50 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to any other passengers

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: " SHUT UP, DAMMIT, ALL OF YOU, JUST SHUT UP"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies

6. On a long ride, swing side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator

7. Shave

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there."

9. Offer name tags to everyone entering the elevator. Wear yours upside down

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off

11. When the elevator stops at your floor, grunt and strain to get the doors open, then look embarrassed when they open by themselves

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming."

13. Greet everyone who enters the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral"

14. One word: Flatulence

15. On the highest floor hold the door open and demand that it stay open untill you hear your coin go "plink" at the bottom

16. Do Tai Chi exercises

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, before finally anouncing: "I've got new socks on."

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, groan from the back: "oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger

20. Meow occasionally

21. Bet other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose

22. Frown and mumble "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops"

23. Show other people a wound and ask if it looks infected

24. Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while continually pushing buttons

25. Holler "chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side

27. Stare at one passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of them" and then retreat to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, and then say, "mmmmm....Tasty"

29. Leave a box between the doors

30. Ask each pasenger getting on if you can push the button for them

31. Wear a puppet on your hand, and ask other ppassengers to talk "through" it

32. Start a sing-a-long

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica

35. Shadow box

36. Say "ding" at each floor

37. Lean against the button panel

38. Say "I wonder what these do" and push all the red buttons

39. Listen to the walls with a stethoscope

40. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to all the other passengers that this is your "personal space"

41. Bring a chair along

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger "wanna see whas in muh mouf?"

43. Blow spit bubbles

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings

45. Announce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host body"

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively

47. Make explosion noises whenever someone pushes a button

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers

49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think its getting larger"

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "bad touch"

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