Last weekend, people all across the nations set their clocks forward one hour, or at least they were supposed to. This practice is called Daylight Savings Time, and I think it's disgusting.
You see, I was born and raised in Indiana, one of the few states bright enough to ignore DST. In Indiana, with exception of the regions surrounding Chicago and Louisville, we only have to set our clocks if the power goes out. Unfortunately, I'm in Missouri now.
Daylight Savings Time is one of the stupidest, most inane institutions I've ever come across. The idea that time just changes, that while your clock was right five minutes ago it could be wrong now, is ridiculous.
Twice every year, millions of people are forced to change all their clocks by an hour. If you happen to have a lot of clocks, this might not even be easy. How many of you could even say why we do it? I bet many of you couldn't.
The reason is so we can "save" an hour of summer sunlight for the daytime, instead of having the sun rise before anyone wakes up. Why is this necessary? We get 16 or more hours of sunlight a day in mid-summer. If that isn't enough sunlight to get everything done, then you need to get up earlier.
I think we need to worry more about saving some nighttime. The sun doesn't set until 8 or 9 p.m. in June, which is cramping my darkness. The sun should already be down before everyone starts hitting the bars.
And what happens if you forget to change your clock at the appointed time? Your whole schedule is ruined. You miss classes, or work, or an important date or something you thought you were on time for.
It's not hard to forget Daylight Savings Time, either. There isn't any set date for "Spring Forward"; instead it hops all over the place like Easter. If you miss the news that day or your mother doesn't call to remind you, you're screwed.
Maybe hundreds of years ago DST was a good idea, back when you couldn't go out at night for fear of being eaten by a dragon or an overanxious necromancer, but it's completely worthless in a society that has artificial illumination. There's no point to it.
If the Arrow had come out last week, I'd have urged everyone to buck the system and not change their clocks. That's right: damn it all, just subtract an hour from any time anyone tells you.
It's too late for that, though. Your clocks have already leapt ahead, if you remembered (or if you have Windows 95.) There's nothing I can do but rant.
Ugh. All this thinking about DST is making me too ill to write a long column. Oh well.