It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
However, we do realise the
importance of staff being able to properly express
their feelings when communicating
with other employees. With this in mind, the Human Resources Department
has compiled a list of code replacements so the proper exchange of ideas
and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence
to your more sensitive co-workers.
OLD PHRASE
NEW PHRASE
No f**king way
I’m fairly sure that’s not feasible
You’re f**king kidding
Really?
Tell someone who gives a f**k
Have you run that by ....?
No cunt told me
I wasn’t involved in that project
I don’t have the f**king time
Perhaps I can work late
Who f**king cares
Are you sure that’s a problem?
Eat shit and die
You don’t say
Eat shit and die, motherf**ker
You don’t say, sir
Kiss my ass
So, you’d like me to help you
He’s a f**king prick
He’s somewhat insensitive
You have not got a f**king clue
You could use some more training
This place is f**ked
We’re a little disorganised today
What sort of f**k-wit are you
You’re new here, aren’t you
F**k off shit head
Well, there you go
You’re a f**king wanker
You’re my superior and I respect you
Ha, suck eggs
I wasn’t here that day
You’re f**king paranoid
So, you’re from Sydney
You’re f**king useless
So, you’re from Melbourne
F**k off
I’ll look into that and get back to you
F**k off, dickhead
I no longer require your assistance
You f**king loser
Gee, that was unfortunate