EVEN MORE JOKES HERE!

What do you call a german condom:
Fitemgoodandtight

One afternoon a man and his wife had just finished possibly the worst round of golf they'd ever played. In order to remedy their golf woes, they decided to schedule some lessons with the resident pro. Unfortunately the pair's schedules did not allow them to schedule their first lessons together, so the husband signed up for a Tuesday afternoon slot, and the wife, for one the next day. Tuesday arrived, and the husband walked out to the first tee with the golf pro. The pro, having never seen the husband's swing before, asked him to tee one up and fire away. The husband did as he was instructed and, as per his norm, sliced deep into the adjacent woods. The pro remarked, "Well, Tom, I can see a number of problems, but the most obvious is that you hold the club way too hard. Loosen up on the grip--as you would if you were holding your wife's breasts." The husband, seeing the value in such advice, gripped the club much more gently and teed off and hit one long and straight down the fairway. He went on to shoot one of the better rounds of his life. The next day, the wife arrived for her lesson. The golf pro asked to see her swing, and she too sliced, not quite as deep, but into the same woods her husband had the previous day. The pro said, "Marilyn, you and your husband have the same problem. You both hold the club too firmly. I want you to loosen your grip--as if you were holding your husband's penis." Marilyn shrugged, and gripped the club as she typically held her husband's penis, and hit the ball a few feet off the tee. As it rolled and came to a stop a mere six feet from the tee, the golf pro half-chuckled and said, "Well, now, that's just fine, but let's try holding the club in your hands, and not in your mouth this time."

A guy walks into work with a sad look on his 
face. His friend asks him why he is so down. "My wife 
doesn't seem to want to have sex with me anymore." was 
his reply. "That happens to me sometimes too, so you know 
what I do? I go home after work and strip off all my 
clothes, climb into bed and eat her out. That does the 
trick every time." "That' a good idea, maybe I'll try 
that."

So that night he went home and the lights were all out. 
He took off all his clothes and climbed under the covers 
and proceeded to eat her out. He heard moans and she 
wriggled about so he finished her off. Just having come 
home from work he was dirty, so he decided to take a 
shower before he continued. He walked into his bathroom 
and saw his wife on the toilet. 
"Shhh-your mother's asleep."