Game 3: L 0-4
Player of the Game: The Bleeding Guy
There was a report by the National Chinese Associated Press as well as the North Korean News Agency that there was an uprising in Northeastern China, near the North Korean boarder. Locals claimed to have spotted a stocky mythical Yeti-like fighting machine breaking numerous amounts of trees, threatening to tae-kwon-do anyone who stood in it path. When captain Daniel Pan read this, he thought that his broomball star forward, Vincent Cannistraro went to North Korea to settle some old "family" problems. In reality, Cannistraro was caught his friend sniffing the gasoline nozzle while looking at the "Girls of HomeLand Security" Calender at the local Shell Station. Pan sweared that he saw a Yeti-like figure.
When Pan told his teammates about this "illusion" everyone started to laugh at him. Despite getting made fun of, Pan decided to show the team a film rather than giving them a sermon from the Book of Pan. Electrified by a pregame slide show on the ice depicting their storied "franchise", past-winning teams and Hall-of-Fame legends Brian Fink, Jason Fleming, and Thomas Ennessy, the Ice Transplants' and their fans were ready for a current player to step forward. Unfortunately, the team was distracted by the blood on the ice, big Yeti that loomed on other side of the ice, and its "Fountain of Velocity".
Despite the prescence of the Yeti, Edwin Flores appeared to have a calm demeanor. The new Ice Transplants' goalie was no different than any other player who has butterflies before a big game, even if his performance on Monday night's suggests otherwise. "I think everyone's nervous" the 22-year-old goaltender said. "If you don't have jitters, then you better check your pulse because this is a big time of season"
The Ice Transplants looked ready to spoil the day as they outshot their opponents 4-1 in the first five minutes. Flores came up with 4 of his 10 saves in the first period "Edwin played unbelievable" Ernst Lamothe said. Flores stopped Curahee early. He stopped K. Long twice at the net early in the period, and he had a kick save off M. Schneider. Off the kick save, Tim Ohara flipped the puck past defenseman H. Gull at the Curahee's blue line and broke down the ice on a two-on-one with Cannistraro before beating R. Raymond with a quick shot from the faceoff circle into the top right corner. However, the ball sailed wide of the goal.
Again, the Curahee countered. Lamothe made one of the biggest save for the Ice Transplants when he cleared the puck from the crease after it slipped through Flores legs on a shot by J. Fischer from the blue line. Again, Flores had to stop The Yeti's 90 mph shot with his left pad seconds later. David Yu helped swat away the ball as it floated through the air in front of the goal. After facing numerous shots at high velocity, Flores finally wilted under pressure. The Yeti scored 8:35 into the first period on a slap shot that struck Flores' left foot and beat him through the legs.
The second period was a depliction of the end of the first half. Right out of the gates, the Ice Transplants were on their heels again. Trailing a rush initiated by the Yeti, K. Long came through the slot and took a backhand pass from his teammate F. Kelleybrew however, Wang was able to block the shot from a sharp angle. Moments later, Lamothe stopped Curahee forward S. Souray's shot attempt at the blue line, however the ball bounced around and F. Kelleybrew recovered and beat Flores with a long wrist shot.
With five minutes left in the second period, Ohara received the ball at center ice from Cannistraro, put the ball between the defender's legs and kept moving towards the Curahee goalie. With Cannistraro and Victor Wang moving up, Ohara took an one timer, however, their goalie was up to the challenge, blocking Ohara's shot with ease. Immediately, the Yeti yelled as it was coming down the ice, scaring the crap out of the Cannistraro, causing him to fall down and cuddle into a fetal position. The yell also caused V. Wang to run for his life. With this, the Yeti glided through the defense, faked out (tossed aside) 175 lb stock built Lamothe and Stanley Wang and backhanded the ball behind Flores for their third goal. Later on, K. Long gave Curahee a four-goal lead when he scored in the beginning of the second period. M. Schneider got his assist on the goal as K. Long scored into an open left side off a rebound of Lamothe's foot. "Man, ....quick as a mongoose...there is nothing I could have done" Flores stated.
"The Yeti was the difference in the game. Those weren't routine plays that he was making" V. Wang agreed. He was running up and down the ice like (my girl) Michelle Kwan does on a routine basis. He was good going through our defense, getting good shots. (We've) just got to stick with it. What I want to know is what kind of shoes he was wearing? I was wondering if they were legal...he didn't fall and he was running at full speed."
"Obviously, this was an important game. They were a veteran team, and they wanted to put a nail in the coffin today and they did. However, personally I think they cheated a bit, especially the Yeti....but I have no complaints I will admit, they were by far the better team" exclaimed Cannistraro. "About that Yeti, IT literally ate us alive..having nasty roars. Honestly, those wild roars scared the sh!t of of me. No one makes me cuddle into a fetal position. No one! I guess those roars meant it was hungry for some red meat. That definitely explains the blood on the floor. Luckly I was not dinner. "
Pan agreed. "It was too bad I didn't bring my cell phone. I could have called "Unsolved Mysteries" ...and proved that the Yeti doesn't live in the mountains of Asia, but resides at the U of I. #$#$, I can't talk to Robert Stack because he has passed away.....I loved it when he said "maybe you can help solve a mystery' Just my luck, it is after the show goes off the air do I take part in solving one of the biggest mysteries. I wonder if the McDonald Clothing Line would actually fit it?"
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