fat
you’re dead, you’re dead, You’re dead and I don’t care
dead dead
death by being fat

Yeah welcome to fat Burger can I take your order?
I’ll have 7 Double Cheeseburgers with extra mayonaise,  17 Large Friesno
no stop you’re too fat alredy sir
also a Rump roast and 24 Milkshakes, 12 Chocolate
please don’t make me give you any more food
10 Vanilla,  2 Strawberry
I just can’t help myself
It is too late
you have gone too far

Man With Hose
 

man with hose

Dead in a Ditch
 

Ooh, Mr. Milkman, with your shiny white truck
Ooh, You think you’re such a nice man, delivering milk everyday
Ooh, but when I get my membership, to the NRA
Ooh, I better not seeya no more, or you may find yourself
dead in a ditch

Ooh, Lionel Richie, with your stupid big hair
Ooh, you say you can’t stop moving, why don’t you just go away
Ooh, when I get my membership, to the NRA
Ooh, you better just move along, or you may find yourself
dead in a ditch

Ooh, Mr. President, won’tcha get off my case
Ooh, you think you’re pretty special, cause you run the united states
Ooh, when I get my membership, to the NRA
Ooh, y’better just watch out, or you may find yourself
dead in a ditch

El Wyvren Mucho Clubbo (The Wyvren Clubs Tonite)
 

CHORUS:
woke up in a pool of my own vomit
woke up in a pool of my own vomit
woke up in a pool of my own vomit

I had been out clubbing
clubbing I had been
but never shall I club again
because I
CHORUS

I used to go clubbing
clubbing I would go
but to clubbing I now say no
because I
CHORUS

clubbing clubbing clubbing
clubbing nosirree
clubbing’s not for me
because I
CHORUS

Fire
 

Help me, I'm on fire.  (etc)

Del Griffith Suite #2

(sound clips)

The Bear
 

uh hu uh-hu
yeah
c’mon now
bring the pain on
alright alright
well
hyah
[diggeridooet]
well here we go now
a wu’ a wu’ a wu’
hey
do the
oh yeah
getup
get up
it’s the

Now We're Cooking With Gas!

I usta ride horses
usta feed’m hay when I could
suppertime came around I tell ya what went down
burnin’ wood
baby baby a-bippin’ boppin’ never stoppin’ gas gas
gas gas
now we’re cookin’ with gas

well look at that wood stove messin’ up the place
y’got ashes on the floor y’got smoke in your face
baby baby a-bippin’ boppin’ never stoppin’ gas gas
gas gas
now we’re cookin’ with gas

I usta ride horses usta feed’m wood no hay when I could not wood ha ha
Well my main man the gas man came to town(hi I’m from the gas company)
sprayin’ his gas hose round and round
gas gas fire fire gas on my head
i usta ride horses now I’m dead
baby baby a-bippin’ boppin’ never stoppin’ gas gas
gas gas
now we’re cookin’ with gas
I’m talkin’ ‘bout tanker fires and oil spills
old man gas he’s countin’ his kills
so burn your wood stoves of the past
and watch your back cause
now we’re cookin’ with gas!

The Civil War

(genuine sounds from the Civil War)