The Church of God’s Almighty Baptizing Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

Bill Baldwin

I’m not young enough to know everything -J.M. Barrie



"Are you asleep yet?"

"I would be if you weren’t bugging me", she complained, 
kicking off the covers.

"I can’t get to sleep.  I guess I’m still trippin"

"You’re what?"

"I’m tripping.  I took some acid today with Chris."

"I didn’t know you did that kind of shit."

"I don’t usually.  It was actually my first time."

"Does it make you not be able to sleep, or are you just 
still high?"

"When I close my eyes I see colors and shapes.  I’m 
exhausted but I can’t fall asleep.  Let me write that 
down.  That could be the start of a song."

"Why did you take it?"

"I was bored, I had nothin to do, Chris had some, so 
I did it."

"What did it feel like?  I mean did you freak out or 
see things?  Were you scared or happy or what?"

"I saw everything.  I saw God today." 


******************


He was flipping through last months Penthouse, rubbing 
himself through his shorts and preparing to jack off 
when the doorbell rang.  "Who is it?"  He said hoping 
he wouldn’t have to open the door.

"It’s Chris."

"Hold on."  He threw the magazine under the bed, checked 
his crotch in the mirror to make sure it wasn’t noticeable 
and went to the door.

"It’s about time. Why’s it locked anyway, am I interrupting 
something?  We’re you having yo’self a little solo luv 
makin?"  Chris joked.  His smile showing a faint tar stain.

"Man, shut up and sit down."

"Your sure it’s OK?  I don’t want to sit on any peter tracks 
or nothin."

"Are you forgetting, I’m the one who has a girlfriend.  
Your the one who’s still a virgin."

"Let’s not go there.  I came by because I scored some acid."

"Cool, but I’m not interested.  I heard Amy’s cousin’s 
friend did it one time and ended up in a mental institution"

"That’s bullshit.  Every story you hear is about someone 
who knows someone who knows someone who got fucked up on 
acid.  Have you ever actually met someone who went crazy?  
I trip all the time and I ain’t in no loony bin."

"That’s not saying you shouldn’t be."

"Listen, I came over here to share my good fortune with 
you, and what do I get for my generosity?  Look outside.  
It’s beautiful.  You and me are going to trip and do some 
crazy Jim Morrison shit.  Besides you have nothing better 
to do."

He saw the corner of the Penthouse sticking out from under 
the bed and thought about the alternatives.  He thought 
about what Chris said.  It was true of all his friends 
that had tripped and  he didn’t actually know anyone who 
was made insane by it , "all right lets do it."

Chris dug into the pocket of his cutoffs and retrieved 
a zip lock baggy with two little blue squares inside.  
Careful to only touch the very edge he picked one out 
and gave it to him.  "Put this under your tongue."

"How long do I keep it there?"  He felt the paper getting 
soggy under his tongue, holding it in place as if it were 
a thermometer.

"Hold it there for about 20 minutes and then swallow it."

"How long does it take before you start feeling it?"

"Bout half an hour"

"How long does it last?"

"I hope you don’t have nothin planed for the next 12 hours."


****************************


"Taking LSD because your bored and everybody else does it 
doesn’t sound like the beginning of a spiritual experience," 
she said, looking at him sceptibly.

"Yeah and virgins don’t think they’re going to give birth 
to a God either"


***********************

"I think it’s starting to kick in.  I’m starting to feel 
a little funny"

Chris started picking at the flower design on the chair.  
His pupils were dilating and his face was flush.  "Let’s 
go to the park before I end up tearing up your couch."

"The park is on the other side of town."

"So."

"So, how we gonna get there?  I’m starting to really feel 
it.  I sure as hell ain’t driving."

"Pussy!  I’ll drive.  I drive all the time on this shit.  
It’s no big deal."

They got into Chris’s Impala and started for the park.  
He messed with the radio dial, flipping through stations, 
finally ending on one playing Porno for Pyros.  "Been 
caught stealing… once when I was five…", blared from 
the speakers.  Each note sounding as if it was tearing 
the speaker.  He took the main road through downtown 
stopping for only one green light.

"I feel so happy."

Chris laughed, "it’s just the acid".

"It’s like I’m prenatal again.  Like the whole fucking 
world is a giant womb.  Just floating in peace and 
serenity.  Can you remember that feeling?  No thoughts 
about God because he was the fluid that surrounded you, 
the sack that contained you, the cord that connected you.  
I can feel it right now.  He’s like your pinkie toe, you 
never think about it.  It never does anything to let you 
know it’s still there and yet you never worry about it.  
I’m telling you he’s here right now.  He’s in the back 
seat.  He is the back seat.  He’s part of me and you."  
They pulled into the park entrance and passed a sign that 
read "Park closes at dark.  No alcoholic beverages 
permitted."  Orange chunks of the sun forced themselves 
through trunks and branches.  Chris parked the Impala next 
to an old yellow bug.  They got out of the car and left it 
for a "medium difficulty, 2 mi. round trip" trail.

"You know what I’m saying though, Chris?  Can you feel it?  
Can you feel God as you breath the air in? Can you see him?  
Look at the trees.  The trees.  The undersides of the leaves 
as they twist in the wind.  The birds only let themselves be 
known when they choose to leave one branch for another. As 
much as they’re hidden from my sight I can sense there 
presence."

They stopped, climbed an embankment and laid down staring 
up at the sky through dancing silver and green leaves.

"I thought you didn’t believe in God", Chris said, eyes 
following a feathery bug purposefully floating through 
the air.

"I didn’t.  I guess I did, I just didn’t want to.  I’ve 
always felt abandoned.  It’s easier to pretend there’s no 
God.  It takes care of so many loose ends."

"What are you gonna do when this acid wears off and your 
back on earth again?"

"I don’t think it’s going to make a difference. It’s 
different now.  It’s like I’m seeing and experiencing 
everything for the first time.  I’m being baptized right 
now, baptized by sense and perception."

"Have you ever been baptized for real? You know dunked 
in water, prayed over and all that?"

"No, but everyone else in my family has.  I wander if 
they felt the same way.  When they came up for air and 
their eyes cleared, did they see the world differently?"

**************************

"That sounds pretty cool.  Did you really feel like that?"  
She was sitting up against the headboard, the small of her 
back supported by a doubled over pillow.

"I think I experienced a glimpse of heaven."

"Literally or figuratively?  I mean don’t you think heaven 
is a place we go to when we die?"

"No, I think it’s a state of mind. Would you scratch my 
back?"

"I guess, roll over."

Her nails felt good scraping from side to side across 
his dry back.  "A little over to the left.  OK, down 
some. Yeah, right there."  He regained his train of 
thought and continued.  "Jesus said the Kingdom of heaven 
is within you.  Buddhists believe the same thing.  I think 
we have lost touch with it.  All this craziness we create 
in our lives takes us further and further away.  Every 
worry about money or death or just our future in general 
blocks out that light.  

Children are the closest to heaven.  That point in their 
life before we teach them prejudice and worry.  Haven’t 
you seen it in their eyes?  It’s like if you stare into 
their eyes all you’ll see is pure joy and unfathomable 
wisdom.  If we could only take our minds back to that 
childlike state.  That state of knowing nothing and 
everything at the same time.  That’s heaven.  That’s 
inside each of us.  We just have to find it again.

Scratching his back until he fell asleep, she thought 
about what she would wear tomorrow, that last ten pounds 
she had to lose, and the early meeting with her boss 
Monday morning.