Seth sucked the chocolate mix off his finger, occasionally glancing up at the boy across from him. He had always been an only child and he never had many friends, so he wasn't quite sure what to do. Normally he'd just spend all day vegging out in front of the TV, or battling it out with video games or he'd play some Jenga with Captain Oats, or something equally as childish. But though he was okay with being himself with Ryan he still felt the need to prove to the boy that he wasn't a child.

He glanced up to catch Ryan's jaw clenching on the metal spoon and couldn't help the shudder that ran through him. The way Ryan was just there, leaning on the sink, white tee stretched across his chest looking as though he owned the kitchen and everything in it. And did *that* just send a jolt down Seth's body, thinking of Ryan owning him, possessing him. Holding him in those strong arms and-whoa was that thinking going way into the direction of wrong and perverted. Ryan was his brother now for goodness sakes and why did a part of him keep trying to remind him they weren't blood. Just because they weren't blood didn't mean they weren't family and you just didn't do *those* things with family. Oh God.

He blushed biting his finger and trying to stop a groan. This was definitely not good and someone needed to talk before this went any farther and boy was he really glad he had this bowl right now covering his- "So, Ryan, come up with any ideas of things to do today? I mean besides everything I already came up with because, you already said you didn't want to do them and well is there anything you wanna do because I really can't think of anything else."

Seth wanted to hit himself. Stupid babbling idiot.

Ryan shrugged turning to the sink and running the water to wash the few dishes in them. "Don't really care what we do."

"So you want to go out? We could always take a ride in the car or go to the beach or something."

Ryan shook his head. "That's cool but I'd rather just hang out here. You know with everything that went on yesterday…Just not really in a going out mood."

Seth understood that. There was a lot of times he'd rather just spend time indoors rather then face the world outside and everything it thought of him. He watched Ryan's back as he ran the sponge over the spoon looking at the way the tee stretched across the muscles. And there went the thoughts. He hopped off the island hoping to distract his mind from running down that definitely *wrong* path. He came up beside Ryan placing the bowl into the sink. "Okay, so we'll stay in then. Any ideas for indoors?"

"Actually, I was considering that swim."

"Oh okay then. We can do that. I'll um go get dressed then. But we gotta keep an eye on these brownies so we don't set the house on fire and yea I'll go now."

Seth ran up the stairs taking them two at a time. Great Ryan had chosen the perfect time for a swim. A bit of cold water would be a great shock to his system...and if not it would at least provide *some* way to hide his, um, problem.

When he finally choose a suit and came downstairs Ryan was already waiting outside in his own. Seth tried to fight the urge to give his now brother the once over.

"We should check on the brownies in like, 20 minutes."

Seth nodded not trusting his voice and jumped into the water. The cold blast sure helped. He resurfaced to find Ryan making his way into the pool the slow way and had to go under again to clear his mind of the image and the thoughts that dared to follow.

~~~

Ryan wasn't quite sure why he changed his mind about the pool. Half to stop Seth from torturing him with that evil mouth and half for lack of better things to suggest. He now regretted the decision. It wasn't the first time he had seen Seth in his swimming trunks and nothing else but it was the first time he saw him in them *after* witnessing what he had in the kitchen. He had figured the cold water would provide the shock to the system he needed to stop thinking thoughts that were sure to get him kicked out of his nice new living quarters not to mention, lose a friend. But after seeing that lean figure come out of the house, all soft curves and rumpled hair, he knew the water couldn't help him.

He watched as Seth jumped in and then took his own time slipping into the water. The cold shock wasn't going to help him now so he couldn't be bothered with just jumping straight in. When he finally got himself under and used to the temperature of the water he allowed himself to look at his companion. Only after doing so did he realize how much of a mistake that was. He shivered and it *wasn't* because of the water.

He looked at Seth, all big brown puppy dog eyes and trembling lip, dark curls sticking to his forehead, water droplets taking there sweet time to caress that beautiful face before there reunion with the water mass below. He bit his lip.

"Water's cold." Seth said happily darting back under said water again.

Ryan just nodded. Was this his punishment for all the crimes and petty larceny? The stupid things he did before he was even aware what he was doing, simply following his brother around and mimicking him. It had to be. Why else would he be stuck in the most perfect family he had ever met with a desire to run his hands over the immensely untouchable.

He pulled himself under the water trying to clear his head. It wouldn't do for Seth to see just what he was sporting in his trunks. Wouldn't do for Seth to know.

"Ah!" Seth said popping back out of the water. "The brownies!"

Had it really been that long? Ryan tried to calm himself. "I'll get them."

"Good. I mean, cool."

He managed to make it out of the pool without facing Seth once, hoping that the kitchen would serve as the needed distraction for his mind. He grabbed a towel off a chair and ran it through his hair. He could clean up the mess but didn't really want to cause one in the first place. In the kitchen he grabbed some pot holders and proceeded to pull the brownies out the oven. Yep, perfect.

"So they look good?"

Ryan's hand jerked grazing the hot oven rack. He hissed pulling the brownies all the way out and placing them on the surface.

"Oh my god, Ryan, are you alright?"

~~~

Seth felt like an even bigger idiot then normal. He was used to being accident prone but causing Ryan pain? Ryan's jaw clenched and he grabbed his towel applying the damp cloth to his arm. Seth rushed over to him closing the oven and biting his lip. He looked at Ryan. "Oh god Ryan, I'm so sorry. Lemme see."

Ryan was reluctant to give up his arm but did so anyway. Seth looked at the red skin and tried not to look too relieved. "Well, your great reflexes saved you. I should get something for that though." He held Ryan's arm in his hands trying not to give into the urge to run them over the smooth muscles he could feel contracting underneath his fingertips. "I'll be right back." He let go of Ryan's arm and practically ran to the bathroom for the first aid kit. At least being accident prone helped him somewhere. He shifted through the contents looking for some kind of burn cream or something. He found one and with a small sound of triumph rushed it back to Ryan.

"Got something." He read the back. "Okay well this should help but we can't go back to swimming though. Not that that would be a good idea anyway."

"I'll be fine man. I've had worse." Ryan said grimacing. Seth noted that Ryan had probably ran his arm under the cold water while he was gone, the soft droplets running over the irritated skin.

"It'll help." Ryan looked at the tube warily. "Please. Just, for me?" Seth asked looking into soft blue eyes. Ryan rolled them but gave in with a slightly agitated, "Fine."

Seth tried not to smile as he noticed that though Ryan gave in he was not making any moves to take the ointment. Okay then Nurse Seth it is...and how disturbing is *that* mental picture. He unscrewed the cap squeezing out some of the cream onto his fingers. "Tell me if I hurt you."

Ryan gave him an 'I could deal' face but nodded anyway. He grabbed Ryan's arm softly with one hand and used the other to gently apply the ointment. He tried not to let his mind wander over to thoughts of how smooth Ryan's skin felt under his fingers. Or how badly he wanted to run his hands over other things. The broad chest, those strong shoulders, that-whoa back with the un-brotherly thoughts. He mentally scolded himself for letting his mind get worked up again. He avoided looking up into Ryan's eyes.

And yea the cream was already worked in but he couldn't stop touching him and if Ryan wasn't making any objections why should he? He refrained from letting his hands go anywhere else then the red tinged skin though.

"Feels good." He hears that deep tone and it travels straight down his body. Looking up he falls into those soft blue eyes again and they are so close, faces almost touching, if Ryan only moved a few more inches or if he did it would just be the perfect-Ryan breaks eye contact, clearing his throat and gently taking back his arm. "Um, thanks."

"No, Problem man." And that’s a lie, Seth can feel it in his chest wrapping around his heart and lungs. He runs a hand nervously through his hair ruffling it into more unruly strands. He shouldn't feel rejected I mean what did he actually expect? Ryan *was* his brother now after all, and its not like Ryan went that way, not like *he* went that way.

He swallows watching Ryan walk over to the brownies. "Looks like they're better then perfect." He hears and it sounds so far away. He takes a deep breath trying to calm himself, get his lungs to work again, to get rid of that crushing feeling.

"Great." But he's really no longer in the mood for them. "Want one? They always taste better right out the oven. I'll cut it for you."

"Sure." Ryan replies and he moves to get a knife. Maybe the brownies will help to bring back up his mood. Or at least disrupt the one he was currently falling victim too. "Just sit, I'll get everything."

~~~

Ryan sat watching Seth go about getting plates and cutting the hot brownies.

"Middle or corner?" And it takes a minute for Ryan to understand what Seth's asking. He shrugs. "Okay then we'll both get a middle. I just got to cut...this...perfect!"

Ryan sighed looking down at his arm. The skin was still a bit red and the ointment made his skin look like it had a coat of wax or something, but it didn't hurt. Actually Ryan had been right when he told Seth that he'd be fine, that he'd had worse. By the time Seth had come back with the burn cream it didn't hurt that much anymore. A stinging sensation he could deal to ignore. He didn’t even feel he needed the cream. But when those brown eyes pleaded with him, how could he say no? It didn't even occur to him that he should take the tube and apply it himself. So when Seth's warm fingers touched him he wasn't surprised.

He was however, surprised at how long Seth was taking to apply it. He could see that the irritation was already covered, the cream dispersed into his skin. But he couldn't tell Seth to stop touching him, didn't want to. And he really didn't mean to say that it felt good, he had only just been thinking it. And when Seth looked up dark curls falling over his eyes, those intense brown eyes that met Ryan's own. And his bottom lip protruded just so, as if asking Ryan to take it between his, those few inches taunting him to close. And it would have been so wonderful, a perfect moment as his lips met Seth's and-What was he thinking?! That would have ruined everything. He could say goodbye to the good life because he'd be out the door. And that was excatly why he had to break it. His mind probably just created the moment anyway. Seth was in love with Summer.

Hell he even came home the other night talking about how great that girl Anna was. So why did Seth look so disappointed? No! No, this was not right. He was just imagining all of it. His mind was creating it to torture him. Fuck was it doing a good job too.

Seth sat down at the table next to him placing a plate with a large gooey brownie in front of him. "Eat up."

Ryan looked down at it. He had remembered how great the brownie mix was, a nice memory, silver lining, but he couldn't ever remember eating them like this. He could only recall hard and slightly burnt ones and disappointment. And now he knew what was wrong with his happy memory, the part following. Probably a fight or drunk bickering, which would lead to overly cooked brownies that tasted nothing like their liquid counterpart.

"They're so good. Go ahead, they won't kill you." Seth says happily picking at his own.

Ryan looked at them critically. "You sure?"

"I've been eating them like this for years and I'm still alive." The gooey mass coated Seth's fingers and that skilled pink tongue darted out to meet it.

Ryan shifted in his chair. Why did the boy have to make such an innocent thing so damn sexual. Now Ryan wouldn't ever be able to think brownies without associating them with the brunette. And the thing is, it was Seth's innocence that made him so hot. The fact that he wasn't aware of just how sexual the act was that made Ryan want him. He picked at his own brownie and the sweet fudge coated his tongue and then he knew why Seth was enjoying himself. He wasn't sure he'd ever tasted anything better.

And then he thought about Seth, and how the boy might taste. Probably all sweetness and light, innocence and submission. And that thought wasn't leading anywhere safe. "You're right, these are great."

"Told you." Seth said smiling brightly and Ryan had to look away because he was already in a bad mindset. He concentrated on his own brownie and when he finished and finally looked up Seth was watching him. The brown eyes quickly looked away and...was that a blush? No, couldn't be. It was his damn imagination working against him again. "I'll clean up."

"No that’s okay. I'll get it." Seth took his plate before he could object and placed them both in the sink. He took his time cleaning them and it gave Ryan time to wonder over why Seth was suddenly so quite.

"It wasn't your fault." he said, taking a shot at the possible reason.

"Yes it was. If I didn't come into the kitchen you wouldn't have gotten it."

Okay, good shot. "Can't say that, besides I don't even feel it anymore."

"But you still got hurt."

"And now I'm better. You made sure I'd be fine and that cream worked wonders."

Seth scoffed drying off the plates. Ryan got up, walking over to him. "I'm fine." he said strongly, placing a hand on Seth's shoulder.

The boy looked at him and nodded. "So what now? Movie? TV? Or you know if you wanna be alone that’s okay too. Cause I know-"

"Movie's cool." Ryan said shrugging. Anything that would get Seth out of this mood would be great. Ryan hated when Seth looked unhappy. It was just not something that fit. Besides, an unhappy Seth made a delicious pout, with downcast eyes and disheveled hair and there goes the 'Get Kicked Out' thoughts again.

"Any specifics?"

"Not really."

"Okay." And he followed Seth back into the living room.

~~~

Seth mentally hit himself. He couldn't believe he had hurt Ryan. Even if it wasn't intentional he couldn't help but blame himself. If he hadn't followed him into the kitchen Ryan would be fine. He looked over the movies motioning for Ryan to come and look. "We got a ton. Mom's chick flicks, action, comedy, horror, drama."

Ryan pulled out a DvD case. "What's this?"

Seth glanced over. "Oh, um, that’s one of Mom's."

"Stand by me? What's it about?"

"A group of friends. Nothing big." And there he went with the lying again. Because it used to be one of his favorite movies. Cuddling up in front of the TV with his mom and a cup of something far to sugar and milk filled to be called Tea. A movie he could never relate too but always use to always love getting lost in. Dreaming about what it would be like to have a best friend like, River Phoenix's, Character Chris Chambers. Casting himself as the awkward Gordie Lachance, except without the loss of a brother.

And now that he thinks of it he kinda does have a Chris Chambers. Ryan totally fits the part, the white tee's and the bad boy act, "You could totally be Chris."

Ryan looks at him quizzically, "Who?"

Seth drops his gaze not believing he said that out loud. "Oh, um, Chris Chambers." He pointed at one of the boys on the cover.

Ryan read the back. "Cool. Can we watch it?"

Seth swallowed taking it. "Sure." Why, oh, why did Ryan have to pick *this* one? He inserted it into the DvD player and it wasn't until he went to sit back down that he realized they were still in their swimming shorts. "You wanna change first?" And he knew that *he* at least probably should because if he ended up anything like before the pool he was sure to be in trouble. Ryan was sprawled out on one side of the couch looking far too relaxed and content. "Nah, I'm fine. Already dry. You can if you want though."

"No, I'm cool too." He took a spot on the other side of the couch starting the movie and tried not to let his gaze drift back to Ryan. It was bad enough he was staring while Ryan was eating that brownie. But Ryan had looked so happy, so unguarded, he couldn't help it. And now Ryan looked even better with the glow of the sun reaching in through the windows and glass door, those soft blue eyes concentrating on the movie. Right. The movie. "That’s Chris." He pointed out when the kid appeared on screen.

Ryan just smirked. It looked like he was enjoying himself and Seth fell back into the newly and rapidly growing obsession of watching him. As more of the movie played out he found Ryan and himself getting more comfortable on the small couch, legs touching, bodies relaxing. Ryan looked over at Seth and he quickly looked away. "Guess that'd make you Gordie."

"You think so?" Seth asked. "Never thought of it before," he lied. Ryan just gave him a look like he knew better. And how did Ryan do that? How was he able to convey everything into a look, letting you know what he was saying without actually having to use any words. It confounded and amazed him how everyone could just understand, how everyone just backed off.

Watching Ryan watch the movie was a totally new experience for Seth and he found he enjoyed it more then the actual movie. When certain parts came on Ryan would look over at him and he felt as if the boy were trying to tell him something. But he was probably just imagining it. When Chris broke down to Gordie about the milk money incident Seth could feel Ryan's eyes on him. And when he looked it was as though Ryan were trying to tell him 'It's true you know'. He wanted to say something but couldn't come up with any words that fit. He just put a hand on Ryan's leg trying to give some kind of comfort, and he felt he knew what Gordie must have felt then. Unsure of what would help, or even if anything could.

Watching the movie with Ryan must have been messing with his mind or something because he started to think that there might have been something between, Chris and Gordie. And not a feeling of brotherhood and belonging like he used to think but something more intense. Some kind of unmentioned, unspoken of feelings, something he thought he might feel for Ryan.

And towards the end when Gordie began crying over his brother's death and his feelings of worthlessness, a part that had always hit Seth pretty hard, he felt it more intense then ever. He sniffed, blinking his eyes to curb away the feeling to cry. He hadn't done that for a long time. Gotten rid of that weakness a while ago, when doing so got you more of a beating then just taking what came at you.

Ryan looked at him and slightly jerked his head calling Seth over. He was hesitant at first but Ryan sat up patting the area beside him. Seth slid over and Ryan put an arm around him, brotherly ruffling his hair. He smiled when Ryan's arm stayed rested around his shoulders. Ryan laughed at the break of tension in the movie and Seth could feel the vibrations as if they were his own.

Listening to the end narration Seth looked over at Ryan and again his gaze fell into that of deep blue. Moment seemingly repeated from before. And if they're moving he can't tell because all he can feel is heat and all he and hear is the thrumming of his heart in his head and-

The house bell shrills, breaking the moment. They shoot apart as if they were two magnets of the same charge. "I'll get it." Ryan says walking away before Seth even has time to realize what happened. And there is that sinking feeling again. Taking up the space inside his chest, crushing his heart and lungs in a deadly grip. And could this day really get any worse?

"Uh, Hey, Marissa."

~~~

Ryan couldn't tell if he was more relieved or annoyed to see her. What had just happened in the living room, if it even happened, unnerved him. He couldn't have actually been thinking about kissing Seth. It was wrong in all accounts. And had he imagined it or had Seth actually been following along on that possibility. No, he had to have just been imagining that.

"Look, I, I just wanted to apologize for last night." Marissa said looking up at him.

"It's cool." he replied. And in a sense it was. He really didn't want to talk about it any more, didn't want to think of it. What had happened, happened and no amount of wishing could change that. The funny thing being, he didn't even feel the urge to wish it had happened any different. Well last night he had, but he had pushed that far back into his mind by now.

"No...it's not. It's just that, with everything that was going on, my mom, Luke, my dad...you, I just-" She was playing with her hands and looked extremely uncomfortable.

"It's fine. Really." She looked up at him with hopeful eyes and a soft smile which he found himself comparing to Seth's. "Why don't you, you wanna come in?" He asked stepping to the side. He wasn't sure if he was inviting her in for her sake or his. In attempts to try and save this, whatever it was between them, or to have her provide the needed distance between him and Seth. He couldn't fuck up what he had here and whatever had been happing today wasn't leading in any safe direction. The feelings that he had for Seth, the urges he had almost went through with today, they all leaded in the direction for Trouble. And he had promised himself he wouldn't screw this up, not for himself and not for the Cohen's.

She nodded looking at him through downcast eyes and walking into the foyer. "So, uh, what's up?" she asked following him.

"Just hanging out." he replied leading her in the direction of the living room. When he got there Seth was getting ready to play a videogame. He smiled up at her, "Hey."

"Hey." she replied taking a seat on the couch. Ryan was torn between taking a seat next to Marissa where he felt he should go, and taking a seat on the floor next to Seth where he *wanted* to go. He decided it would be safer to sit on the couch but avoided sitting right next to her.

"Ready man?" Seth asked smiling and handing him a controller.

"Ah, yea." He replied taking it.

They were all pretty quiet, either not having anything to say or not knowing what to say. Except of course for Seth's play by play and normal taunting jibes. In the end Seth won and it wasn't because of his great skill at the game. He had happened to pick one of the games Ryan was actually better at, but Ryan hadn't been able to really get into it. It was as if the air was thick and he felt as though he were suffocating. It didn't help that he was sitting next to Marissa in a little less then nothing after almost kissing his new brother.

"Oh, Ryan, what happened?" Marissa gasped taking his arm in her hands. Such soft, delicate hands that held him as though he were too heavy a weight. Ryan looked down at the shiny red patch on his arm.

"Just a little burn. It's nothing." He felt small fingers ghosting over his skin.

"Did you put something on it?"

"Yeah, it's takin care of." his eyes locked with Seth trying to reassure the boy that it hadn't been his fault. Marissa threaded her fingers through his and he gave them a small squeeze. Seth turned back to the game. "I'm gonna go get dressed." Ryan announced standing and walking towards the pool house. "I'll be right back."

When he was alone he took a deep breath falling onto his back on his bed. Thinking on it now, inviting Marissa in had been an extremely bad idea. He could tell she wanted to talk about 'them' but he wasn't sure he could. With everything that had happened since he arrived in Orange County, the fights and arguments he got into just talking to her, he wasn't sure if it was really a good idea to even try to get involved with her. Couldn't figure out if he felt she was worth the trouble. He grabbed some clothes and moved into the bathroom to change.

He took a while to come out not wanting to face what was outside but when he did finally emerge he found Marissa sitting on his bed. He really didn't want to have to deal with this but felt it were now or never, and though he preferred never he knew he wouldn't be able to weddle his way out of this one.



Onward to Parts 13-18