SHE CALLED ME BUDDY

You can tell she thinks you're a fuddy-duddy
If the woman who you love calls you buddy.
I'm not a man who you could call studly,
Only 2 inches but I'm still cute and cuddly.
Always seem to be some guy's understudy,
get the blues so bad by birth name should be muddy.
Pistol whip ya with my head, that's big and ruddy
on the day that you come in and call me buddy.

Home girl don't plan to suck your teef,
if instead of lover she only calls you chief.
I'm a brother undercover full of grief.
A victim of a dirty love thief.
Smokin my heart like a big Jamacian spleef,
while she's doin a wanna be Omar Sharif.
The rest of your wretched life'll be brief,
if you tend to think about callin me chief.

You got no chance to get into that thing,
if her cute pet name for you is king.
She played me like a bow across a string.
Tried to be her Sammy with my ding-a-ling.
Instead she treated me like I was Hop-Sing.
I heard wedding bells- she only heard cha-ching.
You don't know the violent wrath you'll bring.
On your ass if you ever call me king.

There's nothing but an obscene-laced retort,
if the honey who you want calls you sport.
She's 32 flavors but I always get the quart
of the Mocha French Swirl Genital Wart.
Like a ship who couldn't get his dingy out of port
as the battle raged on within the fort.
When I'm through with you, you'll wish Mom did abort
on the day you decide to call me sport.

Self-gratification's 'round the bend
When the girl next door says "my friend."
Think you'd be better than Barbie and Ken.
But all you can do is pretend,
That you'll be sleeping in that nappy lion's den.
But your baby won't buck the current trend.
No there isn't a bloody way to make amends,
When that pseduo Larua Ingalls says "my friend."

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