well, it's time for yet another weekly sermon, so, just as you've come to expect, there's a sermon waiting for you. what is this week's sermon about? you wonder? well, i'm not going to tell you.

there are many contrasting theories as to why i can't or won't divulge the subject matter of the piece you're now reading. the leading theory is that i don't know myself; a force i won't explain is creating an clasping tension & i have been completely unable to think of a theme for this week's lecture, let alone tell you what it is. in response to these accusations, i would like to plead the fifth amendment.

another theory is that i'm just one mean old bastard & i get my jollies from yanking the chains of my audience all i can. now sure, i'll admit that it's fun to play with people's minds, but whyever would i want to do such a thing to the few precious readers i have? if everyone thinks i'm a meanie nobody will want to play with me.

another theory, big among my more devout followers, is that this, yes, sermon #28, is thick with allegory, metaphor, and other forms of deeper meaning. they say you must meditate on sermon #28 all day & all night, only then may you become enlightened. i like that theory. it's pretty close.

at any rate, i'm not telling you. so there. neener-neener-neener.