Seth had obsessed over Summer for so long that he was addicted. She was all he thought about and all he ever talked about. Even if he never talked to anyone but himself.
So when Ryan showed up Seth didn't realize why he wanted the boy to stay so badly.
He figured it was just because Ryan was cool, someone who noticed him, didn't make fun of him. A friend. He despised his mother for treating Ryan so harshly. Ryan wasn't bad he was just misunderstood.
He didn't think that he would rejoice so much when his mom pulled Ryan out of jail. He didn't understand what he was feeling towards the boy.
Oh but he understood what he felt for Ryan's mom. He hated her. How could a mother just abandon her son like that and then come back and expect everything to be just fine.
What he hated more was the way Ryan just took her back. He felt such jealousy when Ryan and his mom went out for a walk. And he had the urge to hit her whenever she looked at Ryan.
And when she embarrassed him in front of everyone at the stupid affair. Seth hated her even more.
He couldn't place his feelings for Ryan though. He hadn't seen him much at the gambling fiasco. He was too busy being Summer's Lucky Rabbit's foot. Not that he had cared. Summer was a stable obsession he had never given up on. Something he knew how he felt about. But all night he couldn't get Ryan out of his mind.
And on the ride home Ryan wouldn't look or even talk to him.
And then next morning when his mother finally said what he had been waiting so long to hear, finally let Ryan stay, he was ecstatic.
He pulled Ryan out of the kitchen to talk. He finally had the chance to be alone with him to tell him about last night.
Ryan listened smiling, glowing, finally looking happy and Seth rambled. But when Ryan's leg fell against his and their hands touched something electric ran through Seth's body. Something he had never felt for anyone or any season.
~~~
Winter. The season of ice and sub-zero temperatures. Ryan had always had an obsession with it. It was a time he felt he could relate too. Something that no one really liked. People hid from the cold, he embraced it. It never really got cold in California, but in the winter if you stood in the water you could feel it.
Ryan had never really felt love. Had never really been happy. There was nothing for him in his old life. He had hated waking up each morning and had hoped that he would die when he feel asleep at night.
Ryan always felt like it was winter. He always felt cold inside empty, numb. So when Sandy brought him home and he met Seth he wasn't sure how he felt about the boy. Seth made life bearable. Made living warm and meaningful.
He figured it was just because Seth was like a puppy. Affectionate, playful, full of life. He was a true friend. Which is something he had never really had before.
So when he got hoisted off to jail again he couldn't understand why he wanted to go back to the Cohen's.
But when Seth and Kirsten visited him and Kirsten brought him back to their house Ryan couldn't help but rejoice. He knew he couldn't stay. Knew Kirsten didn't want him. Knew she was just not the type to sit back and watch him be hurt. But he couldn't help but be happy that he was near Seth.
And then when Kirsten promised trips out together he was actually excited to possibly spend time with the woman. When his mother showed he didn't know what to do. What to say.
She had abandoned him. Did she just expect everything to be alright? He told her they should just take it slow. And when they went walking it had actually been nice, normal.
He knew he shouldn't have let himself be blinded by the possibility of change but he was. And he felt beaten, broken when she yelled at him from the floor of the hall.
He knew this would happen. He tried to deny it but he knew. He couldn't bear to look at or talk to Seth on the way home. He was to ashamed.
The next morning he was mad at himself for feeling so surprised to see his mother missing. Mad at her for leaving again. When he walked out of the beach house and saw her there he didn't know what to say. He didn't want her to go. But he didn't want her to stay either.
She waved. He waved back. That was the kind of relationship they had. He loved her, she loved him. But they both understood it couldn't work.
When they walked into the kitchen and Kirsten announced that he would be staying he was ecstatic.
Seth grabbed him and pulled him to sit on a couch. He began to ramble about Summer and everything that happened last night and Ryan couldn't help but smile. Finally he had a place to belong, a home, a family. Finally he would be able to stay with Seth.
When his leg fell against Seth's and their hands touched something electric ran through him. Something he had never felt for anyone or any season.
~~~
Luke was never one to think about the weather. He hated the heat, hated the cold, hated the wind, hated the rain. But he dealt with it like he dealt with life. It was just something you had to go through. It sucked and that was how it was. You couldn't change it.
Marissa was nice, comfortable, safe. People didn't ask questions if you were in a relationship. They thought you could care for each other. Assumed you were fine. They were not only stupid they were wrong.
When Luke saw Ryan for the first time he saw a challenge. He wanted to fight with him. Wanted the truth, the harshness he knew would be there. Wanted the physical aspects of it all.
When he got sent to jail with Ryan he actually felt kind of bad for the guy but he couldn't place why. Ryan was an obsession. He couldn't get the stupid trailer trash off his mind.
And at the stupid charity affair he couldn't help looking at the guy. Luke recognized the look on Ryan's face. He had felt that broken, lost look on his own at times.
When Ryan told Luke that Marissa had chosen him that he had won he couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling. If Marissa chose him that meant that Ryan wouldn't have a reason to fight with him anymore. There would be no excuse for quarrels with the boy.
Luke needed Ryan's attention but he couldn't place why. When Ryan's arm brushed against his own as Ryan pushed him away from his mother an electric jolt ran through Luke's body.
It was something he had never felt for Marissa or anyone. Not even any stupid season.