*THE CALL*
Nick: I'm hungry.
AJ: I have an idea. Let's make our first song irreristably catchy and about an egotistical bastard cheating on his girl.
*phone ringing*
Brian: hang on let me take this call. ((speaking into cellphone)) Hey baby... yeah I know baby... we're here for another week. I know. I love you too. Yes baby, I'm sorry baby, uh-huh. I love you. Ok. I'm thinking of you. Find strength in the Lord. Yes, I'm enjoying my stay. No I'm not having too much fun. Ok baby! Bye!
Kevin: *arching eyebrow because we think he would really sexy doing that* Let's make it over a phone call.
AJ: Good idea Kev.
Nick: I'm hungry.
Howie: EAT!
AJ: That can be in the song too.
*GET ANOTHER BOYFRIEND*
Howie: *brightly* Let's give advice to a girl in need!
AJ: No, let's take advantage of a girl in need.
Kevin: *sitting and being sexy*
Brian: What's the girls problem?
Nick: Boyfriend?
AJ: You know about that huh Nicky *cackle*
Brian: I'll throw the idea at Max and Rami.
Nick: Tell them to use that same cool eating line they used in "the call!" That lines awesome we should use it repetitively in our songs!
*SHINING STAR*
Kevin: *while wearing chaps* I found a.... pretty cool song... from..... some people in Sweden... here.
Howie: Cool. Some people in Sweden are very cool. But it can be better. Who'd like to help me make it better and D-ify it.
Nick: Ok.
Howie: Cool! Bye guys! *thumbs up sign*
Nick: Yeah you guys! Out! Now! O-W-T out!!!
*I PROMISE YOU*
Brian: Well, seeing as Kevin and I just got married, I think we should have a love song that has wedding vows in it.
Nick: Cool! Like, In Sickness and In health, baby, I love you, if you're sick or if you're healthy, ooh yea mmmm you're lookin good
Howie: No doofo, he means like, "I Do" or something.
AJ: 98 Degrees already has a song like that. Piece of *bleep* immitation band stole our *bleep* idea before we had a *bleep* *bleep* chance to come up with it *bleeeeeeep*
Brian: ((cute southern accent)) Um, no guys. I was thinking it could be like a vow, until death do us part, you know? It can be like about a relationship thats not just as a lover, but as a friend too.
Howie: Can I sing on this one? Please? Please please???
Nick: oh IIIII get iiiit, like he means, lawfully wedded! In rich and poor, but Brian, like, we're rich, we don't have a problem with that.
Brian: ok Nick thanks.
AJ: Can we sing about the wedding night?????? Or the honeymoon?????
Brian: ok guys why don?t we just hire somebody very cool like Dan Hill to write the song for us. That sounds... easiest. Kevin what do you think
Kevin: I'm wearing chaps. *
*THE ANSWER TO OUR LIFE*
((At this point Kevin is in fact still wearing chaps))
Howie: OK you guys, I think we need to write a song now actually by us. What should it be about?
Nick: *bewildered and flabbergasted* a song by US? But Howie... we've never done that... I don't get it.
Kevin: No..... I'm....
Howie: It won't be too hard Nick you just sit and look pretty.
Kevin: feeling..... you....
Brian: We should start with a catchy upbeat melody.
Kevin: man.
Howie: thanks Kevy.
AJ: Catchy and upbeat tune about sex?
Nick: I still don't get it. A
AJ: It's simple Nick. We're going to write about the birds and the bees. Everyone agreed?
Brian: *whipping out Bible* NO AJ... that's wrong... there are sacred young children of our future that will be listening to our cd... may the good LORD save your soul Alex...
Nick: Can some one explain to me what the HELL WE?RE DOING
Brian: When we figure that out we'll have the answer to life.
Howie and Kevin and Brian together : THATS IT!
Nick: Whats it??? Guys??? Guys, what?s it??? Give me a sign! Show me a reason! When will I find out?
Kevin: Nick... you're a ... genious.
AJ: *Snickers*
Brian: Kevin's right. That could work. ((sings ?Show me a reason, Give me a sign, When will we find.....))
AJ: ((chiming in)) the answer to our liiiiives...
Howie: Well we can work with it, but its good guys, really good. *gives thumbs up sign of approval* Can I sing in this one?
AJ: Maybe the next one D.
Howie: Yesssssss
*EVERYONE*
Brian: Our fans are so cool. We are truly blessed. Hallelujah Lord!
AJ: We should write another thank you song to them, so that they can be overwhelmed with pride and be so honored and grateful to us they start to cry because we are such great guys.
Kevin: ((becoming teary-eyed)) We are so ... nice.
Howie: *thumbs up* great idea AJ.
Nick: I like the fans. They're always screaming for me.
Brian: We should make it personal and like describe our situation and what it's like performing for them, how much all of them mean to us, etc. Just real in depth and personal, from us to them.
AJ: Right. Let's get Kristian and Andreas to write it.
*TIME*
Nick: *Looking down at his watch* You know what's cool guys?! Time goes on everyday. It never stops. On and on and on!!
Kevin: *sarcastically* That's profound.
Howie: *light bulb going off* ((brightly)) THAT COULD BE A SONG! It could be called, The Facts Of Life.
AJ: that's *bleep*ing gay.
Brian: Nick has a point.
Nick: SEE? I'm RIGHT. Time DOES goes on and on.
Brian: *thinking* *grabbing his head* everyday.... come what may.
AJ: thats cool Brian... thats catchy. Is it a love song?
Brian: I see it as kind of to our fans. Like, how they've always been with us and stuff. And lets talk about our mawmaws somewhere in there.
Howie: *giving an admiring 2 thumbs up* you're brilliant brian.
Brian: God blessed my soul.
Kevin: He's my cousin.
*YES I WILL*
AJ: Yo dawgs... incase you haven't noticed, we're in the BAHAMAS with lots of sexy honies. Let's get out this *bleep*ing hotel room and take advantage of it.
Kevin: No... If.... Kristen...
Howie: *stern thumbs down* No AJ the album is most important.
Kevin: found... out... I'd...... have....
Brian: right. So, next song. It?s time for a ballad.
Kevin: to... write... another... apologetic....
AJ: *lighting up a cigarette* ok FINE.
Kevin: song.... for ....her.
Nick: I'm with AJ!! Let's go get sum sexy mammas!!
Howie: No Nicky. Sit down. Good boy.
AJ: Well damnit I'll write the next song. I'm going to write it about ma dawgs. Cuz like... I love em man.
Nick: Dogs? Where? I like dogs.
AJ: *agitated* and because I'm so agitated it will just be very repetitive and get stuck in people's minds. And because I liked the wedding vow idea we had earlier I am going to use the same exact line in my song, and it will be about starting a family. *puffing cigarette*
Nick: I'm scared. Brian, hold me.
Kevin: OK...... next song.....
*WHATS DIFFERENT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL*
Howie: I am going to write an autobiographical song about being different but beautiful except make it sound like it's about someone else and then put it only on the Walmart cd because it's a very sensitive subject and not everyone should hear it, only Walmart shoppers.
*silence*
Nick: Howie, don't take it personally or anything, but you are very strange.
Howie: BACK OFF MAN
Kevin: Calm down guys. I have just the chaps for this occasion.
*HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?*
AJ: We need a beautiful, tear-jerking song about sex to close the album. What do you guys think???
Kevin: No sex. Chaps.
Brian: *grabbing head* Premarital sex is wrong, Alex!
Nick: *bewildered and flabbergasted* REALLY?? Oh no!
Kevin: But... it's... ok. *dramatic pause* Because, even though... we don?t believe in it... *thinking* we've all done it anyway.
Howie: ok guys.
AJ: *being undeniably and effortlessly sexy* What about the last song?
Kevin: *very sexy voice* Dude, *dramatic pause* I ain't writing it because my last song *thinking* was so beautiful it drained me.
Brian: I have been very strange and silent this entire album and haven't written any songs to the surprise of fans everywhere I'm sure because I wrote so many songs on Millennium but let's not end the streak right y?all?
*silence*
Howie: OK anyway, I'll write it. That way, the 2 cute southern girls Katie and Lora who love us so much can love me even more because of my amazing writing ability.
Nick: Can i sing on your song Howie?
Howie: No I have sung previously on songs and I am very pleased with the results of those songs and I feel I should only sing on my song.
Brian: The Lord shall curse your wicked selfishness.
Howie: OK you can sing too but ONLY YOU. *thumbs up sign*
*DURING RECORDING OF BLACK AND BLUE*
Brian: Where's Kevin?
AJ: *bleep* we lost our bass. And I was going to add a sexy-talking part for him.
Howie: We can add him in later.
Nick: Hey you guys... where's Kevin?
AJ: Thanks for calling our *bleep* attention to that Nick.
Brian: Well ok. We've got to get started. AJ, you'll do the talking part in "The Call" instead of Kevin.
**And this is how it came to be that Kevin is very hard to find when listening to Black and Blue except his clever "What, what" "Come on Backstreet" in "Shining Star". Where WAS Kevin?**
Kevin: ((boyishly excited)) That store is ..... having a sale .... on chaps!! *dramatic pause* I look really *thinking* sexy ..... in chaps, I need to buy some!!
Approximately two days later Kevin emerged back into civilization with a pair of damn nice chaps.