Monday, 17 October 2005
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?
Do you know what really grinds my gears? Ppl hu tlk lyk dis. They have no
regard to people like me. Do you know what's worst than that? When guys try
to talk like that. Are they trying to sound cute? Is that what your trying to
do? WELL TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO?
Well, yesterday saw us (Alan, Caillan, Caroline, Daniel, Glen, Sheila, Susan)
celebrate the birth of Sheila 16 years ago. At 2:00, I left for the Plaza. I got
to the Plaza late, and Susan and I went into Woolies and asked ourselves "What
should we get first?", Susan answered "A basket, where are the baskets?". Not
knowing we had already walked past the baskets, we span around in a circle
before I got a basket. We spent about an hour in search of the necessities and
were stuck about candles. Susan wanted to buy those blowy birthday things but
they were $3 and I wouldn't allow her to ruin Sheila's "Surprise" Birthday.
Instead we got balloons and got Sheila a numbered candle. We couldn't make
proper decisions so we resorted to good ol' "Scissors, Paper, Rock".
At 5:00, everybody began to arrive. First Alan, then Caroline, then Sheila and
Susan, then Glen, Caillan and Daniel. We stood outside for a while and went
inside where nobody did much except blow up, then pop balloons (some containing
M&Ms inside of them). Caroline's pathetic attempts to pop the balloon was a
"Classic Caroline" moment. This happened until there were no balloons left and
when my mother told me off. We then decided to order Pizza even though nobody
was hungry. It was undecided which pizzas we would get so Susan took suggestions
from everybody. The main suggestion was "Cheese!", suggested by Daniel, Alan
soon became his echo. Susan rang up Pizza Hut (9481 1111) and ordered a BBQ
Meatlovers, Hawaiian and Supreme Pizza. Caroline struggled to keep the other
phone from Daniel and Alan who were screaming "Cheese! Cheese!". We then went
upstairs where everybody played Tekken 4.
Daniel destroyed Susan's Panda without trying, as Susan laughed at Panda's
handbag. Sheila was next, with much surprise Sheila beat Daniel the first round.
But, much to Sheila's disarray, we discovered Sheila was never playing at all,
instead the computer was playing as Sheila mashed the buttons on the control.
This all happened while Caroline struggled to sign into her MSN account. She
screamed out "David!", and Alan rushed onto the scene, as if he was some kind of
super hero. Daniel got bored and left, Sheila attempted to stop him by closing
the door on him then running after him, screaming his name, down the street.
After Daniel left, my mother returned from her journey to pick up the pizzas. By
that time, we had began to play Poker. We invited the girls to play "Strip"
Poker but they all declined with the exception of Sheila. Instead they posed as
they took photos of each other. They took some porn poses but they were deleted
so dirty people on the internet would not gain possession of such explicit
photographs and Susan's dad would've screamed. I sat with the girls eating
pizza, as the others were on the net discussing important "issues" on my MSN
account. Glen and Alan soon came down for pizza but by that time, there wasn't
much left. We went back to playing Poker and the girls went back to their
posing.
Glen was the inaugural Poker champion after he quickly took half of Alan's chips
after about 5 rounds of betting. Our game was interrupted by the girls once
again, this time they wanted cake. We all went to have cake, except Caillan. We
struggled to fit all 17 candles onto one cake and light them all, as Caroline
inspected Sheila's cutting skills (see below) and forced Sheila to kiss the
nearest guy (Glen), this never happened (or did it?).
After cake, we resumed our Poker game but was interrupted again. I stole a
'Happy Birthday' banner from the school and was saving it for this special
occasion. I wrapped Sheila around in it and Caroline helped (see below). Sheila
then took some model shots in front of the door. The night ended with us all
participating in a game of 'Truth N' Dare'. Our ideas weren't "very original"
but they were a crack up. Unfortunately we all agreed that "whatever happens in
the room, stays in the room" so there will be no details. Momer gummit Ecer.
That is all.
I'm Homer, who are you? by NoHomers.net
¶ David
Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I
saw the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.
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¶ David