CSI: Aspen
Oh, and I later figured out (with some help from my roommates) that the reason for the massive amount of blood was that I hit a vein.  Look at my hand, and you can figure out which one by comparing it to your hand.  Interactive fun.  You're welcome. 
The wound...
The counter with the offending avocado...
And the floor...
And the artist makes magic one last time before passing out and cleaning up before her roommates come home.