posted by John Khuu 12:54:47 PM
posted by John Khuu 12:54:47 PM
For a friend. . .
"I know a man
He came from my home town
He wore his passion for his woman
Like a thorny crown
He said, "Delores
I live in fear
My love for you’s so overpowering
I’m afraid that I will disappear"Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away"
--Paul Simon (Slip Slidin' Away)
posted by John Khuu 12:46:30 PM
Others see you as a wise person.
12 15 16 36 38 40 4 5 9
posted by John Khuu 1:40:22 PM
J You have a potential urge and
the ability for accomplishment.J
Daily Numbers 3 4 2 Lotto Six #'s 33 39 32 26 28 18
posted by John Khuu 9:44:57 PM
"I need to get my beauty rest, if only there was a quiet time to get inner beauty rest," said Artie as he parted for sleep. Do we ever focus on ourselves alone to deepen our soul-deep beauty? How is the inner beauty of someone the beholder sees invisible to that someone? Modesty? Denial? Disbelief?
posted by John Khuu 11:55:06 PM
My Moon Sign from astrology.com:
Your Moon is in Virgo
You are very sensitive, cautious, and shy about showing others your feelings. Though you may love and care for someone a great deal, you rarely express those feelings openly and freely. Very often your love for someone will be expressed by trying to help them, doing something tangible to benefit them, or serving them in some way.
It is also difficult for you to receive warmth, affection, or appreciation, for you often feel that you don't really
deserve it or that "they don't really mean it". You can therefore seem rather cool and aloof, much more so than you
feel.
A deeply ingrained critical attitude often makes you difficult to live with. You need to learn to be gentler and less
of a perfectionist with others and with yourself.Who else has their Moon in Virgo?
Jodie Foster, actress
Shirley MacLaine, actress
Dolly Parton, singer
Shania Twain, singer
Vanessa Redgrave, actress
Jay Leno, comic, television host
John Travolta, actor
Dalai Lama XIV, spiritual leader
Bill Cosby, comic, actor
Dustin Hoffman, actor
John Bradshaw, self-help guru(Note: I do not personally believe strongly or deeply in Astrology, but I take it as a faucet in trying to understand who I am and world/environment around me. And maybe some of you will understand me better.)
posted by John Khuu 2:25:48 PM
Friend : wake up
John : [The Matrix Napping away message]
Friend : this week I've been sleeping like 12 hours and then 3 hours during the day
Friend : it must be the moon[Undisclosed thoughts]. Hmmmm...such weird connections I make.
posted by John Khuu 2:10:15 PM
What a big baby won't somebody save me please?
--Counting Crows (Catapult)
posted by John Khuu 8:30:35 PM
"The World I Know" by Collective SoulHas our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.Are we listening
To hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see
That love is gathering?
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one.So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.--end of song--
Feels like no one understands me. Wait, no one does. All my true intentions are mistakenly or misunderstandingly read as being mean or cruel or whatever people read them. I guess it's how things are for certain people in this world. Plague-tarnishing feelings.
posted by John Khuu 8:23:31 PM
"It seems like u're concentrating too much on finding your "self" now," noted SinnDi in a conversation about self-discovery.
posted by John Khuu 11:37:08 PM
Xin Nian Kuai Le!
Gong Xi Fa Cai!
Cung Chu'c Ta^n Xua^n!
Happy Chinese* New Year!
*(or East Asian)
posted by John Khuu 1:43:50 AM
R.I.P. Cocoa (formerly known as Alberto) - my childhood teddy bear.
I just received news of his departure but that was long around since October 2001 or so. A gift to a former girlfriend. A teddy bear that slept with me, lived with me, grew with me, hugged my fears, dried my tears, heard my secrets.
A teddy bear of dark chocolate brown with lemon-yellow paws and mouth with a red, polka-dotted ribbon around his neck. And a masking tape on his nape with faded letters of my name. A red, felt, thumbsized tongue, and a black nose between a set of uneven brown eyes. And a lemon-yellow loop on the top of his head to twirl and carry him. A teddy bear all rugged and beat up but alive--now gone.
A teddy bear appendage ripped after an angry conversation/argument. An appendage taped to a rugged teddy bear now gone.
No pictures of the bear. Just memories of a childhood comfort thrown away by someone who overlooked his importance.
Peace to Cocoa/Alberto. Adieu.
posted by John Khuu 10:52:46 PM
Don't ever lose your slipper to a toilet, you just might not want it back.
posted by John Khuu 5:49:52 AM
from a great close friend of mine. . .
Thursday, February 7th, 2002 11:50 am - ::sigh::
So I worry so much...so much about the friend i somewhat pushed aside because we fed off each other in a all too negative way. Depression looms close over our head when we're together. He was always so busy...so concerned with other peoples problems...often times forgetting about himself. I gave him a nervous breakdown...I abused his friendship. But he still loves me. I miss him so much. And now I'm to far away to just pop in and check on him. Too far to join him for lunch or dinner. Too far to hug a friend. He's such a good person...too good...cares so much more about others than he ever will about himself. He's been sad/mad/frustrated lately and I can't do anything about it. I'm worried....
current mood:worried
current music: S&G - The Sound of Silence
Courtsey of Louis Hunter - Love Sponge journal
posted by John Khuu 10:21:01 PM
While I was away, you called asking for comfort from the "moving" life we face head on. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay behind me.
Last night, he dumped you and kicked you out, but only to beg you back for incoherent reasons. Wipe those monstrous hands from your mind. Stay behind me.
And the phone rang a little past seven in the morning, you were crying and told me that your brother was in critical condition and may not live in two days. Suck in your tears. Be strong for him. Stay behind me.
My heart shining through. A head hanging down low. A kimbo stance reflecting from your eyes. . . ::sigh::Super-friend is now [ IN ]. Once again, I don the cape and emblem of a friend. Don't worry, my frown is washable. My tears. . . enough about them. All I have to tell myself is that, "I am strong, I am strong, I am. . ."
"I'm only a man in a phony red sheet
I'm only a man looking for a dream
I'm only a man in a phony red sheet
And it's not easy…
It's not easy to be me"
Five For Fighting - Superman (It's Not Easy)
posted by John Khuu 7:23:53 AM
My Colorgenics ProfileYou are very ambitious... and because you seek and need recognition - you try in your own way to impress people and you want to be looked up to... To be both popular and admired, you feel that there is a gap which separates you from your fellow man.. or woman, as the case may be ... but this anxiety is an unnecessary one. Keep on the way you are going ... and you may surprise yourself ...
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people, but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat... and someone who understands you is so important in your life...
Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are ... You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.
You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress...You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity, as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be "That I may not always be right but I am never wrong". You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other persons point of view may be right you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong...
You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards ... and come what may ... you abide by them.
Courtesy of Colorgenics - an accurate mood reader
posted by John Khuu 12:06:06 AM
Ever wonder where those type of small planes that advertised by flying a banner of a few words went? Not many people go out anymore to see the banners flying outside. Nowadays, the only banners are the ones that pop up everywhere on our desktop from surfing the World Wide Web.
posted by John Khuu 12:58:38 AM
ihatethisplace,ihatethesepeoplearoundme...becausethingsarenotwhattheyseemforme.ihatemyselfforbeingsocomplicatedandcomplextomyselfandforothers.ihatethese"friends"atUFbecausetheyarefulloffriendshipbrimmingfromtheirteeth.ihatethese"roommates"hereforbeingunderstandingandspacious.ihatemyselfforthinkingtoomuchandmakingdealsoutofsmalltrivialmatters.thisisanotheroneofthoseFU,screwyou,getawayfrommetypeofdays.youwouldn'tknowifyoupissedmeoffornot,butyoumightaswellassumesobecauseiwon'ttellyouinfrontofyourglimmeringteeth.ihatelivinglikethisnotknowingwhatiwanttodoinlife.ihatesmilingthroughmyteethforyou.ihateyouall,onlysomeofyouidon'thateatall.ihateUFpeoplebecausetheyonlyFUup.i'msickofbeingused,offeigninganotherteethfulsmileforyourincompassionateemptysouls.ihatemyselfijustmightslitmyselfawayfromthismessbutwhotheFcares?ido,butdoyou?fromtimetotime,iwishsuicidewasatemperamentallife.i'dcutmyselfawayfromthisplace.iwanttodisappearoutofview,butialreadydidinyoureyesclosedshuttightworld.
hate perpetuates anger.
silence enrages anger.
depression is surpressed anger.
suicide is the bitterness of anger.
ihatemyself,doyou?
posted by John Khuu 3:11:53 PM
ihatethisplace,ihatethesepeoplearoundme...becausethingsarenotwhattheyseemforme.ihatemyselfforbeingsocomplicatedandcomplextomyselfandforothers.ihatethese"friends"atUFbecausetheyarefulloffriendshipbrimmingfromtheirteeth.ihatethese"roommates"hereforbeingunderstandingandspacious.ihatemyselfforthinkingtoomuchandmakingdealsoutofsmalltrivialmatters.thisisanotheroneofthoseFU,screwyou,getawayfrommetypeofdays.youwouldn'tknowifyoupissedmeoffornot,butyoumightaswellassumesobecauseiwon'ttellyouinfrontofyourglimmeringteeth.ihatelivinglikethisnotknowingwhatiwanttodoinlife.ihatesmilingthroughmyteethforyou.ihateyouall,onlysomeofyouidon'thateatall.ihateUFpeoplebecausetheyonlyFUup.i'msickofbeingused,offeigninganotherteethfulsmileforyourincompassionateemptysouls.ihatemyselfijustmightslitmyselfawayfromthismessbutwhotheFcares?ido,butdoyou?fromtimetotime,iwishsuicidewasatemperamentallife.i'dcutmyselfawayfromthisplace.iwanttodisappearoutofview,butialreadydidinyoureyesclosedshuttightworld.
hate perpetuates anger.
silence enrages anger.
depression is surpressed anger.
suicide is the bitterness of anger.
ihatemyself,doyou?
posted by John Khuu 3:09:07 PM
"Things are changing
But nothing changes
And still there are changes
Le roi est mort, vive le roi! [The king is dead, long live the king!]
There is no teacher
Who can teach anything new
He can just help us to remember
The things we always knew"
--Enigma (Odyessy Of The Mind)
Here on this page, I will lay upon to you, the reader, my thoughts that are not intended to teach but to remind us all of our past, mistakes, lessons, and all things that shape our lives.
posted by John Khuu 10:30PM
Woohoo, you are the 
th person to visit this page. I appreciate your visit to my poetry caf?
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(c) 1998-2002 'Bleecker Street' Poet Productions.
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worried