slr_europa@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa/
AIM :: ropachan
*******************************************
Need Me, Chapter 9
by Sailor Europa
My feet were weary after the trek across the town and I knew that my body, soul
and spirit were bedraggled from everything else that had happened in the last 24 hours. I
made the painful journey back to the familiar complex and involuntarily took shallow
breaths as I ascended in the elevator. I had a suitcase in the hall closet that would fit most
of the clothing I had left. I could come back after things were final and pick up the last of
my meager belongings.
My hands shook and my eyes watered as I inserted the key. The door gave a
signature creak as I stepped inside. I could smell him here. I fumbled for the light switch,
then shielded my eyes from the unfamiliar glare of fluorescent bulbs. When my sight
adjusted after a moment, I gasped at what surrounded me.
The entire place look ransacked and in a shambles. I had kept a clean house while
under this roof, and in my absence, Mamoru had let it all go to hell. Cold coffee sat on
the counter; dirty, crusty mugs and plates were piled high in the sink; a bread bag was left
open and two slices were left hardening on the stove. The sitting room was an
improvement, with only a stray blanket and pillow draped over the couch, and two half-
filled mugs on the end tables on either side. Mamoru had spent the previous nights
sleeping out here, I mused sadly. He'd always hated that the few times I'd gotten so upset
I kicked him out of the bedroom. The only thing peculiar to me in the room was his desk
and study. That morning after I'd stayed with Ami and come home with him nowhere to
be found… I'd written my note and left it lying in the center, but not before I'd taken the
liberty of straightening up the mess he always left. Not a modicum had changed since
then; it was all in place.
More tears, more sobs, more regret overwhelmed me. My mind plodded on,
urging me to carry out my plan without hesitation. I couldn't stop to think about what I
was leaving behind – I already knew that it wasn't much, nor was it anything I knew he
couldn't handle on his own. He'd been living the life of a bachelor for months already; I
was merely making it official.
Falling apart was not an option, I told myself mutely. Not now. Pain is inevitable,
and you will get through it like every other woman who ever filed for divorce. My heart
constricted tenderly, begging me to answer its questions. Questions as to why I felt so
alone, so helpless, so desperate. Surely I realized that only one thing could ever really
make it well again, my heart tried to reason with me. But my rationale screamed from the
depths of my gut that the time for waiting was over. I had done my best, and now I had to
admit defeat.
But I'd been defeated a number of times in my life, and I couldn't remember it
ever feeling this awful.
Shaking my head I attempted to clear the cobwebs that clogged my skull. I busied
my hands with retrieving my suitcase and opening up the closet near the bathroom. I
emptied that, not bothering to fold anything as I threw things haphazardly into its open
flap. Everything fit, I mused. Must be fate.
From there I opened up my two drawers in the dresser and added my underwear
and socks to the mess. Wiping a few rebellious tears that refused to stay put, I quickly
pulled the zipper shut. Would I need my make-up, I wondered? Perhaps I should just
clean the place out, that way I wouldn't have to come back for anything.
Nodding, I pulled my shoulders back and reached under the bed until I found the
Tupperware storage box and found our photo albums. Sitting down next to it I yanked the
top off and pulled out the first one. A goofy shot of Naru and I giving the 'victory' sign at
Crown was on the front flap, and I smiled sadly. I wondered how she was doing all these
years later. She and Umino had attended college up North together. Had they gotten
married, I wondered? She didn't RSVP our wedding invite, but I'd had to send that to her
old address. Maybe she never got it.
Flipping through the book, my heart squeezed as I relived each memory with
painful detail. In it were shots of my old life – the one long before Sailor Moon entered
the picture. There were Sailor V themed birthday parties, karaoke, swinging at the park
with Umino… It seemed so long ago. With the ending of my marriage, so ended the
future I'd been foretold to have. Would it be possible to go back to the girl smiling freely
in the pictures? Without Mamoru, the past 7 years seemed pointless, as if I was working
towards a goal that I knew I wouldn't achieve.
Sniffling, I set that book aside and pulled out the next one. It was larger and this
time the cover was handmade with several shots covering it. I smiled, feeling nostalgic;
High School with the senshi. Various group pictures were scattered on the front face.
Inside showed a whole different group of people; Haruka and Michiru; Hotaru and
Setsuna; Luna, Artemis and Diana. Scenes from the temple, Setsuna's apartment, the
park… Even though the surroundings had changed, I was still the same. I had to laugh at
how unserious I seemed in all of the photos. I turned the page and frowned; well, almost
all of them…
The last page had what used to be my favorite: Mamoru and I at the dock with an
amazing Tokyo sunset behind us. For once, my expression was serene and peaceful;
mature, even. My head was on his shoulder, his arm tightly around my waist. It was the
very picture of simplicity and that described how my life seemed back then – simple.
Despite failing tests and struggling to graduate, I could always fall back on the idea that
my future was set and that made every day blissfully uncomplicated.
I swallowed, feeling it harder and harder to keep the pain at bay. The last album I
couldn't even bear to open; our wedding. It only took me a split second to decide to leave
that one here. I certainly didn't want the reminder of all I'd lost. Let Mamoru find it one
day, long after this ordeal was a closed case, and let him wonder where it'd all gone to
hell. Let him be the one to hurt for once.
"You have to stop this, Usagi." I mumbled, rubbing my weary eyes. "Are you a
masochist? You're only making it harder on yourself…."
With a tired sigh I stood up and tossed the two albums onto the top of the closed
suitcase. A few knick-knacks lined the dresser top and bookcases, but I left them. A small
glint of light caught my eye and I watched the sun peak out from behind the horizon from
the window across the room. It was morning.
"How appropriate." I whispered, too afraid to fill the vacant room with my voice.
"A new day dawning."
*****
I drug my luggage through the hall, my heart heavier than the baggage in my
hand. I paused momentarily, staring at the linen closet, suddenly overwhelmed with
foolishness. My brooch; I had to have it.
I'd hidden all my items from any prying eyes that might come over for a business
dinner or a holiday party in that linen closet, wrapped in a silk hankie and tucked neatly
towards the back. My communicator, the Luna Pen and my brooch hadn't been used or
even touch in years. Since Galaxia was defeated, I believed I wouldn't need them for a
great while, and thus stored them.
Those few articles made me hesitate more than anything else. It was to them that
Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity (and eventually Neo Queen Serenity) were tied.
Destiny was encased within the brooch. I wondered; if I severed myself from that fate,
what did that mean for the ginzuishou? Could I rightfully call it my own any longer? Was
my future still set to be Queen?
The door to the closet opened silently and I fumbled through the piles of towels
and sheets until I felt it. Holding my breath, I pulled it into the light.
I inhaled. It looked like new. Years of battles and beatings had done nothing to
mar its immaculate surface. I pursed my lips together; I felt unworthy of it now. With
shaking hands I ran my fingers over it. It was warm, and a familiar feeling of power
washed over me. I was so entranced, spellbound by the symbol of my very being, that the
faint scrapes coming from the front door were brushed aside in my consciousness. But
then the door slammed shut, and my heart stopped.
Mamoru was home.
My heart slammed so hard against my ribcage that I was afraid he would hear it. I
hadn't even thought he might be home, and now I berated myself mentally. Of course he
would return! He lived here, and with me gone from the hospital, there was almost no
reason for him to stay behind. My mind frantically searched for options and I shrank back
farther into the dim light of the hallway. Inhaling deeply, I reminded myself about his
work. He would be leaving soon…. Maybe he'd only stopped in long enough to grab
some papers, even….
But as soon as he stepped into view, I knew that wasn't the case.
He was hunched over, movements slow and weary, and he only made it as far as
the couch. I was close enough to hear his feet dragging on the carpet and I watched the
back of his head as he dropped like dead weight into the plush cushions.
He put his head in his hands and he didn't move for minutes on end. I waited,
with baited breath, my mind screaming at me not to make a sound. I didn't want to face
him; I hadn't a thing to say to him anymore. I just watched him in enthralled silence,
almost mesmerized by the fact that he thought he was alone. This was a glimpse into
Mamoru I never thought I'd have.
As my thoughts raced through my options, I was suddenly aware of sounds. Eyes
glued to the thick head of raven hair a few hundred feet in front of me unaware of my
presence, my breathing stopped as I attempted to place the low, sporadic sound. It was
stunted and short, like someone was choking…. The dark recesses of my brain were
clicking into place, but logic and common sense resisted the realization until the last
possible second. And then, I couldn't deny it anymore.
He was crying.
My every thought and hesitation that had been controlling me the past few weeks
went into overdrive. I'd stayed away as long as possible to avoid losing that hardness I'd
developed – the one that told me he would be better off alone. It was a broken record that
wore on my spirit like a wet blanket, lying to me, doing its best to convince me that
nothing could make it better. The little whispers, the voices in the back of my head, all
sang songs of a bitter and inevitable defeat. I truly believed that I had to pick up the
pieces and end it now if I wanted to save myself a more humiliating failure.
I'd been telling myself all along that it was for the best, that he wanted it this way.
Freedom would come - freedom from pain, from loneliness. But as reality sank in and I
listened to his soft sobs of remorse, liberty dissipated silently. The chains were growing
heavier with each second that ticked by and I realized that it was a cruel, twisted,
backwards game that had been played on both of us. I had been groping my way through
this maze blindly, assuming that I was working towards a goal – an outlet – that didn't
exist. The fog inside that had been clouding my judgment was lifting. In a labyrinth with
no way out, I realized that the only way to escape is to turn around and go the route you
came in. I'd gotten myself into this mess; now I had to get myself out.
I swallowed, my eyes trained on his every move. 'What do I do?' I asked myself.
Could I really just take back the past few weeks as if they were nothing? Would he even
forgive me for all I'd put him through? And that just begged the question as to whether I
could forgive him, for he'd put me through so much more and for so much longer. I
wanted him – ached for him – but even the pit inside me that was flaring up with desire
couldn't burn away the memory of the past year and a half. I missed him, but there was
nothing aside from a few sorrowful tears and an unkempt home to make me believe he
wanted to change.
'God, please help me…' The knot in my throat made breathing hard, but I willed
the sobs to stay silent. I still didn't cry. I was beyond the point of grief and as I grasped at
a tangible emotion, I found only confusion. 'I don't know what to do anymore. I've made
huge, horrible mistakes and I'm afraid that it's too late to fix them….' My heart was
asking for relief; I didn't think it would be able to take anymore of this. 'I don't know
what to do….'
The muffled tears stopped and his head shot up so suddenly, as if on cue, that I
wondered if I hadn't mumbled the words aloud in my stupor. But he just shook his head
and wiped his face raggedly before he picked up a small gold frame that was set on the
coffee table, just across from where his head would lay at night. It was our wedding
photo, I marveled, as he stared without movement. The jilted part of me was wondering
how I was going to get out of here for brief moments at a time, but oddly, that wasn't my
chief concern. I had been there so long already, that a small idea niggled, speculating that
maybe inside this apartment I really was invisible. Maybe that was why he ignored me
for so long before I left. Maybe even if I did try to mend the past, it wouldn't even matter,
for he couldn't sense my presence anyway. I swallowed, attempting to loosen the lump in
my throat.
"Gomen nasai, Usako…. Gomen nasai…"
My mind processed the words immediately and my heart clung to them. A part of
me answered silently, without the consent of my common sense. 'Mamoru…'
It wasn't until his crying ceased and his body stilled that I realized the words had
come from my mouth and had not just been repeated in my head. It had been barely
above a whisper, but he heard it. My heart beat wildly and I questioned whether I had
subconsciously planned it that way. A part of me wanted to be seen.
There was a beat as he apparently brushed it aside and I exhaled silently, my heart
feeling let down. It was fighting a battle against my common sense, but for once, neither
side appeared to be winning and all that resulted was more confusion; more questions. I
silently pleaded with whatever higher power was listening for guidance or a sign or
anything that might help me figure out how to feel. I felt psychotic.
And one must have taken pity on me, because in a swift motion, Mamoru set the
frame gently back down and stood. And after pausing to inhale and collect his
composure, he turned around.
It all happened in slow motion and then everything went to hell.
"Usako..." He mumbled nervously. Standing in one spot, hardly moving a muscle,
he just stared, dumbfounded and just as unsure of what to do as I was.
"How… how long have you been here?"
My mouth went dry and my lips moved to respond, but the words seemed to dry
up in my throat. I swallowed, amazed at how the lump there seemed to get bigger.
"I just came to get…" I gestured to the bag still in my hand, but found it
impossible to take my eyes off of his. My anger from before was absent. The only thing I
found was silence when I reached for an emotion. It seemed they had decided that it
wasn't worth the trouble. Expending my feelings for something I wasn't even sure I
wanted – it just seemed stupid.
"Oh."
I thought about his tears and cries from just a few moments before, and how the
only remnants of them now were red eyes and a few stains on his shirt. He was tense and
had his face pulled taught with uncertainty. He shifted his gaze from his hands to his feet
awkwardly and I realized that he was afraid; my heart squeezed harder, chiding me. I had
managed to overpower a man who had saved my life more times than I could remember,
a man who towered over me physically. The irony was almost embarrassing.
Silence filled the small apartment, suffocating the two occupants, until he finally
spoke up.
"Usagi, I know you don't want to talk about it and…" He fumbled for the next
words, avoiding my eyes. "And I know your mind is made up, but I've been trying to
take everything in these past few weeks and it just…" Mamoru stopped, hesitating on his
words. "It's just not… sinking in."
"Mamoru…." I started, almost relieved as tears flowed freely down my cheeks at
the sound of his broken, strained voice.
"If this is something you need, then…" He gasped for air, almost choking as he
plodded clumsily through the words. "Then I'm not going to stand in your way. But
please… Oh God, please, Usako, just tell me why." His blue eyes overflowed then as he
finally looked up to meet my own and I couldn't have even imagined the pain I felt as my
heart shatter. The numbness that had masked itself under that name was a small fraction
of what I felt watching him now. He was a shell of his former self, pleading as if his life
depended on it. His form was pathetic. The desire to be loved was overshadowed now by
my need just to restore him to the man I'd known before.
"Usako, I'm just not that strong. I feel like a robot these days. After all we've
been through, the least you can give me is an explanation. I can't lose you without
hearing from your own mouth the truth."
"I'm so sorry Mamoru." Were all the only words I could find deep within me. I
didn't even cry. I could only muster a small, strained sentence - hardly even worth the
effort. Reality hung above us like a black cloud, just waiting to drop like a vulture on the
two of us. There were a few seconds where Mamoru seemed to wait for a more coherent,
thoughtful reply. He blinked as he realized he wasn't going to get one, and gave an
understanding nod as he ducked his head, deflated. Even the pain and determined anguish
was erased and he shuffled his feet, suddenly very embarrassed at his request being shot
down.
"So then… I guess this is it."
Nothing had been harder to hear than that half-hearted, vague phrase coming from
his lips. It was his way of stepping back and letting me go. He was no longer going to
attempt to stand in the way. Something in the back of my mind was searching frantically
for a reason to stay; a reason to even say anything. I wanted to explain myself and I
wanted him to apologize and say everything would be different.
But, I realized, that there was the small matter of my pride. I had been salvaging
it, play-acting like it was wounded and tiny and shrinking out of the spotlight like a
wallflower. But it was bellowing now that it was not going to give in and go crawling
back. In reality, it seemed, my pride and arrogance was what was keeping me from
backing out. To admit I was wrong and had made a mistake was unthinkable, and even
though the pain ripped through my soul until it tore it to shreds as I stood there,
motionless, wordless, it was not going to let me just give up. It had fought too hard, it
reasoned, for me to cast it aside. And all I would have to show for my efforts would be a
pointless attorney's bill and the shame of knowing I'd caved. Exhaustion, pain and need
all pleaded to be heard, but pride was too self-serving to listen.
I tried to answer Mamoru, but only nodded my head dumbly, still staring at him.
Without another word, the life was sucked out of him and he collapsed onto the couch, a
broken and bruised man. Pride swelled with itself and it alone carried me to the door, for
I'm sure that my nonexistent strength couldn't have managed it. My bag was clutched
tightly in my hand – I was half afraid I might just casually drop it along the way, and the
weight would be symbolically dropped as well. I wordlessly turned the knob and before
stepping out into the cold, empty hallway, I paused and pivoted to take in what I was
leaving behind. The tiny, lived-in apartment was being bid a dismal and pathetic farewell.
We hadn't even been here long enough to make it our own. Nothing shouted our
ownership to any who entered. The marriage that took place inside seemed very similar, I
thought cautiously. It hadn't even been broken in. It was like a pair of shoes that only get
worn once or twice out of the box but are quickly forgotten, for you get too busy to polish
and mend their soles like you should. Usagi and Mamoru were worn out and untended,
and now they were being cast out for something better to take their place.
'I'm never going to love anyone else like I love him.'
The door clicked behind me softly and I swallowed. My chest heaved with
unspoken sobs, the kind that come in waves until they finally wash over your entire body,
enveloping you like a blanket. My mind was numb and unthinking, but my heart didn't
need to be told what to do – it was on autopilot and it took over before I'd even made it 3
steps. I tried to keep going, but before I was even aware, I had dropped my bag and
covered my face with both my hands and let the tears just overcome me.
I cried like a child right in the middle of the hall for a good 15 minutes.
"When in God's name did I let this happen? Why did I let it happen?" I mumbled
to myself as I peered through the cracks in my fingers. I was sitting against the adjacent
wall just a few feet from where the Chiba residence stood, sobbing uncontrollably, as if
someone had just died. I shivered and hiccupped and then pulled my arms around myself,
glancing around, wondering if anyone had seen my pathetic, noisy display. I knew I
would have to find a way to continue on, but the thought just made my head throb, so I
laid my forehead against the rough denim material covering my knees. I hugged my legs
to my chest and rocked back and forth, feeling sleepy. I blinked back a few stray tears
and closed my eyes, wondering if I could will unconsciousness….
"…. Usagi."
Like someone had pulled my head back by the hair, my eyes bolted up to find
Mamoru, disheveled and bewildered and in stocking feet staring down at me, no less
confused than I at that moment. The sight caused fresh cries of anguish to rip open the
tender wound, and tears I thought had dried up rolled down my still damp cheeks. My
bottom lip quivered and I could only look away as I sobbed more and more as I thought
about where I was, what I was doing and where I was going.
"Oh Usako..." He whispered into my ear, and I realized that in less than a seconds
time, he had taken two strides to my side and pulled me forcefully to my feet, clutching
my biceps so I was stalk still, paralyzed with fear and disbelief.
I couldn't react although every atom in my body ached to respond. My eyes were
open wide and the tears miraculously decreased as each second ticked by, taking the
merciless sobs with them. Before I could think coherently, the only sound I heard was the
soft, tempered breathing of Mamoru whistling through the stray strands of hair falling
over my ears. He was hunched over me now, massive arms crushing my chest, hanging
on for dear life.
"Oh God, Usako…" He started in a hushed, broken whisper. "Usako, I need you."
The air being sucked into my nostrils at an alarming rate made a shrill sound as I
finally allowed the huge cement beams I'd erected to crumble. Pride fell in bitter defeat
in a sudden, devastating loss to necessity and victory was claimed in a miraculous turn of
the tide.
"Ma…Mamo-chan…." I choked out and his grasp tightened at the sappy pet
name. We both cried on each others shoulder for minutes on end, wanting to engrave the
memory permanently in our minds of the time when our love found its way back where it
belonged. Someday, maybe tomorrow, I would look back and know that this was the way
things were supposed to happen. But I could feel only utter humiliation presently,
ashamed at having put us both through so much.
"Mamo-chan…." I mumbled as he pulled away finally and looked at me with
matching puffy, bloodshot eyes. He let one of his enormous hands cup my cheek and
thumb away the remnants of the tears as I sniffled back the remaining moans. "Take me
home."
*****
I found myself sweating as I blinked wearily suddenly aware just how long I'd
been awake. I'd lain awake for probably a half hour, afraid to open my eyes, afraid that
none of that in the hall had actually taken place. But the sweltering heat under the cotton
sheets and comforter was making me perspire and I peeled away the layers of bedding
before taking a cautious look to my left.
I smiled. He was there. Fast asleep and peaceful as an angel. He had walked me
back through the apartment door after I'd asked him to and we both fell, worn out, into
bed fully clothed. My sweater seemed superfluous now, but I still just stared at him,
mesmerized by how much I'd missed this man. God, but he was stunning; ebony hair
falling carelessly into his eyes; baby blue button down shirt done-up halfway, revealing
just a peak at that exquisite chest.
I found inside me then a pulsing emotion that quickly fired itself without any
internal prompting. I had shared a bed with him for so long before I'd left, but had never
engaged in anything other than sleep for months prior. I was struck as the flames of
sexual desire seemed to pound like I hadn't been aware of before. For so long the
neglected emotional connection was what I dwelled upon, and now I remembered the
other things that accompanied such a union. We'd been celibate for so long it seemed and
the craving for contact was finding a newer, louder voice. The very thing that it needed to
quench the thirst was lying serenely in front of me, silently begging to be used.
Not wanting to wake him before I had a chance to take the feelings in, I slowly
placed a steady hand on his taught stomach, enthralled with the rise and fall that came
with each breath. My grin came easily as my hand slid upwards to find the strong, rapid
thump of his life's blood pumping from the heart. I had to catch my breath, awe-inspired
by his life and just how much it meant to me to be laying where I was. He was next to me
and for the moment that was all that mattered.
My front teeth sunk into my bottom lip in an effort to restrain me as my thoughts
sunk back to the growing fire in my gut. My deft fingers carefully undid each remaining
button, releasing him from the captivity, and I gazed at the fare skin beneath. My head
cocked to the side and I pulled my body closer, running a gentle hand over the lean
abdominal muscles with appreciation. How is it possible I had been able to restrain
myself for so long? I wondered. The only thing keeping me back right then was the
pressing wish to prolong the experience; I felt like an explorer, conquering new land.
Unable to hold back any longer, I leaned over his body and tenderly pressed my
lips into the soft, yielding flesh of his chest. Within a moment, his chest heaved upward
and a full boom of a heart beat resounded. He lay still though, allowing me to simply take
him in, inch by inch, working my way upwards, nipping at skin and tasting him as if I
was a starving beggar at a feast. His pulse raced, but it wasn't until my now eager lips
reached his own that he responded with fever, his tongue flicking next to my own in
quick, heated movements. I found it possible to contain myself and with a passion that
had a mind of its own, I bit down on his lip, tugging at it gently before disappearing
downward to his chin and neck and shoulders again. He gasped, taken aback, and
immediately let his own hands grab me tightly. One massaged the back of my neck,
guiding my willing mouth where ever he wanted it, and the other roved meticulously over
my hips, my thighs, my back, finally resting on the very delicate curve just barely above
the buttocks, pulling my pelvis downward.
I reluctantly pulled away long enough to angrily tug at my restrictive sweater and
at the same time throw a leg over his waste, straddling him before descending onto him
again. He responded in moans and whispers that were only intelligible to the one who
they were intended for, and I deciphered them without thought. Words weren't enough
any longer, and we took action without wasting anymore precious time.
Being the "take action" man that he was, Mamoru only allowed that track to be
traveled for so long before he stole the reigns and took control. Rolling me onto my back,
he gave me the same once-over, tenderly paying attention to each and every centimeter,
caressing and stroking to the point where my skin caved under the sensation and just
shivered in delight. I closed my eyes as he let his own lips trail a path up my rib cage and
I wondered how long this could go on before I might explode. The only sounds I found it
possible to utter were primitive growls and guttural groans and these only prompted him
onward. Arching my back I waited as he paused dramatically, leaving me writing beneath
him, a part of me not wanting to end the game of catch we seemed to be playing, but still
longing to give in to the inevitable pique that would be strong enough to deafen me. His
lips hovered over my neck, and I felt him swallow, eager with the anticipation of
consummating an almost defunct marriage, yet relishing every second. I could feel my
soul almost combust as I wove my fingers through his now-wild hair, and then suddenly
pulled his head closer to mine.
"Mamoru…." I whispered as best I could, still finding it hard to inhale. He
stopped and every pulse reverberated in my mind as he waited with baited breath that
beat down on me with each sigh he uttered. "Mamoru…. Show me how much you need
me…."
**********************************************
You know, I always told myself I would never write a sex-scene, but I think I can come
pretty close, especially after writing some of the scenes from Rouge. I'm a totally
advocate for smut – meaning, romance and maybe a little bit of hinting (or baiting) at the
act – but not porn, which is nothing but sex for the sake of arousing the audience. I often
wondered how someone who waits years for their wedding night and then finds
themselves at the other side of a divorce handles it; the physical part, I mean. I'm
personally one of those who'll be a virgin until she tricks a guy stupid enough into
marrying her. XD So I have to wonder how hard it is to find it such a glorious thing (so
I've heard) only to have it ripped away from you…. And if it's not just "sex", but the
emotional involvement as well, then, well…. It just makes me sad. The whole idea of
divorce makes me sad. :(
And with that happy (and somewhat arousing, I think) end note, the story is FINITO! A
lot more… er, physical than I had originally planned on, but I think it helped add a very
vital and missing piece to this story that I had left out. So I'm happy. I had taken a long 2
week break in the middle of this chapter, in order to find myself in the right frame of
mind, and I'm glad I did. I am very satisfied, and I hope you all are too!
The finale will be posted (hopefully) on December 28th, 2003 – the one year anniversary
of when it was first put on AI. ^^ I am INSANELY proud of this story, and I am so
baffled by how well its been received. Thanks go to all the wonderful people who read
and reviewed – that you would take time out to say something nice or constructive means
a lot to me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
….Review?
slr_europa@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/slr_europa/
AIM :: ropachan
(
geocities.com/slr_europa)