Why Dogs don't use Computers
- Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
- Fetch command not available on all platforms.
- Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
- Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
- Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
- Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
- Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com
instead of working.
- Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
- Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
- Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies
tail-wagging.
- Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable
Thumb.
- Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
- 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
- Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
- SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
- Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
- Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
- Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
- TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. (Too Damn
Hard To Type With Paws.)