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IT Jokes - I
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I already know COBOL Once old man was sitting in the park reading book "learn Java in 21 days"A passer by saw him and asked "U are such an old guy, why do you bother to learn Java?" "I have heard that communication language at heaven is Java so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don't want to face communication problem." old man replied. " But how come are U so sure that U will be in heaven? It could be a hell also." he asked. "Ya, doesn't matter .... I already know COBOL" .
Mapping husband - hai dear, Im logged in.wife - have you brought the saree. husband - bad command or file name. wife - but I told you about it in morning. husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel. wife - hae bhagwan! forget it wheres your salary. husband - file in use, read only, try after sometime. wife - atleast give me your credit card, I can do some shopping. husband - sharing voilation access denied. wife - I made a mistake in marring you. husband - data type mismatch. wife - you are useless. husband - by default. wife - who was there with you in the car this morning. husband - system unstable, press <Ctrl> <Alt> <Del> to reboot. wife - would you like to have some snacks. husband - hard disk full. wife - what is relation between you & your receptionist. husband - the only user with write permission. wife - what is my value in your life. husband - unknown virus detected. wife - do you love me or your computer. husband - too many paramteres. wife - I will go to my dads house. husband - program performed illegal operation, it will close. wife - I will leave you for ever. husband - close all progrems & log out for another user. wife - it is worthless talking to ypu. husband - shut down the computer. wife - I am going. husband - its now safe to turn off your computer.
IT letter Dear ECG,
Last month I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was
included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where
it monitors all other system activity.
Thanks, Dear XXX,
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be
able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden
operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete,
or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot
go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." C:\ APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you Will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will Return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying addition software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
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