Confucius say...
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius say...
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk.
Men who put cream in tart not always bakers!
Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.
Man like baby - want to suck tit all day.
Naked man fears no pick pocket.
Man who masturbate only screwing himself.
Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the desert.
Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal.
Schoolboy who mess around with school girl during wrong period get caught red-handed.
Girls should not marry basketball players because they always dribble before they shoot.
Woman who dance while wearing a jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who fly air plane up-side down, have big crack up!
When lady says no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she mean yes. When lady say yes, she no lady
Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end.
Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.
Man who fart in Church sit in own pew.
Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.
Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy.
Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick.
Man who date flat-chested girl have good reason to feel low-down.
Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock
Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth.
Man who go to bed with diarrhoea wake up in deep shit.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more!
* "Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
* "Man who drive like hell bound to get there!"
* "Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
Confucius say... man with no legs bums around.
Confucius say... he who let woman on top is f*cking up.
Confucius say... man who get hit by car get that run down feeling.
Confucius say.... Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say...
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Confucius say...
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius say...
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Confucius say...
Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.
Confucius say...
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Confucius say...
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Confucius say...
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling
nuts.
Confucius say...
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say...
He who run in front of bus get tired, but he who run behind bus get exhausted.
Confucius say...
He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs.
Confucius say...
Man who go to sleep with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger
Confucius say...
Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night.
Confucius say...
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
Confucius say...
If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people.
Confucius say...
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!
Confucius say...
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Confucius say...
Girl meets boy in park... but boy park meat in girl
Confucius say...
Don't sweat the petty stuff... and don't pet the sweaty stuff
Confucius say...
Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change
Confucius say...
To prevent hangover stay drunk!
Confucius say...
Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!
Confucius say...
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Confucius say...
Man who walk through airport sideways going to BANGkok.
Confucius say...
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confucius say...
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge.
Confucius say...
Man trapped in whore house get jerked around.
Confucius say...
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Confucius say:
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Confucius say...
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucius say...
Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.
Confucius say...
Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
Confucius say...
Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
Confucius say...
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Confucius say...
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Confucius say...
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Confucius say...
Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.
Confucius say...
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!
Confucius say...
Man who sit on tack get point!
Confucius say...
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius say...
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Confucius say...
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement
Confucius say...
People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.