Signs From Around the World

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not a person to do such thing,
please not to read notice.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will
be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only
when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving
is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the
job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are
buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose
in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer’s suit. Because of big rush we will
execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000
Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were
executed over the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping
site that people of different sex, for instance, men
and women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested
that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are
welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the
water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cools and Heats: If you want just condition of
warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still
obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

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