if you're not registered to vote yet, get out & do it now. if you're 18+, in the u.s, & don't vote, i will disown you. now, for once, we move on to a topic not related to the election.

but i haven't thought of any such topic yet, so until i do i'll keep talking about elections... just kidding. this week's sermon is about insects.

i've always been mildly phobic of insects. not "i can't go outside or else the bugs will get me" phobic, & not "carve myself open to release the bugs underneath my skin" kind of phobic either, but insects have always made me uneasy. supposedly phobias are caused by some sort of childhood trauma, so i've read, but if i had any psychologically-scarring insect-related encounters as a youth i sure don't remember them. i never fell into a beekeeper's hive, or got trapped in the insect dimension, or had red kryptonite turn my head into an ant's head, & i those are just the silly things that never happened. i can't even think of anything plausible that might've happened.

still, i don't like to go near insects. i can't even step on them without getting nervous, as though they could somehow burrow through my combat boots & take control of my brain. & if a bug actually touches or lands on me, i flip out, flailing my body around like my limbs magnetically repel each other.

this can be quite disconcerting, especially considering the odd insects we get near the building where i'm currently working. i've never seen a wider assortment of insects anywhere other than the insect exhibit at the zoo. they have all kind of shiny bugs, metallic-looking bugs... essentially bugs in all the latest designer hues. it must be the magical combination of suburb, interstate, & rich yuppie snootiness that draws in so many exotic insects. even better, in early fall each year the ladybug population near that building explodes. just this afternoon, literally 3 different ladybugs flew into me or landed on me in the space of 15 minutes, & they're only at the beginning of their cycle. by the time they're in full bloom it'll be like the plague of locusts, & this seems to happen every year.

now some bugs don't bother me as much as others. houseflies aren't too frightening (although they still better not touch me). ants (at least the ants we have around here) don't get to me much either. in general smaller insects are less unnerving, with the obvious exception of the dust mites. dust mites are so small they are invisible to the eye. they live inside your bed, pillows, & everywhere else you thought you were safe. if you've ever seen a microscope photograph of a dust mite, you will know that they are the scariest-looking creature that ever really existed. they might not have the stereotypical bedbug bite, but millions of people in the world are allergic to them, so they cause their share of stress. it's a good thing you can't see these little buggers, or i surely would've gone crazy long ago.

but the weirdest thing about insects is that they make such beatiful music. birds get all the attention. sure, many birdsongs are beautiful. & maybe a single insect can't sing its own melody like certain birds can. that's okay, because insectsong is far more minimal, more primal.

my parents' house is in a cosy little neighborhood. we're still definitely inside the city, but our street is small & there are trees aplenty around. when i go outside at night to smoke i can hear them. it's not just a few crickets in a bush. that, i'll admit, is a pretty lame aural experience, little better than 98 sync or korn bizkit. there are thousands of insects in all directions, crying out to each other. i'll hear crickets, cicadas, & dozens of other types, hundreds if not thousands of each, each one contributing one tiny tone. the net effect is being surrounded by sound, "nature's own stereo" as i call it, a totally alien sound which is somehow both warming & chilling at the same time. it is a hum that is constantly morphing in volume, pitch, harmonics, & spatial location. it's like listening to the universe vibrate.

in other words, it's damn beautiful. that's quite a nice treat when i'm forced to go outside for a cigarette. if only i could stay outside & enjoy it without being brutally mauled by mosquitos. my blood type must be o-tasty.

so i really don't know what to tell you about insects. they're creepy & ugly. individually i don't like them. but when their powers combine, they form captain planet... i mean megazord... i mean voltron... i mean, they make some of the most lovely ambient music imaginable. & they do it rather unintentionally, while just going about their standard mating routines or what-have-you. kind of like me pissing on a canvas & creating the mona lisa.