Primal Scream

I.
still night
	the sound of a distant train
	light aircraft flying overhead
	the movement of distant cars
no other sounds save the chirping of crickets
no wind stirs the trees
loneliness stirs inside me
so restless ... so worried ... so steady
	who could have known
	this child raised on ancient rituals
		promised happiness
	would find herself alone
	as the years speed towards death ... the end
cute ... pretty ... personable
	above all else seeking honesty
		away from the lies
		the mask worn in youth
trickster ... coyote
	walking apart from all else
	never in sync
	never on the same page
		always ahead
so lonely cries this heart
solitary tears
	never shed
		beaten
			broken
				shattered
all else rejected
	conformity refused
		perfection sought
		never to be found
a solitary night
	reflections of a broken heart
II.
weep not sweet child of destiny
	there is someone for you
	out there where they can't be seen
keep not the bitterness of deception
	within that loving heart & soul
remember sweet meadows
	quiet streams
	blue skies
	sun warmed skin
		or crisp morning walks
	so close to your soul
in them there is a promise
	sadness lifted by a hand so tender
				gentle
				loving
know this to be true
	& walk through each day
	with the promise to be fulfilled
		once upon a dream ...
III.
it is my season
	it always has been
tender memories fill me
	expectations rise
not quite the "social butterfly"
	nor wanting many near me
new beginnings
longed for endings
	it's just that time of year
what lies ahead are trials
	test i must face
	and shall
but it is good to know this season
it is good to have behind me matters of little concern
	that i survived
	and am not wholly embittered
	is more the stuff of me
while the seasons change
	i look at a trail of broken dreams
	not as failures
		but as adventures
		that did not end
		"happily ever after"
i remember the laughter now more than the tears
	bitterness
for these are not times to dwell upon
	the dream is alive
	and doing quite well