Well, It seems I'm in the spot light now So the first thing I want to say is that being a Dom is like being a parent, really it is. A single parent is a Dom/ Domme to a child. Ok sometimes the child is the Dom/Domme. Kitty is my child in some ways. In that I mean, I have to teach her. I take care of kitty, I make sure shes not neglected. I make it a point to let her know when she has done a good job, wiether its cooking a great meal or just letting her know how I appreciate having a clean home. She is responsible for running our home and I have to show her how I want it ran. Kitty is an adult as well and is my partner. We talk about things that need to be done. She tells me her feelings and what she thinks. I have the responsiblity of making the final choice and have to take responsibilty for it. Especially if it's the wrong choice. That my job as her Dom. Just as it is the parents. Its not about ordering her around. There are many things that go into a D/S relationship. A lot is made up as we go in order to make it "our lifestyle."
I refer to kitty as "my pet" I try to pamper her as much as I do my cat.
I feel a good Dom should be wise enough to know when he/she has to be a student. Its been said If you think you know all there is and can't be taught then its time for you to leave this lifestyle. I like "If you think you know it all, Get over it."
I'm still learning.
The book called "The Loving Dominant" by Jay Wiseman is a great tool for anyone and there are many tools or resources to learn by and use. Knowing this and knowing that I have alot to learn is what I feel it means to be a Dominant. You can teach an old dog a new trick..... Robert |
