Great Lines

Ha. Ha. Funny, funny. Neil Gaiman wrote the miniseries with a typical British sarcastic humour that mostly centers around John Constantine. John Ney Reiber writes with a remarkably understated humour, especially for an American. So despite all the realism(!) and serious moments, one of the great features of Books of Magic is that it's genuinely funny, without ever seeming forced or unnatural. I like it.

• John Constantine: "Just what the world's been waiting for. The charge of the trenchcoat brigade."
  Phantom Stranger: "I heard that, John Constantine." Miniseries #1
• Phantom Stranger: "There are powers, and forces, and realms beyond the field's you know."
  Tim Hunter: "I don't know any fields. I'm a city boy." Miniseries #1
• Tim Hunter (to Phantom Stranger): "So who are you? Let me guess. um..'Mr. Wears a Black Coat'? 'Professor Esoteric'? 'Captain Nobody'?"Miniseries #1
• John Constantine: "Hullo, kid. How was the past?"
  Tim Hunter: "Okay, I s'pose. Interesting. I think I learned stuff. I threw up."
  John Constantine: "Bloody Hell. Try not to puke on my raincoat, then. It's hell to dry-clean." Miniseries #1
• Tim Hunter: "Where are we?"
  John Constantine: "It's an aeroplane. Big metal thing, flies through the air, sneds your luggage to Hong Kong."Miniseries #2
• Boston Brand: "Famous last words, kiddo. Mine were: 'Gee, from up here, it almost looks like that guy with the hook's holding a rifle...'"Miniseries #2
• Tim Hunter: "It's just that I don't want my last words to be 'Well, Tim, that was stupid wasn't it?' Which is exactly what they'll be if I start talking to myself."#3
• Death: "Generally I have about as much to do with skulls as your average chicken has to do with souffles."#4
• Tim Hunter: "Gee, what have you got in that glass, young man? It looks scrumptious. This? Why it's water, Sir Stoatley! The natural breakfast, oh, so low in calories. Now available in exciting new chlorine flavour."#5
• John Constantine: "What's all this about facing death? I thought we were going to teach these bad boys to sing hymns."#6
• Tim Hunter: "You walking?"
  Molly O'Reilly: "Well, my chauffeur is late--."#6
• Martyn: "Oh, and if you're going to eat today, do it now. I don't want the boy to see you with bloody feathers in your decolletage."
  Leah: "Yes Master. That would be inappropriate."#7
• Mr. Wrong (regarding Martyn's mirrors): "Now here's a lovely one. Atlantean, is it? Meant to, mm, influence the tides. Ah those Atlanteans. They never did learn to leave well enough alone."#8
• Tim Hunter: "He seems pretty excited abot getting a new face. Even if they are patching it together from bits of skin off his bum."#9
• Tim Hunter: "Uh-oh. They must not have O'Reilly's where Daniel's from..."#11
• Mr. Wrong: "Uh, of course I'd like to bathe more often Mr. Chiang, but the facilities at my, um, current residence... well I can only shower when the weather permits."#15
• Barbatos: "I do wish he wouldn't talk to strangers. I've worked so hard to desocialize him."#15
• Tanger: "Well. If you're not the most unfortunate opener I've ever known, I'm a saucepan."#16
• Molly: "Somebody! Help! The retarded lizards have got me!"
  Lizard: "Hurry! She is rudely making loud unhappy noises!"#16
• Tim Hunter: "Oh, no. Mes."#18
• Lizard: "Wait! Do not shut this door yet! We are still outside! With Love! Let us in! Let us in! Pretty please with spice and sugar! We do not want Love to catch us! We are special just the way we are!"#19

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