Retraction

Last week, we reported on the news that the Martians were attacking the Jovian moon Europa.

We have been persuaded by people who have to persude us to retract this story and appologise for any mis-representations we may have made.

[The northern lights] This is the picture we published last week. We have been reliably informed that the two beams of light are in fact the northern lights. Other people have reliably informed us that it's actually a weather balloon.

Astronomy

Star gazers have spotted a new comet in the sky, and it'd orbit will pass close to Earth. The Godfrey-Massey comet passed by Jupiter recently and is now heading this way. Observers have noted that this comet lacks a normal tail, has a moulded metalic look to it, and it is travelling faster than all other recorded comets. We calculate that it will be visible to the naked eye in two weeks.