Boys are horny. They want to get it on, and even if you try to uphold your virtues and push them away, they just can't help it. They always gotta make a play. And though you may tell them you think you should wait, they can't hold on and their body's comin' for you. Should you ever happen to arrive in this situation, you can either
a) run around screaming
b) forfeit your principles and jump onto the nearest futon, or
c) wait until the song ends.
LESSON #2 : MOMS AND CLOTHES
Love your mom dearly and do whatever she says, but if she makes you wear tacky clothes don't hesitate to go on national television and explain it in full detail. This is naturally what any loving son should do.
LESSON # 3 : SPEAKING ETIQUETTE
It is damn sexy and mysterious to never be able to find the correct word for "the thing." Do this often, and also be sure to pause as often as needed between words to think about what you're going to say next.
LESSON #4 : HEAD GRABBING
Grabbing your head is adorable and adds emphasis, so do it whenever possible. There are several head-grabbing techniques:
the fierce-head-grab-with-the-thrust grab,
the my-head-itches grab,
the pat-down-my-hair grab,
and the oh-my-god-I'm-too-adorable grab.
Remember: Variety is very useful in this lesson.
LESSON #5 : COUSINS
Always make sure everyone knows who your cousin is. Remind them as often as possible, adding that you have known this cousin "all your life". Even if you are older. This is very important.
LESSON #6 : THE WAY TO DRESS
It is damn sexy for guys to wear female clothing. it is always a good idea, unless you are already being called gay, because this won't help your fight any. Example: AJ's belly-bearing crop top in Larger Than Life; Kevin's skirt on Men Strike Back. Howie came very close, until someone told him he was looking at women's pants and he played it off like he didn't know. Shame, Howie... you were close.
LESSON #7 : HUMPING
Humping all things around will earn you major cool points. Hump the floor, the air, the chair... you can do it nice and easy or forceful. Humping is damn cool. But don't be ashamed to do it and hide behind sunglasses and hats. Be a proud humper.
LESSON #8 : WINNING
If you beat someone at something, let everyone know. You may become friends later on, but you still won, and you DESERVE the credit. You BEAT them
LESSON #9 : EATING
Tell everyone what meal you're eating. People NEED to know this. Food is always a good subject. McDonald's... baked beans in the morning... "We eatin BREAKFAST".... "We're gonna go eat LUNCH!" Meals are incredibly important. And don't forget: It's all in the wrist... and if all else fails, you just gotta grab it with your fingers.
The most important thing to remember from Backstreet School is not to let being stupid get you down. Take for example, Nick Carter. He is known for diving many demonstartions of being a freaking retard, and he is filthy rich.
Thank you.