Another Year Begins
Time Please
     I'm really getting optimistic about the world still being here, aren't I?

Wednesday January 1, 2003
6:25a
     Maybe it won't be here much longer. The next hoop to jump through on the way to war will be the last week of this month. There will be 7 to 10 days for the response to happen, but that's mostly just a courtesy thing so the powers that be can say they have reviewed the report. Then the final intent to go to war will happen. That puts it about 1st or 2nd week in February.
     Kings and Emperors have always been so predicitable. Power and influence and a place in history is all they've ever desired.
     The gum pain might be related to working the jaw, like when eating. The pain happened again last night after laying down and reading. I tried using the mouthwash again, asprin again and ambisoil. It's really the cool water that helps the most for a short time. After that the pain kept on, actually started to bring tears to my left eye. I just laid there and put up with till after 10 again.
     I woke up about 12:30 and it was still hurting some. After that I managed to sleep till 4:30. It wasn't hurting then.
     Out on the porch this morning it was feeling ok. I got to thinking about it and started to stretch my mouth open wide. It started to hurt again. The same thing happened while eating cereal later. And this was even though I was moving my jaw as little as possible. At least it doesn't hurt for long after I stop eating. But that may, will probably change during the day. The last couple of days it's been 2 or 3 hours after eating that the pain would really kick in.
     I'll spend a bit of time on the internet to see if I can find anything about teeth, gum and jaw problems.
     Last evening while outside smoking I saw a few fireworks. One was up the mountain highway in the Hagood mill area it looked like. And another was up toward the west end of town. They're wasn't much going on it looked like. The news reports made it seem like everyone was just staying home and inside. That's probably another sign of the gloom and doom sense of things.
     So. Happy New Year World ... it might even be the last one ... last happy one that is ... sort-of.
4:45p
     This morning was about like past NewYearMornings. I went to the front bedroom and laid down on the floor and dozed a bit. Mom fixed the usual NewYearDay Lunch, greens, blackeye peas and fried jowl meat.
     This afternoon I spent in the middle bedroom packing up the Christmas things. I had gotten some boxes from my house and work for that. The plastic bags were getting old and falling apart. I sorted through all of it and seperated things that had gotten tossed together over the years.
     There's the old tree decreations and some other items that have been around for years. There's also some old wrapping paper, bows and ribbens. I'm sure some of those have been around for decades too. It's odd, but not odd, why we always hang onto old Christmas wrapping paper and bows.
     I found some ribben that I had gotten back in the late seventies or maybe early eighties. There were a couple of bags I had used for packages. I had used colored markers to decreate them. And then there were a couple of boxes I had wrapped the tops in Christmas paper too.
     After that I went over to my house and sat around bit. Then I bathed.
     Drove through Pickens on the way back over here.
     The jaw pain hasn't been too bad during the day. It ached some but hasn't hurt like the last two days. Tonight will tell if there's any real difference.
     I went over to my house early this morning to turn up the heat. On the way back I saw a hawk glide arcoss the road. I went on down to the brige and turned around. I parked the truck, got out and watched them, there were two, sit on a fence post. A pair of hawks on NewYearDay, maybe it's a good omen.
     So that's this NewYearsDay journal entry.

Saturday January 4, 2003
5:55a
     Thursday was about like all days after a holiday time, back to work and not really back in the mood to work.
     The tooth problem didn't seem to hurt as much but it was still letting me know there was a problem. Friday morning I called the dentist to make an appointment. I mentioned how it felt like the tooth would fall apart if I bit down on it. So I got to go up there right away. Oh good it will be taken care of now. But after the dentist looked at it and the xray he explianed all the possible things that it wasn't. That left another fractured, cracked tooth, or rather one in the process of cracking. It's going to be another crown thing. Then he said the office workers would make an appointment for that. Oh great nothing is going to be done and now it's wait till February 20th.
     Such is life it seems, yeap you're hurting, go home and hurt till it's your turn.
     DM, Mickie and Leander was up to see Mom yesterday afternoon too. There's not much new with them, but that's what Mom always says. DM mentioned about the time uncle Bob had a tooth problem. He went to four dentists to find one that could fix the problem right away.
     Called Daniel last evening. It's snowing again up there and will be another 2 or 3 feet.
     I should be writing more in the DoYouRemember file. Robert has done another 4 or 5 pages. He tells longer stories than I can. I just write the little bit that I can remember. Maybe if nothing bad happens today I can do that, just write some.
     The war between Bush and Hussein is a sure thing now. It feels like it is past the point of no return, probably has been since early Summer 2002. ... Oh well enough of that train of thought, it's going to crash anyway.

Tuesday January 14, 2003
5:45a
     Ten days later and I'm not sure about anything anymore. I've wrote some more for the DCofUS page but that's about all. It's mostly just letting the days slide by without much to show for them.
     The tooth problem hasn't been a problem recently. I've actually found myself chewing on that side some.
     There's not been much added to the DoYouRemember files either. I've runned out of old memories already.
     Work has been busy for a change. A spring program I've been working on has been an on again off again thing with some other work. I've lost track of what needs to be changed and added and deleted and otherwise updated and modified.
     Mom has to go to the lung doctor's appointment on Thursday. It's suppose to be raining that day with possible snow and ice. I dread that and really need to get someone to go with me just to be there in case something out of hte ordinary happens. But I'll let that slide by too.
     Bush's war against Hussein will be happening in about 3 more weeks. Some news analyst says it'll be in March but I think it will happen sooner. Like just 7 to 10 days after the UN inspection report.
     I read some about the Hapsburg (sp?) family of Austria and Switzerland in the EB last night. It just re-emphasized how so much conflict in human history has been just the rich and powerfull fighting among themselves. ... with the lives of the common folk. Nothing has changed in 10,000 years of human history.
     That's all recent events (future history) has been. Bin Laden, Hussein, Sharon, Arafat, Bush, Blair, hamas and alqadea leaders, Arabain, Turkey, Korea, Iran and all others are just the current rich and powerful trying to excert their power over each other.
     It's going to be a disasterous war for the States. Most think it's just Hussein, Iraq, North Korean and alqaeda but they don't want to understand that it's the new hundred years war with terrorism. But they, the States' citizenery will learn as the attacks continue to happen within their country. As the hatred against the States grows unhindered by anything their government does to stop it, they will learn. What was it Bin Laden said, make the States suffer and cry like the children of Muslims in Iraq suffer and cry.
     The greatest nation on Earth, in history ... yeah sure. Brought down to its knees by its own president.

Friday January 17, 2003
6:20a
     Not much to say except that I was here again this morning.
     Took Mom to her lung doctor for a regular appointment. She's had broncitis for weeks now. The doctor increased her predisone medicine for a couple of weeks. That's what she should had done weeks ago, call the doctor and get that increased. But she kept putting it off, just wait till the regular appointment time. She makes it more difficult on herself by thinking the way she does.
     It ends up being more difficult on me as well.
     There's been several things come up at work the past 2 or 3 days too. But that's normal. Have to deal with the Mom's appointment, approaching snow, and extra work at the job all at the same time.
     It started snowing about 3:30 yesterday afternoon. It was over by 7:30 - 8:00. But it's cold enough for it to have stayed overnight. The circle road looks like it's melted off though. Probably got ice on it anyway. It was only a couple of inches anyway.
     Time to upload and get on with the morning ritituals. Bye.

Sunday January 19, 2003
7:30p
Woods House
     I was in the front bedroom laying down for a while after lunch today and got up about 2:00. Leander had come up and I heard them talking in the den. We were sitting there when I heard a noisy outside and saw someone up on the road toward the Woods house. I walked into Mom's bedroom to see what was going on. The carport end of the Woods house was on fire.
     I told Mom and Leander as I went back through the den and then got my coat and went outside.
     An elderly couple had moved into the house 4 or 5 years ago. They're originally from Germany and had worked in the DC area and then retired to here. A crowd had already started to gather on the circle road. I heard the sirens on the fire trucks and they shortly arrived. The couple was with another of Mom's neighbors so I went over to them. Of course they were in shock and the cold wind was picking up some too. I went back to the porch to get a chair for her to sit down. She eventually did for a short while. Her husband was wander around and she left to go get him. I spent most of the time with them and to help her keep him out of the firemen's way.
     The crowd had gotten bigger and a couple more fire trucks arrived. One was from the Pumpkintown area. More of the Pickens trucks and water trucks arrived during the afternoon. I think someone said there were Easley trucks there too.
     I learned the elderly man had been cranking one of their cars every day to let it run some. It backfired and that's how the fire started. They called the neighbor across the Ridge road from them and he left to go help them and told his wife to call 911. He helped get them out of the house. The fire was still on the carport end when the fire trucks arrived but it got up into the attic. The wind was from the west this afternoon to. The fire spread down the length of the house. There wasn't much left after about an hour and half except the brick walls and chimney.
     The neighbors in the old Myers house brought some blankets for the couple and then she went back to get a car for the house owners to sit it. It was difficult to get them out of the cold. He kept wanting to do something to help the firemen.
     The Red Cross representative got here after a couple or three hours. They all went down to the Myers house. They usually give the fire victims some vouchers for motel rooms for a few days. It's going to be difficult for them. They don't have any family here and I don't think they ever had any children. He did mention several times the he has no one. It's bad enough to be half young and loose your house. It must be much more bad when you're retired.
     So the Woods house is gone now.

Monday January 20, 2003
6:00a
     This morning I got coffe made and poured a cup and went outside. I usually sit on the porch to sip some coffee and smoke the first cig of the day. This morning I went to the front of the carport, I was going to get the truck warmed up instead. Just as I got to the edge of the carport and was looking north a meteor streeked low on the horizon above the mountain just west of Pinnicle. It was as bright or brighter than Venus. I seldom see meteors much less one so big looking. I wonder what it all means? Especially after yesterday's event.
     I woke up a few times during the night and the first thoughts were about the fire at the neighbors house. It's upsetting for everyone when tragedy strikes close by. I kept thinking about how the old man wanted to talk, or tell the firemen something to help. I eventually walked over to get one so he could tell them whatever it was he felt so important. Now I wish I had thought of doing that sooner. It could have eased his mind some and would have been less tense for them maybe. I'm so slow to think of what needs to be done but that's part of hindsight. And lack of experience with such events too. But now that I think of it none of the firemen thought about talking with them either.
     Now, this morning and still thinking of what to do to help the couple, it would be nice to organize a salvage work group. Try to get what's left of their possessions into some kind of storage area. But I have a job and need to go to work. Besides the insurance people probably have to inspect the site next before anything gets moved. I did notice later that evening that someone had a truck load of things, it looked like drawers of clothes down at the old Myers house. I guess some of the firemen or some other group had already got some things and went down there to see if there was a storage place.
     Well, it's time to get on with the usual morning routine and rituals.

Sunday January 26, 2003
9:40a
     This week has been mostly the job hassle. It's one of those sub-projects that keeps coming back like a bad luck object.
     Besides the job it was extra cold days and nights this week too. Wednesday afternoon I stopped by my house to check on things. It was to get extra cold and I thought about turning the water off and let the pipes drain. I decided not to, just let the faucets drip. At Mom's house and watching the news and weather they were talking temps down in the single digits. I went back over to my house and did what I should have done to start with. Turn the water off and let the pipes drain. Thursday afternoon it started to snow. Thursday night and Friday morning the temperatures were down to 10 and below with highs below 32.
     I really don't know if I've got all those days and events right. I can't think and remember well this week.
     Friday afternoon I learned Joe and Scott had gone to the cafeteria to eat lunch. Joe sat down and started to eat. Scott went to the vending machines to get some things, he heard someone say that man is choking. He turned around to see Joe starting to slump over. He did that Hemrick thing and Joe came back around. He had choked long enough to pass out. Save your bosses life and you don't have to worry about job performance reviews for a few years.
     Everything else is about like it has been for months, depressive and I don't want to talk about it anymore.
     The world would really be better off without national leaders ... or politicians ... or lawyers ... mega, super, ulta, rich individuals and entities ... or lots of other bad people.
4:55p
     I really don't like politicians. They're not trustworthy. But I think that's a given when one mentions politcians anyway. They should never be allowed to lead nations. Especially if they've had a rich person's life. They have no connection with the peasants, except to exploit them in some form or fashion. What do they care who are killed in wars? It won't be anyone they know. At least in the old, ancient world some of the leaders took their chances on the battlefields like the rest of the common warriers. At least to some extent. Then again they weren't politicans, they were warrior kings, emporiers and tyrants.

Monday January 27, 2003
6:25a
     Yesterday afternoon I drove down to Easley to Walmart. Mom had some old pictures she wanted new and better reprints. There's a machine now that can scan pictures and you can do you own enlarging and editting and other stuff. So that's what I did. Stood there and did the touch screen thing and made some better pictures.
     After I finished that I walked around the store looking for a couple of things. One was a small sauce or dessert bowl. I wanted to have one to use as a Chinese, Japanese tea (coffee and drink) bowl. I didn't find them, they must have discontinued carrying them. Then I went looking for tins of sugar cookies like I got during the holidays. They didn't have them out either.
     But the important thing was that while I was walking and looking around I heard, "There's Jerry Hughes." I looked up to see a friend from high school days. It reminded me of the first time we met after my navy years at Tri County Tec. I was standing around in the hall there and he walked up to ask if I was who I was. That would have been 1975. Later he worked at Singer-Ryobi and was there when I left in 1991. Now he's down in Aiken and was up here on the weekend. We talked a bit and I gave him my email addresses.
     It's always strange to meet up with old friends from decades ago. And for it to be such happenstance circumstances.

Tuesday January 28, 2003
6:05a
     I was reading the ABC Iraq board again this morning, it went server busy again. I wonder if my sixpence worth of time ran out again? The timeline keeps getting extended or postponed. It seems to always be another 30 days till the build up is complete. And then there's the nagging problem of the inspectors being there. When they get pulled out will that be the sign? There was talk about the moonless time of the month again the other day too. A surprise attack doesn't make sense anyway, there's no surprise when there's been war talk for 15 months. What's not being talked about? The battles within the States. It's as if none are expected are to happen there. The perpetual beginnings of war that never seems to really start. Why? Who has what advantage under those conditions? Or who can make an advantage for themselves with only the talk of approaching war?
     Enough again of that. On to other items in the to do list.
     Hi Lady. I guess you're still reading here occassionaly. I'm sorry I haven't written much in recent days ... weeks ... months. I guess there just hasn't been much to write about except the everyday routine. Sleep, eat, work. You've started another session of school and I hope your studies are going well. But why should I doubt that? An "A" in physics, or was it "B"! Either way it beats my "F" in dynamics. Maybe that's why my emailing hasn't been active recently ... I flunked the dynamics of making things happen.

Thursday January 30, 2003
5:20a
     Awake at 3:00a this morning, that hasn't happened in two or three weeks. I can blame it on the job this time, or again. It's gotten to be more hassle with too many things to do and not being able to keep up. Plus I still don't know what I'm doing most of the time. Plus not knowing which to do first and how and what to do that will make a difference.
     So anyway I've managed to read the usual discussion board postings and thus waste away the extra hour or two this morning. I should just get into the habit of writing ... something ... anything ... anywhere. I would write some messages to the boards but no one seems to be interested in the aspects of the world situation I'm interested in.
     Oh well. My mind is darting from one thought to another. Nothing productive is going to happen.

Friday January 31, 2003
6:00a
     Yesterday morning I had done the early morning things and went back to the front bedroom to finish getting ready for the day. When I opened the door from the living room to the hall I saw the light was on in Mom's bedroom so I went there to see what was wrong. I had hear her cough earlier but that wasn't all that unusal.
     She said she had been short of breath for a few days, since Sunday, whenever she was up doing things, like going to the bathroom and fixing food in the kitchen. She was trying to decide if she needed to go to the doctor or hospital or what. I guess I asked a few questions about her broncitis and congestion and what else might have changed recently. Then I went on to the bedroom.
     While doing that routine I thought about how the oxygen concentrator had been making a different kind of noise recently. It sounded like a longer and louder hissing sound, like the compressor was leaking or something. The machine has a below normal warning light on it but that never had turned on. I had decided sound was something I just had really not noticed before and may have been there all along. After a couple of years listening to the machine run in the background you just start to tune it out.
     So I stopped back by her room and asked about how her oxygen was and if it felt normal or different. She said she had been hearing something different about the machine too. I told her I would change it over to the big tank in the den and see if that made a difference. Then I asked if she want here breakfast fixed and that's what I did next.
     She went to the bathroom again then went into the den about the time I got that fixed. She said she didn't feel as much out of breath after being up that little bit. We must have talked some about the machine and the sounds it made while she ate. I think I fixed myself some waffles too but can't remember for sure now.
     It was between 7:00 and 7:30 by then and I decided to start calling the air care people. Their answering machine said they would open at 8:00 so we waited some more. I called again then and talked with them. They would send someone up after they had their meeting about who was going where. He thought it would be about 10:00 or so when he would get here.
     I sent email to some people at work to let them know I would be late. The waiting time was spent sitting around in the den, watching some of the morning shows, getting up to go outside to smoke, turning the computer on and off to see what was on the internet news. It was after 11:00 when he got here.
     He was going to check out the machine and started doing that while we talked about the sounds it would make and the difference Mom felt after being on the tank oxygen. I think he was really considering if it needed replacing or not. The he asked what Mom would feel more comfortable with, a new machine or not. She didn't take long to answer and said a new machine. I really thought it odd to even be considering leaving the old machine. It must have been here two years or more. There was only one other machine before and I can't remember why it was replaced now. Seems like something went wrong with it too or else there was a regular swap out period then.
     So anyway he sets up the new machine. Mom seemed to be doing ok with it. We fix and eat lunch and then I go on to work about 12:30. Yesterday after I got back to her house everything still seemed to be ok.
     We brought supper from the Banter Chef last night. Hadn't done that in a long time.
     ....
     The other thing that happend yesterday morning, before all the other stuff .... I was out in the truck letting it warm up and smoke a cig and sipping coffee. I saw some movement on the porch ledge where the brick and screen is. It was a mouse scurring along. I watched it while I finished the cig. I went one around the corner out of sight before I finished.
     When I went back onto the porch it was still on the ledge and in near the corner. I closed the screen to the front door and opened the one on the back. Then I walked over to the corner where it was. It ran back and forth some and even jumped up on the screen once. I was going to get the broom in that corner to push it outside. It climbed down the brick and under the stools that sit there. Then it went under the mophead on the floor and disappeared. I was sure it hadn't gone anywhere else but I guess it went behind the trash cans and the shelves on that side of the porch and out the door I had left open. It just kindof disappeared.
     After work I went by my house like I usually do. I get on the porch and walk up to the door to unlock it. There on the concrete is a red spot and immediately thought some one had been bleeding there. Then I look around more on the porch and see a clump of something and then the other clump. That one looked like the remains of a mouse.
     There's a cat that hangs around the house some and I've seen where it had caught chipmucks and eatten parts of them. I guess that what happened to the mouse this time.
     So it was and one of those odd conincidences that happened, like a thought happening connection. Poofff a live mouse disappears in front of me on one back porch ... and a dead mouse shows up on my back porch.

Monday February 3, 2003
6:50a
     Friday evening Mom sat up to read some in the den before going to bed like she use too. She had been going to bed about 30 minutes earlier than she had been. But that's partly because there's not much worth watching ... feels like I've wrote that before. But anyway things seem to be better with the oxygen machine thing.
     Saturday morning it's back to her getting breatheless and her heart working hard with the things she normally has been doing. She walked into the bed to make her bed but she came right back to the den and sat down. That's much of how Saturday went.
     I was ready for her to go to the hospital to see what else might have changed and might be going on. But as the day progressed she wanted to wait it out. She said as long as she can just sit and not be hurting she alright. There were a couple of comments about one of DM and Mickie's neighbors being found dead in their house one day this week. And then she said people can die while waiting in the emergency room. It was like she was expecting to be able to die in her own home.
     I go wash clothes and then over to my house to hang them up. That was between 8 and 10. It actually felt like then that it would be a good weekend. The weather was warm and bright. I brought a folder from the job to do some work that's been getting behind and was going to do that. On the way back to Mom's house I turned on the radio ... or maybe it was on the way to town later ... gee I don't remember already and that was 2 days ago. But anyway they were talking about the shuttle landing. After a few seconds I realized it wasn't just another new report. Something had gone wrong. I turned the radio off ... I just didn't want to hear stuff like that ... not that day.
     So I get back to Mom's and she's sitting in her chair. I get the trash off the porch and a couple of mailer's with pictures that she wanted to send to Daniel and Robert. On the way to the recycle place may have been when I first heard the news report. It would have been time for the car talk show and instead of it I heard the shuttle news and wondered why the regular show wasn't on. I'm going on about the errands at the recycle place and the post office. It's like no one else had heard what had happened yet. Or else they had and just wasn't talking about it.
     The rest of Saturday I do the dusting and vacuuming and grocery shopping. Lunch is in there somewhere. And then it's just sit around in the den for the rest of the day. I did go back over to my house to get my clothes and turn off the heat so I wouldn't have to do that later. I fix a couple cans of stew for supper. I avoid turning on the tv but after six I do and turn to the etv channel so I wouldn't have to see any of the news. The rest is like most all the other Saturday evenings.
     Sunday morning I hang around waiting for Mom to get up. After 7:40 passes I decide to go on and get the newspaper. She's up fixing her breakfast when I get back and I help her do that. The newspaper is on the table and she sees the big headline and asks what about the shuttle. I tell her it broke up during reentry yesterday morning. As far as she knows I didn't know about till then either.
     Leander came up Sunday afternoon for a visit. She did Mom's hair. It was mostly the usual talk about what's been happening with who and the shuttle thing. She called that morning about coming up and that was mentioned. I told her we didn't know about it till the newspaper that morning. It was mostly a good visit. I stayed here instead of going out anywhere. We eventually talked about Mom's health and then people's health and condition. Mom didn't do much of anything to cause her to breathe hard so Leander really didn't see much of that.
     Oh. Mom's up now and it's after 7:20 and I need to get on with things.

Tuesday February 4, 2003
6:00a
     Took Mom to the doctor in Greenville yesterday afternoon. Re-increased one of her medicines, took an xray and suppose to go back in 5 weeks. Spent more time waiting for the xray than at the doctor's office. Ran out the tank out of oxygen toward the very end and changed it in the lobby. We left to go over there about 2:30 and it was 6:30 when we got back.
     The wind and rain came last night. The wintery mix on Friday has been changed to ice.
     Can't keep up with the work at work, can't think about much of anything but troubles, can't do this, can't do that. Worry worry worry.

Monday February 10, 2003
6:10a
     The xrays showed no changes in her lung condition. That doctor consulted with another doctor and called in a cough medicine perscription. She's been taking it for the last few days and may be improving now. But that's not a whole lot of improving.
     DM, Mickie and Leander came up to visit last Tuesday. Leander came up again later in the week. Lucille came Saturday to do Mom's hair.
     Saturday when I went to get the groceries I met the elderly couple whose house burned back in January. They're living in a rented house just out the Ridge road a quarter mile away. They've got a new car and she said she's scared to drive it mostly because it's different I guess. She wanted me to ride with them some that afternoon so that's what I did.
     We went out Gravely road, Meese's Mill, Big Rock and back by Nine Times, Meese's Mill again, Shadey Grove and Red Hill. She drives really slow, less than 30 miles per hour.
     Back at their place they wanted me to sit and have coffee and cakes with them so I did that too. The house is un-furnished and all I saw was the small kitchen table with chairs. I guess I had thought some of the groups that helped them after the fire would have gotten them some furniture too.
     Sunday I woke up at 3:00 and really didn't sleep well before that either. The rest of the day was spent resting and dozing. I did some of that in the morning and then after lunch I went over to my house and layed on the couch for about two and half hours. Then I spent a little time sitting out in the truck like I usually do when I'm over there.
     I did manage to get the house warm enough do a bath over there. I think it was the first time I cleaned up over at my house this year. Then I sat in front of the computer and looked at pictures on the internet. It's probably the first time that computer has been on since sometime in December. Then I finished putting my clothes back on and closing up the house again.
     I wrote a message for the ABC board yesterday morning too. It didn't stay, got deleted soon after it was posted. It was about forecasting the fallout from the war that's about to happen. I really should just give up following that board ... for the unteenth thousandth time.

Wednesday February 12, 2003
6:10a
     Dumped some of the recent writings on to the Terrorism2002 and DCofUS pages.
     I had thought most of what's happening now would be long after I was dead. Like in about 30 or so more years. But I'm always wrong, aren't I?
     The Rise of the States has reached the crest of the highest ridges. The Decline down the other side begins now. It's going to be a long, steep, fast tumble and slide. The avalanche will sweep away most of world as well.

Monday February 17, 2003
5:55a
     It started to ice up some about 11:00 Sunday morning. There wasn't much then and most of the afternoon it didn't do much. I went out about 3:00 and drove up the Pumpkintown Highway and then east on 11 for 3 or 4 miles. There wasn't any ice there except up on the mountain sides. I drove back over Ambler School road and there was some ice there. Glassy had some too. Out Gravely road there wasn't any. It started back about 5:00 and now the last of the freezing rain is over in Georgia and Oconee county. If it hurrys up and passes through maybe it won't get too bad here. The weather website says it's suppose to start warming up later this evening. It's holding right at 32 or 31 degrees here now.
     There's still ice on the trees this morning. It did not warm up like the weather predicition said it would. But that's normal for predicitions to fail. At least it didn't keep on raining last night else there would be lots more ice thise morning.
     Work isn't productive and hasn't been for weeks. I get stuck with these jobs to do that I don't know how to do and no one else wants to do them either. I was composing code for some spring programs earlier but that has fallen by the wayside. Doing that is the only thing I've ever enjoyed doing. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do since high school days. Now it's 36 year later and I'm still not doing what my career was suppose to be.
     I should have gotten in on that Y2K code rewrite event. Would have made $75-100 dollars an hour for 2 or 3 years and would have been able to permenantly retire. But no, I didn't jump on that fast moving wagon for the ride either. I'm not going to around for the next go around with that problem either even though some of them fixes were good for only 20-30 years.
     This Bush-Hussein war in waiting isn't helping anything either. It's perpetual anticipation of pending doom. It's reached the point where it should just happen, get the event over with so the world can start rebuilding itself. No, that's not right either. It's more like get on with the decline and collapse till the systems reach bedrock and then start the rebuilding.
     Yes, ninety percent of the event is about oil but not the immediate or short term gains. It's the long term that matters. The fall will take 20 to 30 years, following the crude oil production decline. That decreasing consumation rate of change will never happen and even if it did that only extends the decline.
     The other ten percent is only world politics and personality conflicts. It's individuals with power that really should never have been given to them.
     Merchant empires supporting the political regimes ... hasn't that been the theme during human history?

Wednesday February 19, 2003
5:45a
     It was about prescriptions, again, this week. A couple of her regular medicines had no refills. I knew that the last time I got them. She would have to go see the doctor to get new ones. But she never made an appointment and this was the last week she had medicine for. She also thought there were still new prescriptions on file at the pharamcy too. But I knew there wasn't. So Monday and Tuesday was getting tense with the running around getting call in prescriptons and worrying over something going wrong and her running out of them. I went to the pharamcy first to check what their records showed. It was the same as I had kept. The lady there said they could fax a request to the doctor and I let them do that. The result was getting one of the needed medicines and one that wasn't needed. The next day I went by the doctor's office to get a call in for the other one. The new prescription was called in but it's still one day too soon to get it. So I have to go back today or tomorrow to get that one. I was also informed she would have to see the doctor before getting anymore. So it was just like last fall when I had to go through the same thing.
     After all that I sat in the truck over at my house and tried crying some. I can't cry anymore. I guess there's just not any emotion left in me. I shook on the steering wheel some and half screamed some. "I'm not suppose to have to go through this stuff," "It's not suppose to be like this," and/or other words. It's only going to get worst too and I'm not going to be able to take those types of situations by then.

Thursday February 20, 2003
6:20a
     Battle stations everyone. Grab a hold of something and hang on, we're all going for a ride.
     Early warning signals detected and online: preparing citizens for terrorist attacks, evacuation advisories sent to immediate war zone. Inspectors withdrawl coming up next.
     Parallel processing of military buildup and allied coalition development failure. Diplomatic systems failure. Externally forced coup failure. Internal anti-terrorism financing failure. Triple war front capability failure. Internal economic systems failure. Mega-coporation greed suspression failure. Partisian politics overload failure. Debate/argument solution system failure. Dealing for support from allies overbudget failure. Expecting rational cooperation from irrational dictator failure.
     Battle stations everyone. Grab a hold of something and hang on, we're all going for a ride.

Friday February 21, 2003
5:50a
     Well ... I've sit here long enough trying to think of something worth writing. It's not going to happen. Bye.

Tuesday February 25, 2003
4:20a
     I have a 7 day sleeping or rather not sleeping cycle. Monday-Tuesday night is 4 hours followed by increasing periods of sleep up to about 6 or 7 hours. Then on Saturday and Sunday I do little more than the required chores and spend the daytime laying around. On Sunday-Monday night I'll sleep soundly about 7 hours. Then it starts all over again.
     About the war, terrorism, Bush-Hussein, Mideast, North Korea and all, this level of tension and stress was not suppose to be happening now. All these things were to happen in another 20 - 25 years when the oil reserves dropped down to the last 25-30 percent. I had thought in recent years that I would already be at the end of my days when this era of civilization began to collapse. But now I will have to live out my days during the earliest stages of the decline. They will be shortened too, or even more so, by the struggle to survive as long as possible. But so will 100s of millions others.
     My work has already been suffering from it all. Depression is setting in more frequently and lasting longer. It a combination of my personal resposibilities as well as thinking about world events. I haven't produced any really usefull work in 2 or 3 months. It's all been doing just enough to by without knowing if it does any reall good. I really shouldn't be doing mechanical enginneering, the real analytical stuff is not there. Me trying to solve design problems with all the mechanical equations is like Earl or Joe trying to write computer code to solve the problems.
     I need to make some use of these early hours to write some of the Do You Remember things. Later.

Tuesday March 4, 2003
6:10a
     I'm still here and that's about all I can say. Take it as meaning one day is just like all the others before and those after as well.
     I did go for a ride Sunday afternoon. It was the first sunny and warm day in weeks. That Spring thaw and ice breaking after another long cold wet Winter. It was just up to Table Rock on Hwy 11 and back by the old country roads.
     The war(s) will be starting in 7 to 10 days. It's going to be a really bloody mess for everyone. The States is for sure in its declining phase. It feels like the last 2 or 3 cars on the roller coaster ride are at the crest of the the first and highest peak. The mass of the leading cars is just beginning to pull them over. Then the ride begins. It's going to crash this time around.

Wednesday March 5, 2003
6:00a
     There's been that sense, feeling, aroura, karma that things just are not quite like they should be. Even the tenseness and uneasyness of a dreaded and unavoidable desaster does not account for it. There is still something lurking among the ruins of 9112001 that is not satisfied. Too much, too fast, too intense came online those first 7-10 days.

Thursday March 6, 2002
6:00a
     There are cart loads of wagers on this series of world events. Politicans and tyrants (addicted gamblers) should never have been allowed to join the game.

Saturday March 15, 2003
6:20a
     Thursday evening Mom's neighbor called about one of toilets leaking water onto the floor. She had called about 5:00 before I had gotten here and then again a little later to say she thought she had it turned off. I called her anyway, after eating supper, and she said it was ok then. But she called back later, it was still leaking water.
     So anyway I went down there after 8:00 and looked at it. The shut off value was turned completely off. I did that but it kept putting water into the tank. The float value had gotten raised and the water level was high enough to leak out through the handle opening. I fiddled with it enough to get it shut off. The float value mechanism will have to be replaced.
     So that was this weeks big adventure. Otherwise everything is as depressing as always.
     Some of Mom's medicines are low and this time she has to go to the doctor to get new prescriptions. I've been reminding her of that but she still hasn't made an appointment. Of course I'm worrying myself sick wondering if all will get taken care of in time. She thinks waiting till the last minute will keep everything in order.
     And I'll just keep my thoughts to myself and suffer through whatever happens just like always.

Tuesday March 18, 2003
6:00a
     Full Moon day ... weird stuff happens during the full moon. Spring Day happens on Friday ... good things happen with the arrival of Spring ... but not this year.
     I wish I could just go away somewhere and pretend I don't have any worries for a really long time. I've got no one to talk with. I wouldn't talk about the sad things with them even if they were someone to talk with.

Tuesday March 25, 2003
5:20a
     Moving on to the next page ....