i was inexplicably unable to access geocities from campus last week, hence the delay...

a letter appeared in this month's issue of preacher (perhaps my favorite comic: highly recommended) from some young hack poet who was begging garth ennis for a subject for a poem. the subject garth gave was "a gnu" in case you're interested, but this is all just irrelevant background info for the real subject i'm getting to.

i don't have the issue at hand (it's in my room; i'm at work) so although i use quotes i'm not sure of the guy's name or exact wording. anyway, while describing his work, the hack explained that he writes free verse, never rhyming because "it can't be done reputably".

garth dismissed that comment with a "bloody hell" & moved on. i couldn't agree more, although i will not be restricting my response to 2 words.

it's talk like this that makes pseudo-intellectuals so irritating. they talk with an air of assumed expertise that is neither warranted nor poetic. people like this make it almost embarrassing to be an artist; their pretentiousness drags down the public image of artists, creating a stereotype of jaded snobs who wouldn't know truth or beauty if they stabbed them between the eyes.

anyone who off-handedly dismisses a device or technique as something that "can't be done reputably" is honestly confessing to something quite different. what they're actually saying is that they don't posess the creativity or talent to make that device/technique work effectively. whether he realizes it or not, the hack who said rhyme "can't be done reputably" was really only saying "i can't rhyme reputably. i'm a big sucky ponce, a talentless poseur who can't accept my own mediocrity."

rhyme is as legitamite a literary device as metaphor, onomatopoeia, alliteration, assonance, or any other. why? because it sounds good. and honestly, what's the point of a poem that doesn't sound good?

i'm not suggesting that all poets should suddenly become rhyme-nazis, meticulously enforcing their rigid rhyme schemes like browning, spencer or pope reincarnated. i'm not even defending all rhymed poetry (a lot of it, to be honest, is just crap slung out by those who don't realize a poem doesn't have to include chronic end-rhyme.)

it doesn't take an artist to just dismiss rhyme simply because it's old & often poorly-used. any illiterate wag can do that. the trick these pseudo-intels need to learn is not to give up, but to make these old devices & techniques work again, to make them new & minty-fresh.

rhyme doesn't only have to go at the ends of lines, folks. rhyme can go anywhere. & internal rhyme is far cooler than end rhyme could ever be anyway.

i'd include examples, but won't to preserve space. instead, if you're itching to see what i've done to revitalize rhyme, you'll have to visit the poetry section of the page.