Saturday, 23 July 2005

My days in college were so exciting. This one time, the national guard came and shot some of my friends.

What better way to celebrate 6 months, with my dearest, by going over Sheila's house to "do our Geography Assignment". The day all started when I walked to Daniel's house at 11:37, I was late due to the fact that I was caught up playing Metroid Fusion on my Gameboy Advanced Emulator. As I arrived at Daniel's I had rang the doorbell twice with no answer, so I began to wonder if he was still at tutor. I stood outside his house for a good 5 minutes before leaving in search of Sheila's house. As I walked up Alcoomie Street, up to Binnaburra Street, a car pulled up beside me. It was Daniel and we then walked to Sheila's together. On our way, I remembered the streets we were to turn to and Sheila's house number by repeating the words Allegory, Tycoon and 15. Allegory meaning Allowerie Road, Tycoon meaning Tuncoee Road, and 15 being Sheila's house number. We finally reached Sheila's house going through those particular streets and we were the first to arrive.
We sat outside Sheila's house for a while, looking at a K Mart catalogue and then entering Sheila's house and then room. Not long after that, Sheila received a message from Anna. The message read: open up. We then rushed down to open the door for Anna. Soon after Anna had arrived, Susan came a-knock knock knocking. We then decided to try to scare Susan, we tip toed down the stairs to the front door and were quietly laughing. Susan kept knocking, harder and louder with each knock. Finally, Sheila screamed out 'Susan!' and we opened the door. We were to all chip in $5, for Pizza Hut this particular day and as we were calculating our total, we were short, so Anna chipped in a extra $9. We then tried to start our Geography Assignment, but we were too excited about the pizzas. So, we decided to start after we finished eating our pizzas.
When the pizzas had finally arrived, we decided to eat outside, in Sheila's backyard amongst the wildlife. Sheila then provided us a mat, that she had collected from her garage but she had stacked it while getting it. We then sat outside and ate our two pizzas. But, first of all we said grace. I started by saying "Rub-a-dub-dub, Thanks for the grub" and the others soon followed. We then got stuck into the BBQ Meat Lovers and Super Supreme Pizzas. Sheila than pointed to an ornament in her garden and told us that her cousin had pissed on it. It was a very appropriate comment as we were eating and all! Anna then asked the group 'Can you get mosquito bites on your dick?', as many little mosquitos flew behind her, and one catching her on the arm. She then had a red sore for the rest of the day. Once everybody had finished, we packed up and began on our assignment.
We had rushed up to Sheila's room where we began to read, as everybody sat there looking bored. We managed to get one piece of work done, which of course was done by me. Susan was on Sheila's Computer, trying to delete the viruses and block the pop ups. We could no longer stand pretending to know what we were doing, as Sheila's dad and sister came home. That's when it all went a bit crazy. I took Sheila's five trolls down from her cupboard to play with and as Sheila went to close the cupboard Susan had noticed Sheila had a Chuckie (Rugrats) doll and told Sheila to bring it down too. As Sheila brought Chuckie down, she told us of his very loose pants. As soon as Susan held him, Chuckie's pants had fallen off. We then began to put Chuckie in very sexual positions and even sticking a cordless phone aerial up his ass. Seeing as Chuckie was only still a baby he did not have any pubic hair but that all changed as I put an orange haired troll in between his legs. We then got Blue from Blue's Clues and used him to give Chuckie some sexual pleasure, as Blue gave it to him, doggy style. All the while, we took photo after photo.
Eventually getting bored, we moved onto Sheila's beauty products. Daniel then took out a CONAIR Braider and began to play with everybody's hair. It looked a bit like a taser, Susan then began to braid my hair. At first, I couldn't feel shit but when she twisted the two pieces of hair together, it full pulled my hair. So, all the while that I was screaming in agony, Susan kept repeating 'Oh my god, its stuck, it's stuck!'. I thought they were going to have to amputate my hair but no, the CONAIR Braider released me from it's jaws. Susan then later tried but all it did was tangle her hair. We then experimented with hair moose, and then as the girls took many more photos, Daniel and I began to wipe beauty products on them. Before Daniel left, Sheila began to take shots of her giving birth to her baby, Chuckie. She then later breast fed the baby of hers, not knowing who the father was. Daniel then went home, but as he walked off into the distance I left off a SBD (Silent But Deadly) which soon evaporated into the air, that we breathe in.
We then all returned to Sheila's room where we took more photos, many more ridiculous than the ones before it. Sheila and Susan dressed into Sheila's Grandma's clothes and paraded around the room all the while, Anna and I took photo after photo. Sheila then took out a pair of G-strings, with Sheila and Susan putting them on still with Sheila's Grandma's clothes on them. Sheila then took out two pairs of thick glasses and gave one to Susan, and then posed for the camera yet again. Both, Sheila and Susan would make such sexy Grandparents.
That incredibly, began to bore us so we decided to go to the park. As we arrived at the park, we saw many little people playing on the swings and all. Sheila then told us she would threaten them in order to gain entrance to the swings, but she did not. Instead, we played on the slide and monkey bars, as we took more and more photos. Sheila then noticed the little boy had come off his swing and she ran for the swing. Sheila and Susan then sat down at a bench behind Anna and I as we swang on the swings. I soon realised they had disappeared from the face of the Earth, so we began to look for them. We didn't walk far before Anna spotted Sheila's head pop out of the corner. We followed their stench which lead us to a car. We then noticed Susan's head pop out of it and Susan and Sheila then began to run off. They had thought an anonymous guy in a car similar to Sheila's dad was stalking them.We then returned to Sheila house, where the girls went through Sheila's collection of photos on her computer. Being as shallow as they are, judging every guy in sight. We saw many funny photos of us all in earlier years we laughed at and pictures of Laila during her "modelling session". Sheila then decided she would shout us all Sizzler.
We walked down Sheila's dark road and arrived at Sizzler almost immediately. Sheila lived only one street away from Sizzler so we were quick to get there and order. The girls all got a Salad Bar but all I got was a drink. I sat and watched the girls eat but they felt uncomfortable and Sheila kept telling me to eat some complimentary Cheese toast. I ate it just to shut her up. Between the 4 of us, we used a mighty amount of plates and bowls. As the girls ate and ate, I drank and drank. Until I got to the Dessert Bar where, Anna and I both got chocolate ice(d) cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Sheila and Susan, left for the restrooms, this was a chance for Anna and I to be bad. We put both Salt and Pepper into both Sheila and Susan's drinks. When they had returned, Susan knew something was up, she knew right away, we were up to something. She then began to sniff and stare at her drink and realised that we did put pepper into her and Sheila's drinks. I then dared Sheila to drink it, in which she did.
We then left Sizzler leaving behind our rating of the restaurant and headed back to Sheila's not knowing what was to come. We sat in Sheila's room looking through her photo album and all the cards she had received since Year 2. Anna's dad had arrived to pick her up, so she left, leaving only 3. We then continued to look at the photo album and the cards and Susan and I then rang our parents to pick us up. Not long after that, Susan's mother came to pick her and I then returned home. The day was jam-packed with everything imaginable, including pornography and the lot.
Tune in next time where we will see Sheila run into the wall. Goodbye for now!

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