"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

The infant Sikudhani Edna McCoy is not happy.

"WHU WHU WAAAAAAAAA!!"

And as a result, neither is her father, Henry "Beast" McCoy.

"Siku, please, if... if would just point to what you want then..."

"WHAAAAAAA!! <sniffle> WHHHHAAAA!!!"

--It has been over an hour since she started crying and no matter what I do, she won't calm down. It's on days like this that I realize exactly how powerful Douglas Ramsey really was...--

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING*

"Aha! saved by the proverbial bell. Now where did I put that cordless..." Hank frantically begins tossing diaper bags, baby wipes and other assorted child care tools about the kitchen in a effort to find the ever-elusive cordless phone.

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING*

--If only the other residents of our quaint abode would kindly replace the frequently displaced receiver, instances like this could be pleasantly avoided. Now where is that blasted thing.--

*RIIIIIIIIIII...* "Xavier Institute..."

--Damn--

"Oh, hey Sam, this is Kimber, could you get Hank for me? Tell him it's urgent."

"Haaaaaaaaaank! Telephoooooooooone!"

--Woo Hoo!-- "There is no need to scream Samuel, I am in the next room."

"Oh. Sorry, I was tryin' ta' be heard over Siku." Sam walks into the kitchen smirking ear-to-ear, "She's really throwin' a fit today, ain't she." He says in a casual tone.

"Oh dear, our resident kinetic propulsionist has been infected with fatal disease of icemanus jokistis, otherwise known as Drake's Syndrome. I recommend immediate treatment." He gives Sam a sarcastic glance, "Now give me the phone." He said, a little harsher than intended, regretting it instantly. "I am sorry, today's antics have been rather... testing on my patience."

"Don't worry about it Hank, ah grew up with more brothers an' sisters than the mosta ya'll put together. Once ya've lived through one a' Paige's temper tantrums, ya can deal with anything." Sam hands Hank the phone with a nostalgic smile, who grabs it with his left foot and puts it to his ear while trying to feed Siku some baby food.

"Yes, Kimber, I've been working on the Legacy serum we talked about." "No Siku, please don't grab the spoon." "No, I'm sorry, I haven't much time lately to..." Before he can finish his sentence, a furious Siku accidentally smacks the spoonful of baby food with her swinging arms and legs, causing the ugly lime green vegetable paste to fly right into her father's awaiting mouth. "...Kaaaaaaak!!"

"Hank! Hank, are you all right?!" Kimber shouts worriedly from the other side of the connection.

"Fine, just fine." He says choking down the profoundly distasteful substance. "My word, that slime tastes awful. No wonder she won't eat it!" Hank's normally blue features and be seen turning to an aqua-green beneath his thick pelt.

"Hank, what exactly is going on?"

Sam quickly grabs the phone from a distracted Henry and starts talking to her, explaining the situation while Hank tries desperately to kill the awful taste in his mouth. Sam glances at Hank and smiles slyly, who is too busy to notice their conversation.

"Okay, Ms. Lee, ya' got yerself a deal." Sam sets the phone down on the counter and goes over to his sickly friend. "Listen Hank, you just go an' talk ta' Ms. Lee in yer lab, ah'll handle Siku here." He says in his usual eager-to-please tone.

Hank begins to argue, then looks at the furious Siku, then to the phone, then to Sam, then to the ceiling. "Thank you." He says, whispering a little prayer to the guy upstairs then quickly rises and leans on the kitchen counter.

"Now Sam, you need to..." He starts, but is interrupted.

"Ah can handle it Hank, you just go an' take care a' business." Hank puts the phone on hold and looks over his shoulder to see Sam waving good-bye. "Go on. She'll be just fine."

"Good luck, Samuel." He glances at his wailing daughter. "You will most definitely need it." He walks out the door, shutting it slightly, and then down to his lab.

"Okay, so it's just you n' me kiddo. What seems ta' be the problem?" He looks over to the squirming bundle of blue. He tries to pick her up, but she swings her hand down at him angrily. "Hey!" Sam shakes his wounded finger rapidly. "Ah see yer claws are startin' ta' come in there, Siku. Apparently ya' don't wanna be picked up, so why don't we let ole Uncle Sam try an' figure out what's wrong then, eh?"

He walks over to the refrigerator and opens the door, still looking at Siku. She gives him no reaction.

"Right, so ah guess this ain't it. Maybe there's somethin' in the cabinets." His voice is calm and reassuring, trying to keep Siku's attention on him.

"Nope, not this one either." Sam continues around the room until he reaches one that seems to get a reaction out of her.

"Okay, let's be sure this is what ya' want." He closes the bottom cabinet again, the action getting even more excited cries than before. "Yep, this is the one. Let's see... Tupperware, a whole lotta pans, plastic cups, picnic stuff... Hmmm, what's this little thing?"

Sam pulls out a plain, small, blue box of thin cardboard, trying to figure out what it is. Interestingly, Siku responds to it.

"This is what ya' lookin' for? Don't look like much ta' me. Let's see what's in it." He opens the lid and pulls out a small rubber balloon. "No wonder ya' gettin' all exited. This is Bobby's secret balloon stash. Ah remember when, on his first day back with me on the team, he popped me in the head with one a' these things. Man, ah almost..."

His reverie is cut off abruptly by another wail from Siku, apparently tired of being ignored.

"Oh, yeah, sorry 'bout that, Siku." He pulls out a balloon and starts to blow it up. "Look what Unca Sammy got for ya'."

Siku, now a complete turn-a-round from her earlier temper, giggles excitedly at her new toy.

"Ah guess Uncle Bobby lets ya' play with these sometimes. Ya' know, yer the first person he's ever shown this to, never would let anyone else know where it was. He was probably afraid we'd take it from him, ta' stop his pranks. He was probably right, too." He grins devilishly at the thought of revenge he's been planning ever since that day he was hit. "How 'bout we keep this just 'tween you an' me, eh Siku?" He gives her a sly smirk and a wink, then tickles her tummy.

"Ghhhehe." She 'says', laughing playfully, trying to squirm away from the twitching digit.

"Yeah, just us, our little secret. Pass the balloon, Siku!" He says in a fun tone, leaning away slightly and fanning his hands in a catching position. She chucks it at him with all the strength an infant can muster. He maneuvers his hands to keep tapping it back to her. Thankfully, her little claws haven't popped it... yet.

The Lab...

--I really should be up there, Sam must be cursing my name now for leaving him alone to face her wrath.-

"So Hank, what do you think about the mutate DNA strands Dr. Majcomb sent us? Hank?"

--Perhaps I should disengage myself from this conversation and help the poor lad?--

"Hank, I've cured the Legacy Virus."

--What excuse could I use? I have been meaning to speak with her for several weeks now.--

"Hank, mutants aren't hated or feared anymore, so why don't we go jump in the sack?"

--How about I 'accidentally' set off my communicator, and have to report to the War Room? No, too obvious, even for me.--

"Hank, you have an evil clone from the future who's been sent to restructure the world's governments for his evil plot to make all of humanity have blue fur. I am the bounty hunter that's supposed to make sure he dies in a train wreck next Tuesday."

--Or maybe...-- "Pardon? I didn't quite catch that last one. Could you repeat it?"

"Hank, you haven't gotten the last four."

"Really? I'm sorry, I..."

"You don't need to explain yourself, I know you're worried about Siku, but don't worry, Sam can handle it." Hank sighs softly.

"You are correct, of course, perhaps..."

**POP**

"...I should run upstairs really fast and figure out what's going on." Hank almost turns off the speakerphone before he is quickly stopped by another wrathful female.

"Sit your hairy blue butt down, mister! I'm not through with you yet. If there's any sort of real problem, I'm sure Sam would..."

"I know, but..."

"Okay, you can go on a few conditions." Her grin could almost be felt across the phone lines.

"And those conditions arrrrrre?" He says, staring at the ceiling, running through all the possible tragedies that may be occurring as they speak.

"Take me to dinner tonight."

"Certainly."

"The Commerce Club."

"No problem."

"Wear a tux."

"Sure."

"Give me 2.5 kids and a white picket fence townhouse in the country."

"You have my undying word, now may I please go to assist my daughter and her erstwhile companion?"

"You may go, but be sure to be dressed and ready to pick me up at 8 o'clock. Sharp."

"Deal!" And with that, he hits the speaker button off and rushes upstairs frantically. --Please be nothing wrong, please be nothing wrong, please be nothing wrong...--

"Oh my stars and garters..." At the ground level, he sees the crying Siku and the popped remains of a balloon on the ground, with another in Sam's mouth, currently being filled as quickly as mutantly possible. He calms down and decides that his anxiety was uncalled for.

The Kitchen...

"Calm down Siku, it is... was just a balloon. Don't be scared. Here, ya' almost got another one, jus' wait a sec'." He is almost finished with the balloon when a still angry Siku swipes at the thin rubber sphere, popping it while it's still in Sam's mouth.

Beast watches the scene through the crack in the door and nearly bursts into laughter upon seeing the wide-eyed, shocked look on Sam's face, with the tail end of the balloon still dangling from his lip in ribbons.

"Ah guess ya' don't wanna play that game no more." He reaches over and picks Siku out of her seat, who quickly latches on to the grown up, pointing fiercely at the balloon remains.

"BHUH!!" She exclaims at the now ruined wad of rubber with a hateful look.

"Yeah Siku, bad balloon! Bad balloon!" Sam stoops down and picks up the remains of the balloons, almost throwing them into the garbage can when Siku stops him.

"NUHH!" Siku mumbles, trying to grab at the thin material.

"Ya' still want this?" He holds the remains out to her, which she quickly grabs and then hugs to her chest. "Sure thing kiddo, ah know better than ta' mess with a girl who's got claws."

"Fffhuh." She whispers, stroking the pieces softly, then looks up at Sam with an almost sad questioning look. "Ffunuh?"

"What's the matter, Siku? There's nothin' wrong with the balloon. See." He leans close to the wadded material, acts like he's inspecting it closely, then back away cheerfully. "It's all right Siku, it's fine, just a little smaller is all." He says, in a very smooth and reassuring tone of voice.

Looking down at the wad, then back up at Sam's cheerful face, back at the wad, Siku forcefully puts it into Sam's hands, who accepts it happily.

"Ah shall cherish it always, mah young maiden." He says adoringly, taking it all from her then kissing her lightly on the forehead, causing her to smile. She turns suddenly towards the window, and then Sam stuffs all of the balloon pieces into his pocket while she's not looking. Following her gaze, he walks over to the window and looks out, trying to follow her finger as it points towards an open sky.

"What ya seein' Siku?" Puzzled at this new game, he gives her a confused glance, which only furthers her excited pointing.

"BUBHUD!" She exclaims, pointing frantically. Again, Sam looks towards where she's looking, still seeing nothing. Not wanting to upset her, he continues until a few seconds later when he sees the Blackbird de-cloak as it passes below the treeline.

"Those are some keen ears ya' got there, girl." He congratulates her and rubs his hand through her hair.

"AHEM!" Both Siku and Sam turn their heads quickly at the sound, only to see Beast standing in the doorway with a stern look on his face, obviously forced.

"Okay, so maybe they ain't as good as ah thought." Sam laughs lightly and smiles.

Siku brightens considerably at the sight of her dad and tries to squirm out of Sam's hold to get to him. Handing her over gently to Hank's waiting arms, Siku quickly bundles up against her dad's cuddly chest and falls asleep peacefully.

"Ah guess ah tuckered the poor girl out."

"I must thank you for watching over her. How, may I ask, did you manage to deduce that balloons were her desired plaything for this afternoon? I would have never guessed."

"Ways an' means, Hank. Ah'll tell ya' later."

"I am holding you to that promise, Mr. Guthrie. I had spent the better part of 75 minutes trying to figure out what she wanted. I leave you alone for 15 minutes and all her problems are solved. If nothing else, you must tell me the master who taught you such fine skills." --And whether or not they are still holding classes--

"Ah already told ya', ah'm the oldest a' mah eight brothers an' sisters. Ah've got more experience at raisin' young'uns than all a' ya'll in the mansion put together. That's includin' Scott an' Jean."

"I, for one, am most grateful for that experience." He then nods to Siku. "And I would say that she feels the same way."

"Thanks sir, ah 'preciate that. Now tell me, what was that urgent phone call about?" Hank slaps his hand to his forehead, then slowly drags it down his face sourly, causing Siku to stir, but not awaken.

"Damn. In my haste to examine the causative nature of the sound burst of Siku's balloon, I regretfully promised that I would entreat Dr. Lee to a meal at the Commerce Club tonight." He looks at his watch. "And now I have approximately 3 hours left to make all the necessary arrangements."

"The Commerce Club, ain't that expensive?" Hank nods wearily, "Anything else you forgot to mention?"

"Oh yes, I am required to give her 2.5 kids and a white picket fence townhouse in the country. I truly hope that I am not held to that particular obligation."

"Any special way ta' dress? Like in a tux maybe?" He keeps his face remarkably straight.

"Why yes, she did mention that..." a light bulb ignites over his head, "How on earth would you have known about that?!?" Hank's blue face turns an angry shade of purple, "You set this whole thing up!"

"Who me?!?" He throws an exaggerated look of shock and disbelief, "what makes ya say that?" Sam grins devilishly, then turns around to leave. "Now, if'n ye'll excuse me, ah gotta go get that necklace Tab's been eyein' fer the past few weeks. Man, she's gonna scream when she sees it tonight!"

"As will I, very soon." He looks at Siku sleeping, then grudgingly lowers his voice, "And would you mind telling me exactly where you think you will be able to get the financial backing to purchase the aforementioned item?" He throws forced smile.

"Don't worry, yer gonna find out tonight, after ya' get sized up for a tux, o'course." Sam glances at his wrist, pretending to be wearing a watch, "Oh look at the time, ah gotta git before the store closes!"

This causes Hank to look at his own watch and realizes that he's wasted several valuable minutes arguing. "Oh my stars and garters, I have got to get moving! It takes forever to wash MY hair! And reservations! There's no such thing as a tux in my size!" He takes a step forward, looks down at the bundle in his arms. "...and a baby-sitter." He throws an evil glance at Sam. "Would you mind?"

"Course not. After all, it was all a part of the plan." He smirks, then walks off whistling. "Don't worry too much Hank, Kimber's already gettin' the reservations, the costume designer in the basement'll give ya as good a tux as any, and ah'll watch Siku tonight while Tab an' me eat in together. All that, and ah get ta impress her with how well ah handle kids. Between Siku and the Legacy research, ya' ain't left the mansion in almost a month. The night is yours Hank, use it."

"You are far more devious than I would have given you credit for being, Sam." Hank looks up at him, amused surprise plastered on his face.

"Ah've been trained personally by the Prof., Magneto and Cable -- wouldja' expect anythin' less?" He then takes flight out of an open window towards the garage, laughing loudly over the hum of his blast field.

"I believe I prefer the young, insecure and infinitely trustworthy version much more, Siku."

The End

Disclaimer: Siku and Kimber belong to Darqstar, while everyone else belongs to Marvel. The story itself belongs to me.