N I'm gonna die one way or another  Think you're clever, huh? Would saving someone be just as easy? |
Dead words, what do you mean? Words that are dead, and therefore meaning? Words of death? Death threat?
posted by John Khuu 2:26:54 AM
PLEASE READ!! PLEASE READ!! PLEASE READ!! I am making the transition of using blogger.com ==to==> livejournal.com because of upcoming FTP incapabilities with oocities.com.
My 'Thoughts' section will not be moving only expanding in features as with thoughts whenever possible!
New feature of 'Thoughts' will include "leave a comment" feature (a.k.a. "serenade to me" link) which you can leave a message for me to read about whatever related post.PLEASE READ!! PLEASE READ!! PLEASE READ!!
posted by John Khuu 4:07:37 PM
1:14 AM 03/11/2002 9\11 Revisited
Six months later.
The dust settles down to the ground. But we are still coughing blood up.
The memories choke some of us just as the dust did six months prior.Six months revisited.
My visage sinks back into its routine frown. The tears fade back into unwilling stares. My head bows down into defeat of feelings just as the Towers bowed its exit six months before.
::Sigh::
Some of us have forgotten the feelings. Some of us have become numb from the news. Some of us don't understand. Some of us don't care.
And me? I have fallen back into that zombie lapse. Stuffed but limp with empathy, sighs, and memories. . .
m e m
o r i
e s. . .
of the hours lying in bed, empty stares on the screen of the continuous 'instant replay' and multiple angles of the Twins buckling to the pressure, of the hopelessness found in my confusion, of the realization "everything put together sooner or later falls apart" (P. Simon, 1972), of the denial of this historical moment of this tragic event.And today, March 11th, 2002, six months later since the deed to remind us of our solidarity and overbearing zeal of ourselves on the world.
Silence. Pause yourself for a few seconds.
Remember that silence. . . of the streets with no names just covered in dust? Remember where you were when the news struck each of your twin ears? And maybe you'll recall the silent heartbeats.
If so, then a moment of silence please. To all those lost since September 11th, 2001--not just in the United States but elsewhere on different sides of the political scheme.
::Sigh::
::Exhale::
We take a step back and walk away. Brush the dust off our corpse. Wipe our hands of the red-stain blood. And maybe some tears will fall to the ground and illuminate our sins. But the imprints don't fade. . . only imprints into our souls of what we have done, what we feel, and what we will see become of us.
Perhaps I speak in riddles or in a delirious mindset. But take another breath and ask yourself what does it mean to live.
2:15 AM 03/11/2002
Computer desk of Murphree 211 dorm
posted by John Khuu 2:16:50 AM
Good sense is the master
of human life.
Lucky Numbers 13, 14, 27, 29, 31, 33
posted by John Khuu 1:13:38 AM
N
I'm gonna die one way or another
Think you're clever, huh?
Would saving someone be just as easy?I see dead words G Dead words, what do you mean? Words that are dead, and therefore meaning? Words of death? Death threat?
posted by John Khuu 2:26:54 AM
"Close your eyes
Close your eyes
Breathe the air out there
We are free, we can be wide openFor you open my eyes
To the beauty I see
We will pray, we will stay
Wide openDon't analyse
Don't analyse
Don't go that way
Don't lead that way
That would paralyse your evolution"
--the cranberries (analyse)
posted by John Khuu 3:49:03 PM
posted by John Khuu 8:30:32 PM
03-05-2002 - 2.47amthese self-inflicted, razor-sharp thoughts gnaw on me
and these cracks remain carved inside of my heart
mind over matter, mind over matter is the key
they are nothing, nothing but cardboard-stuffed styrofoams
blow 'em away and they go
wipe your hands clean and they stay
they're only styrofoam slits.
the other dayand last tuesday i thought it over and over. . .
i wish for death, but not its permanence
i wish for pain, but not the scars
i wish for love, yet not its troubles. . . but i don't know what i'm saying.
. . . but i don't know what i'm reciting, just instructions. . .i'm just a cut-out figure. . .
follow the dotted-lines around my body,
don't go astray, but cut my heart out please. . .
i'm just a cut-out figure for yourpleasure.appetite.and i'm just the gingerbread boy. . .
tumbling off the table and onto the ground,
chase me 'til i tire, chase me 'til i'm yours please. . .
but don't forget to put my heart inside here
because even gingerbread boys need
sugar and spice and everything nice.catch me, hold onto me, ^breake me into pieces, mold me. . .
mixstir me up back inside the batter
i am yours to hold, yours tobeatmold,yours toyours to stomach. . .
stir me back into non-existence ¶and i'll be yours.and even if i appear rough,
and though i'm just abit fragile,and even if i appear rough,[move to one line up]
and still if i crumble easily outside,
my heart is still soft inside,
and i still feel your every words pressing on me.and self-inflicted scars are soothed and smoothed back
into my cookie dough skin
where my heart hides within
and saddening thoughts of death are pressedin
into my finger-pointed frown
where sugar droplets dance around. . .a gingerbread boy cookie fit to order.
a gingerbread boy cookie filled with amour ^and worries.3:34am
title:
a gingerbread boy, ginger snaps plea (titled after writing)
written at: computer-desk @ largo home using www.blogger.com
listening to/inspired by: Counting Crows' "Private Archipelago + A Long December (Dallas 07 10-10-00)" & "A Murder Of One (extra long live 16m18s)"
notes: written and edited using blogger.com, html tagging; 'last tuesday' thoughts refer to 02-26-02 of the verses i made in my head--starting at analam's room (5:40pm) then re-developed/recited to zqxm (~midnight of 02-27-02) and recited once more to rainyhands (2amish)this has been a live poetry writing. . . sigh. . . night to anyone there.
3:45am
posted by John Khuu 2:54:52 AM
"Can't you hear me?
Cause I'm screaming
Did not go outside. . . yesterday
Don't wake me please don't wake me
Cause I was dreaming
And I might just stay inside again. . . today
I don't go out much these days
Cause sometimes I stay inside all day
Leave me leave me leave me leave me leave me alone
Won't you leave me leave me leave me leave me alone
Won't you leave me leave me leave me leave me alone
Won't you leave me leave me leave me leave me alone
Won't you leave me alone"
--Counting Crows (Miller's Angels)
"she made herself out of the blue
something she never used to do
she found herself involved with the crack in the wall of her bedroom
and when her pocketwatch stopped she thought she'd turn the hands backwards
visualize the speed of light and slip back into a vacuumshe lives alone on a private archipelago with a palm tree and a sea shell
she plays in the waves all day, she's scared of dying and she wants to keep it that way
she puts a boat out on the sea with a little note for me
it says "why are the girls so hungry"she says i am everything
she says that i am everything
she says i am everything
and she's nothing
she's nothingi am everything and you are nothing
oh baby please come home i want to be with you
i am everything and you are nothing"
--sordid humor (private archipelago)
posted by John Khuu 2:04:44 AM
posted by John Khuu 1:07:06 PM
It is very possible that you will acheive
greatness in your lifetime.
Lucky Numbers 2, 11, 30, 35, 36, 46
Finally a fortune cookie with a realistic "fortune" as opposed to the "compliment" cookie (e.g., "You're beautiful", etc.). I hope the next fortune will give a more realistic and specific forecast on life.
"I hope The Oracle gave you some good news," said Apoc of The Matrix to Neo.
posted by John Khuu 12:10:42 AM
"Things are changing
But nothing changes
And still there are changes
Le roi est mort, vive le roi! [The king is dead, long live the king!]
There is no teacher
Who can teach anything new
He can just help us to remember
The things we always knew"
--Enigma (Odyessy Of The Mind)
Here on this page, I will lay upon to you, the reader, my thoughts that are not intended to teach but to remind us all of our past, mistakes, lessons, and all things that shape our lives.
posted by John Khuu 10:30PM
Woohoo, you are the 
th person to visit this page. I appreciate your visit to my poetry caf?
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