my parents died when i was ten. after that i lived on the streets. there i learned many useful skills such as pick-pocketing, petty theft, street fighting. you know, your basic classical education. at the age of 12, i joined a small gang. with them i continued to learn. i now had some spare time and spare cash. at age 13, i started training with some professionals. i learned various martial arts, escape, western combat techniques, mechanics, art, all sorts of things useful for advancing my crime career and bettering myself culturally. oh, i studied academics, too. it would be rather a shame if i had not done; i am quite brilliant, you know, and as they say, quite correctly, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

at the time i joined the gang, it was being led by a fine fellow named bob, who was a few years older than me. he took to calling me 'the Kid,' not that i was by any means the youngest member of the gang. but i'm getting sidetracked. where was i? oh yes. about bob. he was not quite as bright, perhaps, as i was, but no dummy. and he wanted what was best for his gang. we were a nice little family, and all of us friends. i got quite close to bob, myself. he was always an impeccable judge of character, as well as of other qualities. and so, finally, he realized i could lead the gang better than he could, so he handed it over to me. the others trusted his judgment. this was when i was 15.

then i merged it with several other gangs about town. my gang became quite something, in Gotham. we were still what you might call small time, but we were very good for what we were. at 16, i met the Joker. i had long been an admirer of his. i went to him and offerred him my gang. he took it. and he took me under his wing. i became his prize pupil, his apprentice, and he, my mentor. you might call me "the Joker's Robin." when i joined him, i changed my name to the Kidder.

at age 18, i struck off on my own, having learned pretty much all that he could teach me. Joker gave me as a parting gift a portion of his gang, as well as of his businesses. i decided to start a legitimate, legal company of my own. i called it GJK Enterprises. it does rather well. in fact, it is a chief rival of Wayne Enterprises. it is something to fall back on, i suppose. or perhaps it is just the part of me that likes to be a good law abiding citizen. i do charitable work, you know. make contributions thru GJK (because few charities would accept money from any of my less reputable endeavors) i try to keep GJK perfectly clean, not even using it for something as simple as laundering. (however, i do have a separate business that i do use for money laundering. it is a worldwide chain of...laundromats! God, i love that!)

at any rate, i maintain a close friendship with Joker. and Bob, of course, is my right-hand man, at least in my more clandestine endeavors.

let me tell you about a friendly little club called FOB. that stands for Foes of Batman. we sit around, talk, play poker, eat and drink, listen to music, go out to movies, go bowling, have parties for holidays or birthdays or whatever. just like any friends. only difference is, half the time we hold our meetings in Arkham. let's see, there's me, Joker, Pengy, Riddly, Harv, Hatsy, Clay, Croc, the Perfesser, Ivy, Harley, and occasionally Catsy drops by. others join once in a while. oh, we keep out the real loons, like Scarface and that Ventriloquist, um, oh, Bane we make sure to keep out. and... what's his name? lock-up, dead-bolt, some silly thing like that. he was a guard here briefly. the FOB club. oh, it's so much fun.

I really like everyone in Gotham, mostly. good guys and bad guys, it's all the same. we're all just people, living whatever niche destiny throws our way. certainly i respect all the people who run in my circles, like the fine folks in the FOB, but also the do-gooders, like Batsy. i don't know how much they all like me. i especially think the crimefighter set doesn't like me much. i really don't know why. i quite understand that they have to try to foil my plans. occasionally send me to Arkham. that's ok. that's just their jobs. their niche. they have theirs, i have mine. i wish they could understand that. then again, even my friends don't entirely understand my respect for the goody-goodies. oh well.

ah, Arkham. lovely little place. my home away from home. you know, i am slightly less insane than the others around here. still, i was incredibly insulted when the law tried to throw me in Blackgate instead of here. or is it stonegate? ...like i didn't deserve to be locked up with the really great criminals. sure, there are some decent joes in Blackgate. i'm friends with various members of various gangs in Gotham, even rival gangs. Rupert and his boys are all real great guys. but really, i mean c'mon. i belong here in Arkham. nice place. pathetically easy to escape, but sometimes i just come here and stay awhile. life here is really simple. it can be fun. ah, well. i can't stay all the time of course.

doctor bart is always fun to talk to you know. he can make me laugh. but he's not a bad guy. a little deluded, perhaps.

now, the part you've all been waiting for. my love life. sure, i've done Catbabe, Vale, Huntress, Batgirl, Zatanna, Summer Gleeson, even that cute police babe, Montoya. of course Ivy. yeah, she's my second favorite girl in Gotham. the red hair, the green eyes, the...everything else.
but i the girl i really love is Harley Quinn. of course, i can never have her. she's in love with the Joker, and he, in his own fashion, loves her. and i respect them both too much to ever interfere. perhaps some day i'll settle down with Pamela. but i doubt it. no, i think i'll always be a playboy to rival Bruce Wayne. (of course, he only does it to... ah, but perhaps i should not tell you. perhaps you are not aware that he is... and i would never blow his cover. not for you, not for the FOB, not even for Joker)

ok, i'll tell the truth. most of those girls i've never had whilst awake. oh, all right, none of them. but i do think i am making some progress in my relationship with dear Pam. of course she has kissed me rather passionately, once, but that was only because she was trying to kill me. luckily, i had the antidote to her poisoned lips. i never would have dared allow her to kiss me if i did not. she avoided me for awhile after that, but she's getting closer to me again, as a friend. maybe someday...

in my spare time i fancy myself a bit of an artist. i will do sculptures. i write. i paint. mainly, i paint murals. murals. can't you just hear Eldin say that word, murals?

oh, BTW, i am a major shareholder in LexCorp, as well as a good friend of Lex Luthor. Metropolis, in fact, is my other home away from home. another smashing friend i made there is my very good buddy Tempus. seriously, he's one of my best friends in the world. we've pulled a few stunts together, let me tell you...

i am also on the international board of directors of Star Labs. most of them don't really like that, my being a criminal and all, but i am also a scientist. and a multi-millionaire. and a legitimate businessman. and a hell of a good guy.

and you know i really very rarely kill. i try to avoid it whenever possible, and i'm trying to get my friends to cut down too; it is such a nasty habit. and believe you me, i make damned sure any of my hirelings understand just how firmly i feel about this: no fatalities unless absolutely necessary. if you have to, let the job go bust (and if you get busted, my lawyers'll get you out soon enough).

well i should think that that is very nearly enough information about me for now. delighted to meet the lot of you, i am sure.

welcome to Arkham.

kidder.

Personalities