Last night after me being a bit grumpy and pissed off at Cindy she asks me: "Do you think we're going to last?"

I gave the stupidly optimistic "I'd like to think so."

I used to believe it.

This morning I feel like the worst human being in the world.

I can kill every emotion of mine except guilt. Happiness, sadness, anger, pain, a click of the heels and they're gone, hidden, forgotten. But guilt doesn't really present itself in an outwardly manner anyway.

The nature of guilt is an emotional cancer. It wastes you away. Makes you weak. Maybe it doesn't show today or for a couple of months but, it comes. It's there. You can't help but feel it. Eventually your family sees the wear in you. The listlessness in your eyes. The effort it takes to line up your thoughts.

I've got a cancer. guilt. And I'm afraid it's quietly killing me.

I certainly know it's not the other way around.