U N O F F I C I A L
H O M E P A G E
While walking home from the pizzeria with my birthday pie, I got to thinking about
what a typical pizza delivery to Lighthouse Point might be like... and what the locals
think of their exotic neighbors.
Disclaimer: Only Sculder and Pop are mine.
"Pizza Delivery"
by Winnie Lim
"Sculder! Order up!"
As I ran into the kitchen, Pop Ferris held up a list and indicated a pile of pizzas in
their insulated bag. I took the list and read down it quickly. "1121 Elm Lane, 1013
Horrocks, 5 Zahn, Lighthouse Point...Lighthouse Point?!"
Pop nodded. "Yup. 2 super double-deckers."
"But... Lighthouse Point!!!" I protested. I'd heard stories about that place. All
the other drivers had stories about that place. That place was not good news.
Pop shrugged. "Sorry, kid. Customer's a customer. If it's any consolation, I hear
they give really good tips."
"Yeah, right," I muttered as I stuffed the bag into the back seat of my Gremlin and
got into the driver's seat.
Lighthouse Point was the last stop on my round. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
blasting out of my stereo at full volume, I turned off the main road onto the side lane
that led to the lighthouse.
Lighthouse Point has a reputation around Rockport. People say that it's owned by
Dr Benton Quest, the famous scientist and inventor, and that's all anyone really knows
about it. Nobody dares get too near. Strange things go on around it all the time --
flashes of light in the middle of the night, late-night helicopter landings, and who knows
what else. Bill Chandler said that once he heard gunfire and explosions coming from the
lighthouse, but everyone says Bill's a bit off anyway.
Only Mrs Evans, who lives just 3 doors down from me, knows what goes on in
that house. They hire her to clean, and sometimes she stays overnight to babysit the
Quest kids. They've got her sworn to secrecy, she says, pretending to sound annoyed,
but we all know she's thrilled to pieces to know something that nobody else does.
The windows of the lighthouse were ablaze with light as I drew up to the main
house. Rounding the fountain, I stopped at the front door and got out.
Suddenly there was a flash of light in the sky. I looked up. It had come from the
direction of the lighthouse.
All the lights in the main house and the lighthouse had gone out. That was not
good.
And then I saw the floating lights in the sky. They were slowly buzzing the
lighthouse -- menacingly? I couldn't tell.
I couldn't even tell what they were. They were hovering like helicopters, but I
couldn't hear any rotors or engines.
I debated if I should get into my car and leave. I'd seen enough episodes of "The
X-Files" to know that you shouldn't tangle with floating lights in the sky. Especially if
one of them had put out an intense beam of light, like one of them just had.
Holy cow! One of them just put out an intense beam of light!
That did it. I got back into the car. Order and tip be damned. I could always say
that I got lost on the way. Lighthouse Point was an isolated place, so that wouldn't too
hard to believe. I'd even pay for the pizza out of my own pocket. Money was small
potatoes compared to possibly getting my insides probed by who knew what.
Gremmy wouldn't start.
"What's wrong with you?!" I howled, turning the key desperately and stomping on
the clutch like a pizza delivery driver possessed.
Gremmy still wouldn't start.
And then I heard helicopter rotors.
"Finally, something normal," I thought, looking out the window. One new light
had joined the two hovering lights. It didn't look like any helicopter I had ever seen in
my life.
I shrank down in my seat. I'm not normally a religious person, but the familiar
words from Sunday school came into my head. "Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy..."
RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-
Yikes! They were SHOOTING! I looked up fearfully and saw little sparks flying
off the lighthouse walls. Yeah, buddy, stay at the lighthouse, and...
RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-
Two lines of gunfire were tracing their way down the path from the lighthouse.
"...forthineisthekingdomthepowerandthegloryforeverandeveramen."
They were still shooting.
"OK, OK. Hail Mary full of grace, ..."
KA-WHOOOMP! And the helicopter rotors were suddenly silent.
What now? I eased an eyeball up to the window, just in time to see a flaming ball
plunge into the ocean. The light from the blast when the flaming wreck hit the water lit
up the night sky, hurting my eyes.
The two silent lights were back to hovering around the lighthouse. The beam of
light was back on.
Then I saw shadows at the edge of the compound. I squinted, trying to make out
the forms. They looked like a bunch of people in black outfits, scurrying, bent over,
across the ground. I got the feeling they weren't good news.
"Sh'ma Yisroayl: Adonoy Elohaynu, Adonoy echod...."*
Hey, I majored in Religion for five whole weeks. I might as well get some use out of it.
The people were drawing closer. Though I was scared stupid, I couldn't help
looking out the window to see what happened next.
One of the hovering lights swooped over and bathed the approaching battalion in a
wide beam of light. There was a flash.
The people simply disappeared.
I fell back from the window and squashed myself as small as I could in my seat.
Those big lights were dangerous!
Then another thought occurred to me. Would I be next?
"Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church
honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases..."
The lights were now slowly circling the lighthouse. Faster and faster they went,
until they were nothing but a blur of light-streams enclosing the lighthouse in what
looked like a solid web of light.
That did it. I was going to take my chances. I grabbed the bag containing the
pizzas -- hey, never hurts to come bearing food -- and bolted out of my car, up the
steps, to the door, and rang the bell.
The lights behind me vanished.
I held my breath.
Then the porch light came on, and the door opened. In the doorway stood a
young blond boy, a red-headed girl slightly behind him.
"Great! Pizza's here!" the boy exclaimed.
"Uh...yeah," was all I could say.
The girl looked at her watch. "31 minutes. We get it free," she said smugly.
Suddenly I couldn't wait to be out of there. "Here, take it!" I said, shoving the
pizzas, bag and all, into the boy's hands. Wheeling around, I shot down the stairs and
into the car.
Gremmy, bless her, started on the first try. I think I heard them calling as I peeled
off around the fountain and down the road, but I didn't care. And I didn't stop till I was
safely back at the pizzeria parking lot.
Pop was watching the news and barely acknowledged me as I shot through the
doors.
"Hey, Sculder. Take a look at this," Pop said, pointing at the screen. "Bunch of
terrorists just turned up in the middle of the FBI foyer. They were so shook up they
blabbed everything. Said something about strange lights."
I shook my head. "Sure, Pop. Whatever."
END
*The Shema Yisrael Jewish prayer. No disrespect intended. It means
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our G-d, the Lord is One."
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