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Miracle Whiffs (Smell It!)

@#$%^&* The Unofficial CRAZY LABELS Homepage *&^%$#@

What the hell are Crazy Labels? Somewhere around 1979 or 1980, one of the main bubblegum card makers (Fleer I think) drew up a set of 64 products from a parallel universe. The result was a MAD-like catalog of products: skunky hair-care items, diapers that practically doubled as tourniquets, mineral water with biological speculations swimming within... if something didn't induce vomiting, it was at least hysterically useless.

Calculate the chances that many of the original products, having been spoofed nearly two decades ago, are still on drugstore shelves today. Orpheus Laboratories feels the time has come to digitally preserve these long-out-of-print classic trading cards. I dedicate this page to the artists and writers who changed the way we look at consumerism. Step with me now as we visit the Supermarket of Tomorrow.

If? Crumby Peanut Plaster

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Crazy Labels (near-complete) Checklist
01 Ex-Con Motor Oil 33 Windy's
02 Crampfire Mushmallows 34 21st Century
03 Liptune - 48 Old Bags 35 Sik Lighter
04 Sad Trash Bags 36 If? Crumby Peanut Plaster
05 Joke Cola 37 Maimed Toothwaste
06 Chef Boy-r-these-sad Spitghetti 38 Singeford Charcoal
07 Bullseye Green Beans 39 Ty-One-On Tablets
08 FizzleLean 40 Nausea Zit Cream
09 Cannibals' Jungle Soup 41 Bugs Diapers
10 DessertX 42 Nice & Sleazy
11 Elastic Pickles 43 Saggies Used Plastic Bags
12 Grillette Flamey 44 Sunburnt
13 Perspiration H 45 Hamburger Belcher
14 Binds Tomato Catch-Up 46 Draines Burpers
15 Lowbrow Beer 47 Litely Watered Beer
16 Swet Ones 48 Strip-Ex
17 Pierre's 49 Dr. Scorch
18 Chopped Steak 50 U-8 Juice
19 Schlepps Bionic Water 51 Hi-Temperature Fear
20 Smell Sham-phew 52 Cannon Single Shot Camera
21 Risk 53 U.S. Fail
22 Weak Thins 54 Kracked Barrel
23 Coaloil Herbicidel Essence 55 Stanka
24 Al-skunko BO-5 56 Max-Smell House
25 Nobull 57 Dare Eat Those
26 Fan Anti-perspirant 58 Sealed Best Heavy Slush
27 Bananacin 59 American Distress
28 Done-In Chicken Fat Yogurt 60 Dandi Flush
29 Fatal Touch 61 Just Booze
30 Kleen-ups Soggies 62 Colorots Bleech
31 Guillotine Krac II 63 Fool Koffin Nails
32 Swansong 64 Miracle Whiffs

Note: Some of these were replaced with alternate titles/images.
Other WP/CL pages have more information on this.

For those of you who have sent me comments & their own page addresses, I thank you from the bottom of my black little heart... One of these days I will get around to linking your pages here. You haven't been forgotten! - HR

Any comments about this crazy page? Drop me a line! I slaved over a hot scanner to make this page!!! Show some gratitude ok?

Orpheus Laboratories