News & Views News & Views News & Views.........
Car Crime Crashes On Bentilee
Car crime dropped dramatically in the month Oct-November 1990 reveal Hanley Police today.
This follows a three month high crime period extending from 2nd July-1st October, which included a total of 49 thefts of motor vehicles, and 34 thefts from motor vehicles -- all in the area encompassing Bentilee, Bucknall, and Berryhill.
The fall, said Crime Prevention Officer, Det. Constable Johnson, is part of a general drop in petty and semi-serious crime during the same month.
He explained the fall was 'probably due' to them having 'locked up the one's responsible for {the summer crimewave}'. "As it's a proven fact that most villains operate in a one-and-a-half mile radius of where they live."
Meanwhile, anyone who has recently had their car stolen may like to know that Hanley Police's Crime Collator claims a 93% recovery rate for vehicles.
And anyone who'd like to find out how they may stop their car becoming part of next month's statistics can contact the Crime Prevention Dept on S-O-T 202555 {Ext 236}.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Having succeeded in offending The Bentilee Volunteers with my "Diary of a Bent' Vol'" I now went on to offend the police too. They had given me a computer map showing car crime on the estate in a sort of graph format and I couldn't remember what way up it was suppose to be so gave it the humourous caption, "Totally confusing map showing reported car crime on Bentilee", and they thought I was taking the mickey and took umbridge. Some days you just can't win.
Pensioner's
Press PleaA Bentilee pensioner has put out a plea to the television companies over their reporting of the Gulf crisis.
Said the local lady {name withheld}, "My son is a member of the Staffordshire Regiment that's been sent out there, and I worry every time there is a news flash in case they say war has broken out."
"It's like when he was stationed in Northern Ireland, I used to worry every time there was a flash to say another soldier's been killed or wounded."
"I suffer from nerves and angina, and these report are damaging to my health."
"Why can't they wait until they can say, 'Next of kin have been informed', and save people this worry?"
A good question, but one she's so far received no good answer to, despite letters to the TV companies concerned.
Thatcher Resigns
Winner of The Bentilean's
"Sweetest two words of the 20th Century"
Award
Satirist Silenced by Calendar Capers
The Bentilee Volunteers have silenced "Bentilean" satirist, John Steele, by publishing another calendar!
Asked last year if he found them giving all their Winter Warmers old folk a calendar as funny as the Social Service giving all their old folk a thermonmeter 'so they could see at what temperature they froze to death', he couldn't reply for laughing.
Asked this year, he said nothing. Asked three times, he said nothing. Asked why, he replied, "This time they've got another 'team of volunteers', pensioners, and a bunch of 10 & 11 year old kids helping them. I'd have to be seven types of sod to take the mickey out of that lot. And I'm not!
I'm eight kinds of coward and I'm keeping my mouth shut.
Copyright The Bentilean, 1990, 1999
The news above is, of course, now out of date.Back to: The Contents Page | The Archive | The Bentilean Main Page