you probably assume that i already have a few girlies lined up for dates by now. after all, such is the power of the u2 ticket. why, just today, a cute co-worker i don't know asked me about the tickets & told me that she loves u2 (i swear this is a true story). furthermore, when she found out that the concert had not happened yet, she said "don't have too much fun without me." my mind reeled for 20 minutes afterward with the (almost certainly unintentional) sexual connotations of that comment.

but alas, a full 8 days after winning the tickets (& only 51 days before the concert itself), i have no date yet. because no matter how powerful the u2 tickets may be, they are no match for the power of timing. & recently my timing has been a little off.

timing is everything when you want to ask out someone who works in an area of the building you have no excuse to be in & has no company email or phone extention (at least if she does by now, that hasn't trickled into the intranet address book). i can only chance to see her outside during a cigarette break, & she never seems to be out there at quite the same time each day. serendipity does not like to be scheduled. so if i'm really lucky i'll get to talk to her for 5 minutes, but will then go days of either not seeing her at all, or catching her only in passing, with enough time to say "hey", smile, & then kick myself when she's gone.

you might be wondering why, with a mere 51 days before the event, i'm even wasting my time waiting to ask this one girl. you do have a point. after all, with the instant sex appeal these u2 tickets provide me, i could hold a lottery for eligible bachelorettes to win the date (rigged, of course, so i could pick the winner, or better yet a beauty pageant or other competitive challenge in a sexy game show format). u2 tickets have the power to seduce anyone, break up marriages, heal the sick, make statues cry blood, & revive the dead (but not the grateful dead... ick!). clearly, with them in my grasp i could woo anyone.

the problem is, as you really should remember because i was only writing about it last week, that this girl was at the top of my list before there was a list. when i first devised the plan to get a date if i won the tickets, this girl was who i had in mind. the plan was built for her. & i essentially promised not only myself, but you my flock, that i would not ask anyone else until i'd tried her. to abandon her for another would be a pyrric victory, practically a failure in terms of the original plan. so as much as i share your concern about the looming deadline, it is my duty to all of us to continue on this course for now. obviously with the awesome might of the u2 tickets i am unstoppable. i owe myself this challenge. i shall vanquish this beast called timing, & i shall make a chalice of its head, that i may drink the warm blood of my enemies as it is spilt in the face of my wrath. & woe be to hse who would dare deny the tremendous force of the u2 tickets.

all that, & i'll still get a date.

next week: probably something other than u2 tickets