embies' asarian etc. poetry archives
minimally spoilered poetry




spotlight on Matthew Hills




Unknown Pain

(c) 1996 Matthew Hills


i sit 
in my favorite chair
reading
my favorite book
it is warm
the sky is blue
the world moves by
at its normal pace
and i am in pain

it hurts
and i don't know where
there is no pill
for a pain 
one can't discribe
no cure 
for this unknown pain
and still i am in pain

no
you can't see it in me
i go to work
i smile 
at the right time
i talk to people
i know - not friends
but the pain
lurks
waiting
to show it ugly head

some relief comes
from running
away and within
but when i slow down
still i am in pain

empty
dark
dull
seeping in
around the
edges of my mind
ever present

i saw it yesterday
as i looked in
my own eyes
deep down
and i was in pain

			 


Finding that Secret Place

(c) 1995 Mateo (Matthew Hills)


I hear a voice quietly crying
    out in the dark - but where

In a dark place
    a cool place
     a small place
      a safe place

        in a tree
         in the loft
          under boxes in the garage
           in a foxhole dug into the earth like a grave

It was a dark place
        a cool place
         a small place
          a safe place
           and it was mine

It was the place to which I would go
    when life got too hard - too loud - too confusing
     and there I would find that secret place in my mind as well.
Secret now, even from me -

Again, I need that special place
    not to hide - for I am a MAN
     but to heal - for I am a MAN

Where is that lost corner of my mind
    where the lost little one still hides and crys in fear

I hear you crying - calling - but I can't find you.

It was a dark place
        a cool place
         a small place
          a safe place
           and it was mine.
  
- written with love to the little boy in the dark - 
mateo
			 



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embies' asarian poetry archives / she's anon-4552@anon.twwells.com / last revised january 1, 1997