When he was kicked out of his house he tried not to call Sandy. But everyone else was useless he had no other choice.
On the drive to Sandy's he tried to pretend like he didn't want to go home with him. Tried to cover the bulge in his pants.
When Sandy introduced Ryan to Kirsten he tried to act respectful instead of jealous. And when they left the beach house it took all his will to keep his mouth shut and not call out to the man.
When he met Seth he couldn't help but notice how the boy didn't really look like his father. Couldn't help the animosity he felt towards him. Seth was able to be with Sandy all the time.
Ryan was sure Seth was Sandy's little boy. Got everything he wanted. He couldn't help but be surprised with Seth's response to Sandy after mentioning the fashion show.
Couldn't help but notice the slight pain in Sandy's eyes after Seth walked away. Couldn't help but notice the longing eyes that followed Seth's retreat.
And at the fashion show he tried not to stare at the way Sandy stared at his son. Tried not to see the passion in those dark eyes when Sandy asked him to watch out for Seth.
Tried to ignore the pain in being rejected. Tried to ignore who he had been rejected for. The man he wanted tortured daily by the one forbidden thing he wanted most. He could understand that. Wanting something he couldn't have.
During the party he couldn't help but watch the boy. Couldn't help but notice the same longing eyes, a mirror image of his father's, set on him.
Couldn't help but hear the pain in Seth's voice when he caught Summer all over Ryan. Couldn't help but see the passion in those sweet depths as he striped himself of his shirt and jacket.
So when Seth first hugged him he couldn't help but feel sorry for the family. The family he had gotten pulled into. One where it seemed you could never have what you wanted. Forbidden desires hidden behind wide eyes and fake smiles.